


Our Hemisphere

by albertblithe (Gabbaroni)



Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Andy's Parents - Freeform, Disabled Character, Eddie's Family, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Non-Graphic Violence, Original Character(s), Outing, Period Typical Attitudes, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:15:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 42,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7942606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabbaroni/pseuds/albertblithe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ack Ack and Hillbilly make it back from the war in one piece, more or less, and it only takes a handful of exchanged letters for Andy to hop on a train headed for the Hill Country.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hill Country

It only took a handful of exchanged letters for Eddie to suggest a visit and for Andy to hop on a train headed for the Hill Country. Andy felt his ears pop as the train chugged up the mountain. It was early autumn and although Andy was sure nothing could beat the New England fall, the red and golden mountains were giving it a run for its money. The young woman next to him slept soundly even while her head lolled with the rumbling tracks; the afternoon sun made her light hair shine and Andy was drowning in gold. 

Eddie was waiting for him at the train station. He wore brown wool pants and scuffed shoes, an off-white button up rolled up to the elbow with worn suspenders, and a matching jacket was folded into the space made by his hands in his pockets. As Andy made his way closer he could make out more. Eddie was clean shaven, something Andy thought he’d never see, his hair was combed but no less unruly than ever, and a cigarette hung from his lips, which were slowly making their way from a smart smirk to a broad smile. The closer Andy came the antsier Eddie became; he rolled forward onto the balls of his feet and glanced away for a moment. Once Andy was within arms reach he broke, took a stride forward and pulled Andy to him. 

Andy held on tightly, even if the embrace lasted only a minute. Eddie was clapping him on the back and he did the same. When they pulled apart Eddie took a bit to look at him before saying, “Boy, did I miss you, Skipper.”

Andy felt like he was floating. “I missed you too, Lieutenant.”

Eddie led him to his car: a pickup. Andy stored his suitcase behind his seat as Eddie started the truck. He hopped in and the two took off, Andy noticed, quite a ways out. The further they went, the scarcer the buildings became, the more the forest swallowed them. Andy rolled down his window and Eddie glanced sideways at him and smiled, maybe rolled his eyes. The wind whipped at Andy’s hair and the air was damp and sweet. Past the whirring in his ears, Andy could hear Eddie humming. What was it? _Glory, Glory, Hallelujah…_

Eddie eventually pulled off to the right, down a long worn path that wasn’t anything more than two tire tracks. Andy slowly rolled up his window as Eddie pulled in front of a small garage next to a house with white wood paneling; they got out and Andy grabbed his suitcase. Eddie led him straight to the red front door. 

Eddie snuffed out his cigarette, opened the door, and stepped through first. He called out, “Mama? Pop? I’m back!”

There was a rustling from another room, the kitchen, Andy assumed, from the sounds of metal and water. A woman came into view. She was small but not frail looking. She looked sharp, just like her son. Her hair was pulled back but it hung in thick curls and she regarded Andy with her hands on her hips. 

“Mama,” Eddie said, “This is Captain Haldane.”

Mrs. Jones surged forward with a twang of energy, “Captain, it’s wonderful to meet you. Our Eddie’s told us all about you.” She reached out her hand.

“Pleased to meet you, ma’am.” Andy shook it, “Please, call me Andy.”

“Welcome to our home, Andy,” she said warmly, then she turned to her son, “Come help me in the kitchen, supper’s almost on.”

Eddie furrowed his brow at Andy with that look which so often accompanied him and motioned for him to set down his suitcase. They walked into the kitchen where Mrs. Jones was juggling several pots on the stove. Andy was surprised to see someone else there as well: a man in a wheelchair, reading a newspaper at the head of a table. He set it down when they entered, “So this is Captain Haldane.”

Andy squeezed between Mama at the stove and the table so he could shake Pop’s hand, “Ah, yes sir, please, call me Andy.”

“Will do, Andy.” Mr. Jones was thin in his build and in his face. He was handsome still but undoubtedly weathered. Andy could see Eddie’s smile resting on his lips and this was somehow comforting. 

Mrs. Jones came over and squeezed Andy’s shoulder, “Eddie speaks so fondly of you,” she smiled up at him.

“Oh, does he, now?” He raised his brow at Eddie who swayed and pretended to look at the ceiling.

“We’re so happy to have you.”

Before Andy could thank her, there was a whistling from behind them and Andy shot back to the stove to remove a pot boiling over from its burner. The handles were metal and Andy winced at the pain. Eddie quickly moved to run the tap. A gasp of concern came from Mrs. Jones but Andy assured her she had nothing to worry about. His words came to him slower as Eddie smoothed over his palms with his thumbs under the water. 

“There you are, Skipper,” Eddie said softly as he turned off the tap and tossed Andy a towel. 

“No harm done?” asked Mr. Jones from his place at the table.

“No harm done,” replied Andy while he wrung his hand with the towel. 

When dinner was set Andy was introduced to the rest of the Jones family. There was Joseph, four years younger than Eddie, unable to enlist on account of a lame foot. Sheridan, who was 20 and engaged to an auto-mechanic across town, was incredibly beautiful. Frank was 14 and best friends with his brother John, who was twelve. The youngest of the gang was Ruth at seven. She had the same unruly curls as Eddie and his same smart smile. She mischievously eyed Eddie from her place across from him and Andy watched as the two carried on some silent conversation that had Ruth giggling loudly. Andy was delighted; Ruth, who Eddie called Ruthie, must have been Eddie’s favorite. He may have not admitted to it, but Andy had gotten pretty good at reading his men. 

His watching was interrupted by Joseph, who spoke hurriedly, “Captain Haldane?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You were with Eddie when he got his Purple Heart, right?” He picked up his fork and fiddled with it, “I mean, when he got injured. He won’t tell any of us about it–”

“Joe,” Eddie said with warning, “You ain’t got the right to ask the Skipper something like that.”

“It’s alright, Lieutenant,” Andy looked at him heavily until Eddie sighed and sat back in his seat. 

Andy looked directly at Joe, although he knew the rest of the table had become quiet to listen, “I was there when Eddie was hit, yes.” He breathed in deeply, “We were making our way between two ridges, point A to point B, like always. I was behind the men, directing them, when he was hit. I had Sledge, a boy in our company, and another go out to get him on a stretcher. It wasn’t until they had him up and laid out, that he really got hurt.” Andy noticed that Sheridan, who was sitting next to Ruth, was busying her sister with her vegetables. “He took a bullet in the stomach. Now, that’s more than enough to down a normal man. But your Eddie is so damn stubborn. He just… refused to die.” Andy sat back in his seat some, “Did give me quite the scare, though.”

“Did it hurt?” This came from Frank.

Eddie nodded without looking at him.

“Did he cry?” asked John.

“Marines don’t cry,” Eddie answered.

“Yes they do,” Andy ribbed him.

Eddie barely looked at him and laughed, “Not all of us made it off that island without gettin’ hit.”

“Hey, I was hit,” Andy countered and almost sounded juvenile.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Eddie mocked, “made it off without gettin’ _wounded_ is what I meant.”

“You were hit without being wounded?” asked Joe. 

“Yep,” said Andy, “a sniper caught the top of my helmet. I went down like a sack of potatoes and almost met my maker.”

“But you didn’t,” said Eddie, he looked at Andy with a weight he couldn’t recognize.

“But I didn’t.”

“Wish I could’ve gone,” grumbled Joe, “instead of hobbling around on a messed up foot.” 

“No,” Andy told him, “you don’t. You may think you do, but you’re lucky to have stayed home.” He paused, “Weather’s nicer here, anyway.”

 

After dinner, Andy helped Mrs. Jones clean the dishes while Eddie, Joe, and Sheridan helped the littles get cleaned up and get ready for homework, or sleep as was the case with Ruth. Andy heard the soft strumming of a guitar through the wall and smiled as he thought of Eddie singing Ruth to sleep. 

As he helped wash the dishes, Mrs. Jones spoke to him, “I wanted you to know,” she said quietly, “how much I appreciate you looking after my son.” 

“It’s just my job, ma’am,” Andy replied.

“I know my son, Andy. He may be my eldest but he’s still my baby.” Andy smiled closed-lipped, “I know you boys went through a lot over there. I know some of you boys come back,” she paused, “changed, different.” She put down the plate she was drying and turned to Andy, “But my Eddie is still my Eddie. The way he talks about you… I have no doubt you’re the reason he’s here, _all_ here.”

Andy didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. Mrs. Jones didn’t seem to mind. 

“Ack Ack,” Eddie waltzed in.

Andy laughed through his nose but didn’t look up from his task, “Hillbilly.”

“That’s no way to address me in front of my mother.” 

“My apologies, ma’am.” Andy smiled at Mrs. Jones and she smiled back.

“I’m gonna sit on the back porch if you wanna join me,” Eddie crossed behind them and opened the back door.

“I’m helping your mother right now,” Andy called to him.

“Oh no,” Mrs. Jones interjected, “I can finish these just fine. You’re our guest, go relax out back.”

With his thanks, Andy dried his hands and followed Eddie through the back door; they sat on the floor of the wooden porch with their legs hanging over the edge. Eddie pulled out his pack of cigarettes, lit two in his mouth, then passed one to Andy. 

“Always could count on my Lieutenant,” Andy said as he took the smoke. They both took a few drags in silence. 

While examining the forest around them, Andy said, “So this is the Hill Country?”

“Home, sweet home,” replied Eddie as he laid himself backward. 

“What, already clocking out on me?” Andy teased. 

“Never run when you can walk,” Eddie started. Andy just smacked his knee. 

As if suddenly reminded, Eddie sat up like a bolt and took Andy’s hand in his. He furrowed his brow as he examined it and Andy was caught up in the expression. But Andy’s hand was fine, only red in stripes where he’d caught the handle. Eddie still thumbed over them gently, his fingernails were shiny, not covered in dirt and sweat and coral dust like Andy still expected.  

“You’re hands are clean,” Andy said dumbly.

“They got these things called showers here.” Eddie’s tone was dry but Andy couldn’t bring himself to mind. 

After a few moments, Eddie spoke again, “You’ll be sleeping in my room. I figured that  would be easiest. My room was moved to the basement anyway, when I came back, Mama had moved all my stuff down there.” He took a drag, “And I thought, maybe this weekend we could go camping. I thought you’d like it. You always talked about the stars over there.” He gives Andy a smirk, “You should see our hemisphere.”

 

Eddie’s room was small and his bed was only a double, but they’d shared closer quarters before. When they laid down, Eddie said goodnight to him. Both curled up to fit together in the small bed, but Andy knew Hillbilly would spread out as he slept. He’d watched him do it before. 

They fell into a steady sleep and were uninterrupted until the early morning. Andy woke slowly, some noise cutting into whatever dream he was having. He couldn’t remember what it was anyway. The noise that woke him was Eddie. He was tossing and turning, moving desperately while hoarse grunts came from his throat. Andy heard a sob a moment before he gripped Eddie’s arm. 

“Eddie, Eddie,” He said as clearly as he could, “Come on, wake up.”

Eddie tossed his head to the side and then was suddenly awake, although not entirely lucid. “Skip?” his voice was a whisper, “Skipper, is that you?”

“Yeah, Eddie. You’re home. It was just a dream.”

Realization came to Eddie slowly but his breathing refused to come down. Instead, he coughed and sputtered; Andy was afraid he would hyperventilate and he held his head still.

He shushed him and did his best to speak gently, “You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re home. You’re safe.”

Eddie kept his eyes on him and eventually he came back to Andy. When he did he apologized, Andy could see him blush even in the dark. 

“No, it’s okay,” he laid back down, “You’re not the only one to ever have those.”

Eddie nodded and Andy felt him shuffle an inch closer. This time when they fell asleep they faced each other, Andy’s hand grounding Eddie by his shoulder. 

They got up before the sun, Eddie mumbling about getting the little ones ready for school. Andy mused that perhaps they were old enough to get ready themselves.

“Won’t do,” replied Eddie, “It’s bad luck if I don’t see off Ruthie.”

Andy smiled without opening his eyes and drifted back into sleep. Eddie shook him awake sometime later. It felt like only moments but Eddie informed him it had been an hour. 

“Shower’s all yours, Ack Ack.” 

Andy lifted his head to find Eddie leaning over him, curls dripping with water and a towel around his waist. Water dripped onto his forehead as he sat up.

“Gloucester rain wasn’t enough for you? Think I deserve a bit more water?”

“Right you are,” Eddie grinned, “Guess that’s why you’re the Skipper.”

Andy stood and made his way to the stairs. He turned back to Eddie and said, “Not anymore, Jones.”

Eddie just gave him a mock, two-finger salute as Andy jogged up the stairs.

In the shower Andy washed and let the water wake him up. He did his best not to think about why the sight of Eddie after the shower made his chest tight. He’d gotten pretty good at it. 

Afterward, he made his way to the basement wrapped in a towel and heard the strumming of a guitar float up through the floorboards. He was greeted with the sight of Eddie on his bed, leaning back with his legs crossed in front of him, eyes closed and playing his guitar. His head rested against the wall behind him and Andy was fairly certain Eddie didn’t realize he was in the room until he began dressing. 

“I’ll keep my eyes closed to protect your honor,” Eddie ribbed at him.

“You’ve seen me naked more times ’n I can count,” Andy tossed him a sour look he couldn’t see.

Andy could hear Eddie’s smirk clear across the room, “That’s before you were a civilian.”

Andy shook his head but still found himself smiling. When he finished dressing he plopped himself down on the edge of the bed; Eddie opened his eyes and grinned broadly at him. 

“You know, sometimes at home I find myself thinking about your guitar,” said Andy, “I think I missed her company.”

“You didn’t miss her more’n you missed your old pal, did ya?” Eddie jested. 

“Oh, definitely,” replied Andy, “She’s most of what makes you bearable.”

Eddie stood and shoved Andy roughly in his shoulder as he passed, but Andy could see him fighting a grin. Both marched up the stairs and into the kitchen, passing Mama and Pop sitting in the family room. Andy greeted them as they passed. 

Once in the kitchen, Eddie opened the bread box, “Toast with jam good with you?” he asked over his shoulder.

“What, no C Rations?”

Eddie inhaled his portion. Andy couldn’t blame him, that had been a particularly difficult habit to knock. He still viewed food as something rare and precious and usually forgot not to scarf it down unless with company. 

Once they were both licking excess jam off their fingers, Andy asked, “So, what’s the plan for today?”

“Well,” said Eddie, sucking jam off the pad of his thumb, “I gotta take a look at the truck, clean out the gutters, and help Mama harvest some of her vegetables. Promised her I would.”

“Where are your siblings?” asked Andy. 

“Joe’s working at the Post Office; he does so every Monday through Thursday,” Eddie explained, “Sheridan’s likely at Rob’s.”

Andy hummed an understanding. 

“I offer to do most of these chores,” Andy thought Eddie ducked his head slightly, “It helps to keep busy after.”

Andy didn’t want Eddie to have to continue, “Well, I don’t know how much help I’d be with the truck, but I can clean gutters with the best of them, and I can help your mother if you want.”

Eddie’s smile was small and he said quietly, “I think Mama would like that.”

Eddie stood up and paced to the family room, “Mama?” his parents looked up at him, “How would you like it if Andy helped you with your garden today?”

“That would be lovely, if he likes,” Mama said with enthusiasm. “My boy’s not roping you into doing his chores, is he, Andy?”

“No, ma’am,” said Andy, “I offered to help.”

“Well, I’m gonna to work on the truck,” Eddie supplied, “I’ll be in the driveway, if anyone needs me.” He clapped Andy’s back as he turned and left. 

Mrs. Jones turned to Andy with a beaming smile, “Are you ready to help me work now?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Andy replied. 

“Great,” she said, “I’ll lead you there.”

Mrs. Jones stood and walked past Andy. Andy was just about to turn and follow her when Mr. Jones called out, “Son, would you mind helping me? I’d like to accompany my wife outside, but even that’s not as simple as it used to be.”

“Of course, sir,” Andy walked to the back of his wheelchair and steered him toward the kitchen. Mrs. Jones was waiting for them in the door frame. She led them out to the back porch where they hung a left and continued down a ramp at the edge of the porch. They rounded the corner of the house where Andy was treated to the sight of an entire side lawn dedicated to all kinds of vegetables. 

“Just leave me here at the edge, son,” said Mr. Jones. Andy did so and walked over to Mrs. Jones who was putting on gardening gloves she must have grabbed from the kitchen when Andy was talking with Pop. 

“I’m sorry I don’t have another pair,” she said to him, “but I figure you’ve dealt with worse.”

Andy nodded and Mrs. Jones began directing him. He was to dig up roots and tubers while she picked the tomatoes and squash. As he worked, Andy listened to Mama and Pop carry on conversation. They discussed neighbors and local gossip. Andy was surprised to find that Mr. Jones seemed very interested in those topics while Mrs. Jones didn’t put much stock in idle chatter. They discussed Sheridan and Rob and the wedding coming up in a month. They had the venue picked but were still having trouble agreeing with Rob’s family on who should conduct the service. The Jones wanted a local Methodist Pastor to marry their daughter but the Baldwins were Catholic (something Mr. Jones was not fond of, in particular) and wanted the Father of their church to do it. 

They discussed Frank and John and their performances in school. John was having trouble in Math and Mrs. Jones wanted to hire a tutor but Mr. Jones countered they didn’t have the money.

“I could help him, if you’d like.”

Both parents turned to regard Andy with surprise. 

“I’m only here for the week, but if you think it would help him, I’d be happy to tutor him,” continued Andy, “Free of charge, of course.”

Pop looked as if he wanted to decline and Andy was worried he’d overstepped. But Mama was smiling and spoke before her husband could, “Would you, really?” she said, “That would be such a favor to us.”

“Yeah,” Andy said enthusiastically, “I’m fond of Math. I’ll do what I can to help.”

After a moment’s pause Mr. Jones said very seriously, “Thank you, Andy.”

Andy nodded and returned to his work. As he continued he heard Mama and Pop talk quietly. It only took a moment for him to realize they were talking about Eddie. He couldn’t make out their words, and some of the conversation took place without speaking, but he could hear the concern in their voices and see it in their postures. He kept stealing glances at them, curiosity threatening to overcome his manners. He never did ask what they were worried about, but he caught Mrs. Jones smiling warmly at him more than once. 

Perhaps an hour later, Mrs. Jones told Andy they’d done enough for the day and that Mr. Jones shouldn’t spend too much time in the sun. So the three went back to the porch and into the kitchen. Andy helped Mrs. Jones clean all of the vegetables in the sink and Mr. Jones picked up where he’d left off in his newspaper. 

Within the next hour, Mr. Jones had retired to his room to sleep for a while and Mrs. Jones was sharing a cup of coffee with Andy. She spoke to Andy excitedly about her daughter’s wedding, how she was elated to finally have one of her children marry. She said she’d always expected Joseph to be the first.

“Not Eddie?” asked Andy with his brow knit together, sipping his cup. 

“No,” replied Mama, “he’s my oldest but he’s never shown a great interest in romance. Girls fell for him left and right, much to his brother’s disdain,” she giggled, “but he never returned the gesture.”

Andy hummed.

“Some people are content to wait for the right person,” Mama said before she took a drink.

She shifted then and looked at Andy with concern. He didn’t understand what she was doing but she covered his hand with her own and made sure Andy was looking squarely at her. “I… appreciate what you said at supper yesterday,” she said with a softness that relaxed him, “Normally, I wouldn’t consider it polite table conversation,” she paused, “but, truthfully, I’ve wanted to know about my son’s time away for a while now. I don’t want to press him, I’m afraid he’ll resent me for it, but I still want to know.”

Andy looked down at her small hand on his. He could feel the cool metal of her wedding ring on top of his finger. He nodded minutely and glanced back at her. 

He took a deep breath and said, “Eddie wouldn’t resent you. He may get upset; it’s an upsetting thing to think about.” He paused here, unsure of what to say on Eddie’s behalf. He thought of what he knew of Eddie, of what came naturally to him and said, “Eddie was one of my strongest officers. He never faltered in front of our men and he always found ways to raise morale, what with that guitar of his,” he smiled fondly at the memory, “but sometimes, when it was just the two of us, he’d talk about home. I’ll admit I didn’t even know he had siblings until yesterday, but his face would light up when he talked about this place. About the mountains. About you.”

Mrs. Jones squeezed Andy’s hand before pulling away. She stood up and excused herself to her bedroom, told Andy to help himself to anything he’d like. Andy finished his coffee and walked to the sink to rinse out his cup when Eddie walked in.

“Don’t you look lovely,” Andy said as Eddie unlaced his boots and threw them onto the porch.

“Thanks, darlin’” Eddie replied. He was covered with splotches of grease and oil, his hands almost entirely black. He wore a pair of work overalls over his jeans and undershirt and the whole get-up had Andy stifling giggles. But Eddie just waltzed right past him with little regard and pulled a bottle of some kind of soap from underneath the sink. He scrubbed his arms to the elbows and Andy was pleased to find it smelled strongly of oranges. When he was finished washing, he shucked his overalls and tossed them onto the porch as well. 

Eddie found a glass in a cabinet for water which he gulped down until it was completely gone. He slammed the glass down and shook his head as if to clear it of fog. 

“You have a good time in the garden?” he asked. 

“I did,” answered Andy, “your father came with us. I volunteered to help John with his Math.”

“That should be a shitstorm,” Eddie snorted. 

“Hah, not nearly,” Andy pushed back, “I’m not as dumb as I look.”

 

At three o’ clock Frank, John, and Ruth came bursting through the front door, full of energy and gabbing loudly. In a very practiced manner, Eddie and Mrs. Jones took to getting them out of their backpacks. Mama asked her children about their days and asked them if they had any homework. Frank and John grumbled yes, and Ruth said she had spelling to practice. With a nod and a pat on the shoulder, Mama sent all three of them out to play in the backyard. 

Andy asked Eddie for a cigarette and then went to follow the kids, sitting where he and Eddie had the night before. Several minutes later he heard the back door creak open and closed and then Eddie sat beside him with his guitar in hand. He plucked out something Andy didn’t recognize; he suspected Eddie was making it up in the moment. He held out the cigarette in offering and Eddie took it between his lips. Andy watched with midday sleepiness as Eddie sucked in and then blew smoke out the side of his mouth. Here, on his back porch with his guitar in his lap and no shoes on his feet, Eddie was home. To Andy it felt sincere and intimate to see him this way. The mid-afternoon sun made his hair glow gold, his smile was warm, and every edge of him was soft in this moment. Right then Andy felt the strongest urge to reach out and touch him; instead, he took his cigarette back and took a long drag. 

He remembered how Eddie had looked yesterday at the train station, “Did you get dressed up to see me yesterday?” he asked, partially curious and partially looking for an excuse to tease him.

“Might’ve,” Eddie crooned, “Guests are rare, especially ones I like.” He smirked at him. 

Ruth came running at them with a loud shriek and she giggled helplessly as her older brothers followed to tag her. Frank caught her by the shoulder and ran away but instead of chasing after him, she turned to Eddie.

“Can we play freeze dance?” She pleaded, “Pretty please, can we?”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” Eddie feigned apprehension but never stopped plucking, “will your brothers play with you?” He raised his voice for them to hear. 

“Who cares?” Ruth sounded exasperated, even as her brothers came to the porch eagerly. 

“Alright,” Eddie said, giving her a mischievous smile. Quickly Eddie picked up his tune. He played something fast and cheerful; all three of his siblings began dancing. That is, they began jumping and flinging their limbs around. Andy let out a surprised laugh. 

As quickly as he began, Eddie stopped playing, slamming his hands on the strings to stop their ringing. The three kids froze in each of their own ridiculous positions. Another laugh was forced from Andy and Eddie laughed at him in turn. Still watching Andy, he started up again and his siblings ran in circles and danced. John took Ruth on his back and spun her around. Both almost fell when Eddie stopped the music again.

“Edward!” called Mama from inside, “Don’t wear them out before they’ve done their homework.” Eddie slowed his playing to a stop, “While you’re at it, why don’t you get them inside. Supper will be ready soon.”

Eddie called to his siblings and they followed him inside all huffing and puffing. Andy gave each of them water when they asked for it and Mrs. Jones told them to set the table. 

Joe came home at five and Sheridan followed soon after. After Grace she told the table she and Rob had spent the day planning for the wedding. 

“When’s the big day?” asked Andy over his peas.

“A month from now, October 25th,” she replied with a voice that had answered that question many times. 

Andy nodded and continued to eat but Sheridan looked at him with a sudden spark.

“You should come!” she said. 

“Oh, no,” Andy said slowly, “I couldn’t impose on you like that.”

“No,” she nearly sang, “you wouldn’t be imposing! After all, someone so important to my big brother should be there.”

Andy looked to Eddie but couldn’t quite read his expression. 

“Besides,” Sheridan continued, “I owe you one for bringing him back home.”

Andy wanted to tell her that wasn’t the case. There were plenty of people he was supposed to bring home and didn’t. Eddie fended for himself. But he thanked her and accepted her invitation. Andy noticed Eddie reacted visibly to that, the corners of his mouth trying to touch his ears. 

When supper was done, that is, when John finished his vegetables, Sheridan helped her mother clean and Andy sat down with John to help him with his Math.

Eddie sat adjacent to them and fiddled with a cigarette like he wanted to smoke but was resisting the urge. Andy knew the feeling well. 

“Eddie,” Ruth’s familiar sweet voice lilted towards them, “will you help me with my spelling?”

“Alright,” Eddie told her softly and put his cigarette in his pocket. He pulled up a chair and patted it for her. She climbed on and placed her spelling list on the table. 

Andy, for his part, watched John go through several multiplication tables with ease, only pausing on the larger numbers. However, when John turned his paper over and was presented with several fractions to add and multiply he stopped. His neck turned red under scrutiny but Andy did his best to seem kind. He pointed to the first problem.

“Why don’t you read this for me,” he said. 

“One fourth plus one fourth equals…” John read slowly.

“Do you know what the answer is?”

John’s hesitation spoke for him.

“Can I see your pencil?” Andy asked him, “There’s no problem with not knowing something. It just means you have more to learn.”

He pulled the paper toward him and drew four blocks arranged in a square in the corner.

“These four blocks make up a bigger square right?”

John nodded. 

Andy handed him the pencil, “Color one fourth of the big square for me.”

John hesitated before shading in one of the four blocks.

“Good,” said Andy, “Now, color another fourth.”

John shaded the block beside the previous one. 

“Exactly right,” Andy gently took the pencil from him and circled the two shaded blocks, “Now, these are each one fourth right?”

A nod. 

“What are they together?” Andy asked, “In terms on the whole big square.”

“They’re one half.”

“Exactly!” Andy smiled at John as he wrote in the correct answer. 

The rest of the problems went along similarly to the first, John catching on as he went and having a much easier time with the multiplication than the addition. 

As they worked, Andy stole glances at Eddie and Ruth. He heard Eddie help with words like “house” and “quiet” and “after.” He heard Eddie make Ruth laugh and caught them having a silent conversation at one point. After he finished working with John he stayed and watched them, Ruth seemed oblivious to him, but Eddie looked up at him once or twice without acknowledging him. Andy didn’t think much of it. 

Eventually Ruth declared she’d had enough spelling for the day and Eddie told her to go get a bath before bed. 

Thirty minutes later Andy heard the soft sounds of a guitar coming from Ruth’s room.

By ten Andy laid in bed next to Eddie, trying to sleep and thinking of math problems.

“You know,” he said to Eddie who was curled up tight, nose practically touching his knees, “John isn’t bad at Math at all. He breezes right through his multiplication,” Andy stared at the ceiling, one hand bent behind his head, “It’s just the fractions that get him. He has trouble understanding that one fourth plus one fourth equals one half when four plus four should equal eight.”

“Four plus four does equal eight,” said Eddie, words muffled by the mattress and his knees. “You’d think they’d cover that material in between football seasons.”

Eventually Andy fell asleep. He fitted himself curled on his side along the edge of the bed so Eddie could spread out in his sleep.


	2. The Trip

Andy didn’t know what time he woke up, but he felt disoriented nonetheless. Japan had made him a light sleeper and his eyes snapped open at the first creak of the stairs. He heard Eddie grumble awake next to him and he heard a quiet voice call out timidly, “Eddie?”

Andy sat up and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms; Eddie seemed to better understand what was happening, even though he only lifted his head a fraction of an inch.

“Ruth? What is it?” Eddie asked in a sleep thick voice. 

Ruth was already crawling onto the foot of the bed, “I had a nightmare,” she whispered like a secret.

“Why didn’t you go wake up Sheridan?” Eddie sounded annoyed but Andy doubted he was really upset.

“She doesn’t have nightmares, she doesn’t get it.” Ruth sat cross-legged on the bed now.

“Everyone has nightmares, Ruth.”

“No, she doesn’t.” Ruth insisted, “You do. You told me you do.”

There was a pause before Eddie’s reply and Andy could feel Ruth shaking Eddie’s leg. 

“Alright,” Eddie relented, “you can stay for a little bit.” He patted the space between he and Andy.

Ruth crawled up the bed and tucked herself under the covers. It was a tight fit but Andy tried to make room for her, curled in, facing her and Eddie. 

Ruth hadn’t laid down yet and she turned to Andy saying, “You kept Eddie safe, right?”

Andy’s chest tightened. He looked to Eddie who nodded his approval. “Yeah, I did.”

“So, you can keep me safe too?”

“Yeah, I can.”

“Good,” said Ruth and she squirmed down to fit between them. 

Andy was still for a long time while he watched Ruth, a littler, softer, version of her brother, fall into sleep. He was still while he watched Eddie drift in and out of sleep. The even rising and falling of their chests filled him with a new affection, one he didn’t understand. But it sat in his chest, solid like a hen’s egg, and couldn’t be bothered to move.

Within the next half hour, Andy felt Eddie shift to sit up. Ruth had fallen asleep again.

“No, it’s okay,” Andy stopped him, “I’ll take her.”

Seemingly too tired to argue, Eddie slid back down to lie on his stomach and mumbled a thanks.

As delicately as he could, Andy stood and then stooped to pick up a sleeping Ruth. She slept soundly as he held her to his chest and carefully ascended the stairs. Down the hallway he’d yet to set foot in he found her open door on the right. He walked in and set Ruth on her disheveled bed. He pulled her covers up to her chin and, noticing the moonlight cast on her face, closed the curtains of her window. When he’d become convinced she was sleeping heavily he kissed her forehead, hoping to chase away any nightmares.

He walked down the stairs just as quietly as he’d climbed them. He fell into bed with a sigh, lying on his back with his head facing away from Eddie.

He heard that low drawl next to him, “Glad you came back. Was gonna be mad as Hell if I had to come rescue you.”

 

Thursday morning passed just as the day before. Eddie got up with the children while Andy slept in. Andy woke to the sounds of Eddie dressing and showered as quickly as he could. While they prepared for the camping trip they would take that weekend Eddie was exuberant. He told Andy about a trail he and Joe and his father had made when he was a child. It wound up into the mountains and settled by a stream deep enough to swim in. 

“You sleep out there and there’s not a sound for miles.” Eddie said as he rolled two sleeping bags, “Just the stream and the bugs.”

Andy was silent as he continued packing. His smile was so wide it almost hurt. He hardly had any desire to be outdoors since Japan but right now he couldn’t wait. 

Before the kids got home Andy and Eddie cleaned the gutters they’d neglected the day before. Andy sat on the roof, going through the muck with his hands and Eddie leaned onto the the house on a ladder, collecting leaves and mud and abandoned birds’ nests in an old bucket. 

“Mama asked me to go into town today,” Eddie said, wrist-deep in gutter-muck, “She needs milk and some bread, the like. Thought I’d drag you with me.”

“Alright.”

Town was quiet, any school children who might loiter were still in class, besides, Andy had the feeling this town didn’t get much foot traffic to begin with. Eddie led him into a small grocer’s called _Johnson’s_. He wandered away from Eddie while he picked up whatever necessities Mama had asked him to. When Eddie went to check out, the grocer eyed Andy warily. 

“How ya doing, Hal?” Eddie said, giving him the opportunity to address both of them politely. 

Hal still looked at Andy with a crinkle in his nose. Eddie handed him his cash and said, “Hal, this is Captain Andrew Haldane.” Eddie sounded proud, sounded like he was daring Hal to find something unsavory in Andy, “He led my company in Japan.”

“Sir,” said Andy. 

Hal nodded and bagged their purchase, “Have a nice day,” he said quietly. 

Exiting the store, Andy leaned in and asked in a low voice, “What’s his problem?”

“Ah, never mind him.” Eddie smirked and eyed him sideways, “He’s as asiatic as the damn Nips.”

Andy didn’t like that answer, seemed to him that Eddie was making excuses, but he let it slide. Eddie began to lead them to the pickup, but as they rounded the corner, Andy saw a light click on. Eddie’s grin became mischievous, and as he turned to face Andy it became almost manic looking. 

“What?” asked Andy with some caution. 

“Can I show you something?” 

“Sure.”

Eddie took Andy by the forearm and steered them down half a block. He turned and quickly entered a shop Andy didn’t have the time to identify. When they entered, Eddie turned as if to present it to Andy, arms wide. 

It was a candy store. 

Andy gawked at the color, it looked like something out of _The Wizard of Oz._ Eddie’s smile was wide but his gestures became small. With his hands in his pockets he shoved into Andy gently,almost unnoticeably, “I used to look in here everyday after school, have Joe and Sheridan beggin’ me to get ‘em licorice or something.”

A giddy happiness filled Andy, then. Without warning to Eddie, he jogged down the technicolor isles, took things from the shelves whose colors he liked. Eddie followed him in confusion and then with obvious glee as he came to understand what Andy was doing. 

“Pick your favorite thing,” Andy said, grabbing a container full of lemon drops. “And what does Ruth like?” 

“Chewy things.” Eddie tossed him two pieces of bubble gum, each individually wrapped in yellow, blue, and pink. 

They both scoured the isles and when they were done they had enough to nearly fill an entire bag. 

“Mama might kill you for this,” Eddie’s face portrayed no regret, however, “all this sugar.”

Andy shrugged as the clerk rang him up and didn’t pay attention to the skeptical look he gave them. “We’ll ration it.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. 

By the time they both walked up the driveway with the groceries for Mama, Eddie and Andy chewed on something sweet that stained their mouths red. Andy had rolled up the brown paper bag that held the sweets and hid it behind his back. As if the kids wouldn’t see right through that. 

There was a small, infinitesimal moment in which Andy and Eddie walked through the house unnoticed. They’d almost reached the kitchen table when Frank spotted the bag. he couldn’t have known there was candy, but he knew it was something special. He pounced and his siblings followed suit. Andy booked it down the stairs to the sanctuary of Eddie’s room. The kids chased him and he could hear Eddie laugh loudly from the top of the stairs. 

Eddie came down the stairs to see Andy a tower with his arms raised above his head, three children trying scale him and reach the bag of treats in his hands. Eddie jogged over, pulled Frank off, as he’d nearly succeeded in taking down Andy, and took the bag from Andy’s hands. 

“If you all keep quiet about this, I’ll give you each one piece.”

(Andy snuck some to Sheridan and Joe later.)

 

That evening, Andy helped Frank with his Math homework and Eddie helped Ruth with her spelling. Andy sipped coffee quietly as he listened to the Jones family chat and bicker about wedding arrangements. Eddie excused both he and Andy shortly on account of their early day tomorrow. 

Andy could hardly sleep; most of his night was spent listening to Eddie’s breathing and placing a hand on his arm when he made a discontented noise. 

Eddie woke with the sun like he knew the dawn was coming. He was up and showered and wearing the rattiest pair of blue jeans Andy ever saw within twenty minutes. Andy did his best to keep up with him but he found he liked the shower a bit too much in the cold morning air and lost track of time. Eddie griped a bit about Andy taking too long to get ready, but because of Andy’s sluggish morning, Eddie got to kiss Ruth goodbye before they slipped out the back door. 

The sun was still low and pale in the sky and the Earth was still cool and wet from the night. As Andy followed Eddie into the woods he watched dew collect on the toes of his boots; Eddie had loaned them to him, seeing as he didn’t bring his own. The boots were in good shape and kept out the wet. Andy felt a pang of guilt when he saw that Eddie was wearing his service boots which were no doubt worn to the sole but decided to say nothing; Eddie wouldn’t have given the boots to him if he thought he couldn’t handle wearing his old ones. 

Everything Andy wore, in fact, was actually Eddie’s (save for his undershirt and briefs.) Andy wore a red flannel shirt which Eddie had insisted on and he wore a pair of Eddie’s blue jeans. He had no idea they were one of Eddie’s best. A jacket of Andy’s was tucked into his backpack which was full of camping supplies readily provided by Eddie. 

For the first 45 minutes or so the two walked in silence. Andy enjoyed the cool morning and the feeling of early sunlight prickling at his neck. As they walked he catalogued the different trees he saw, most were oaks and maples; there was the occasional conifer that Andy couldn’t name and they studded the forest with green as the rest of the leaves began to turn. The air smelled sweet with grasses and leaves and Andy delighted in the small glimpses of squirrels and other small animals he got. The light scratch of their claws on the bark of trees was unmistakable. 

He also took the time to study Eddie freely. He could see the lines of his forearm as he used a walking stick to help him along. The sun casted light on the fair hair that grew on his arms and the back of his neck. It shone on his head and gave him a halo of sorts, perpetuated by his curls. 

Eddie interrupted his observations by asking him how he was doing (he was good) and if he’d been camping before (he hadn’t) and then stating he hoped not to make his first trip his last. They held an easy conversation for the next hour but traveled the last in silence. Andy couldn’t help but be reminded of a patrol and the chatting made him more paranoid than he’d like to admit. 

Finally, Eddie seemed to find what he was looking for. He ran ahead of Andy for several yards and stopped abruptly. When Andy caught up with him, he was presented with a clear stream, flowing lazily through a thin clearing in the trees. At his side, Eddie was electrified. He shoved off his backpack and took to undoing it as fast as his fingers would let him. 

“After we set up we can swim.” he explained over his shoulder. 

“What about eating?” 

Eddie paused in his motions, “Okay, after eating.”

So, Andy helped him set up their too-small tent and lay out the sleeping bags on the floor. He also placed several folded blankets inside. Once the final peg was in place, Eddie fished in his backpack and pulled out two expertly crafted peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Andy laughed at him but Eddie extended his arm, sandwich in hand, in offering as he took a huge bite of his own. The meal only lasted precious seconds and when Eddie swallowed his last bite he grinned at Andy before stripping himself of all clothes aside from his briefs and barreling into the river with a tall jump and an obnoxious splash. Andy was flicked with specks of water but didn’t move until Eddie resurfaced, flinging his hair off his forehead. His giggling was so light and cheerful, it made Eddie look like a boy. Andy found himself promising someone (perhaps himself, perhaps whatever part of the universe that was listening) that he’d make Eddie laugh like that again. 

Andy stripped, pulling down his jeans only slightly more carefully and ridding himself of the flannel shirt which was starting to make him sweat. He dove in right beside Eddie, surfaced as quickly as possible, then dunked him with two hands on his shoulders. Before they came back up, Andy found himself propelled forward and felt a tight arm wrap around his chest. In the next moment he was lifted up and splashed backward into the water again. When he was left alone and allowed to resurface slowly, he saw Eddie laughing hysterically again. 

Seeking revenge, he pushed forward on Eddie’s chest until he lost his balance and tipped back. Andy felt smug before Eddie latched onto his waist with his fingertips and pulled him with him. For several moments Andy opened his eyes underwater to find Eddie watching him intently as each did their best to sink the other. The match was called a draw when both had to come up for air. 

Andy swam to the bank and hoisted himself out, laid down on his back with his feet still licked by the water. His smile was soft as he let himself catch his breath. Eddie came up next to him and settled on his hip. He looked down at Andy who had his arms stretched above his head. The gaze made Andy feel strangely vulnerable; he didn’t think that was possible in front of his Lieutenant. 

Eddie’s gaze drifted from his face to his chest to his stomach. He shifted forward and slowly, delicately traced from Andy’s collarbone to the bottom of his sternum. Andy couldn’t read Eddie’s face; it was almost reverent, but that wasn’t quite the word. 

“Sorry,” said Eddie, taking his hand away, “I want…” Andy wasn’t sure if Eddie even realized he was talking. He grabbed Eddie’s raised wrist firmly. 

“What do you want, Eddie?” His voice was quiet, even to himself. He released Eddie’s wrist. 

Eddie looked at him. His eyes were blank and his mouth was slack. He placed his hand on the other side of Andy and shifted over him. Eddie said nothing, only lowered his head and placed a single, soft kiss to the place his hand had just been. 

Eddie’s lips were wet when he raised his head to look at Andy. 

Andy thought he could feel every drop of water as each streamed across his body. As Eddie shifted up and hung over him droplets from his hair landed on Andy’s forehead. He had no idea what to do; he felt feverish and paralyzed and strangely giddy. He could only think of each path being forged across his skin.

Eddie decided for him, lowering himself down and kissing Andy square on the mouth. Eddie’s lips were soft and warm; the pressure he put on Andy was grounding. He lifted and looked to Andy but Andy felt frozen and only stared. Eddie sat up and rose on his knees as if to leave him. 

In his motions he looked uncertain, guilty. He said, “Skipper–”

“Don’t,” Andy said, sitting up, Eddie paused, “Please, my name is Andy.”

Eddie looked uncertain again. He softly said, “Andy.”

Andy touched his shoulder and kissed him as gently as he knew how. 

Eddie kissed him back and it was sweet and aching, his fingers curled around Andy’s arms like he was afraid he might float away. When Andy made to pull back, Eddie clutched him tighter, pressed himself into Andy harder. Andy responded by carding his fingers through Eddie’s wet curls and stroking the hinge of his jaw with his thumb. 

Andy rested his forehead against Eddie’s, catching his breath and refusing to open his eyes. Not yet. He still had his hands in Eddie’s hair and Eddie gripped both of his wrists. 

“Eddie–”

“Give me a minute.”

Andy huffed a little laugh as he imagined Eddie’s face screwed up in concentration. 

“I’ve wanted that since before I was your Lieutenant.” Eddie said, breathing sharply through his nose. 

Andy pried open his eyes and took time to watch Eddie’s fingers adjust their grip on his wrists. Without thinking he lowered his head and kissed Eddie’s fingers. Eddie made a little noise in response, something surprised and aborted in his throat. The sound made Andy brave and he turned Eddie’s arm to kiss the inside of his wrist. He peered up and saw the flush painting Eddie’s cheeks and felt a strong urge to kiss them too, to see how warm they’d be under his lips, but he settled for reaching out to hug Eddie to him. He held Eddie around his waist and tucked his face into the crook of his neck. Eddie seemed shocked or perhaps caught; he became rigid before sighing and slumping against Andy, his hands coming up to thread through his hair. 

“Come on,” Andy said after a minute, “Let’s get cleaned up.”

Eddie made a disgruntled noise and only moved when Andy stood and picked up all of their clothes. He followed Andy into their tent where he was taking a towel out of his back pack. 

“Here,” Andy said, taking Eddie by the forearm, “Sit down.”

Eddie sat obediently and didn’t say anything as Andy began to move. He took the towel in his hand, gently guided Eddie’s arm toward him, and began wiping the dirt and grime off of Eddie’s skin, using the towel to softly massage at the muscles there. 

“Still gotta take care of everyone, don’cha, Ack Ack?” Eddie murmured softly, watching Andy work. 

Andy didn’t respond but began laughing quietly.

“What?”

Andy glanced up at Eddie without stopping, “You’re just too big for this tent.”

Eddie kicked at him noncommittally.

Andy’s motions moved from Eddie’s arm to the other and then up to his shoulders and chest. He motioned for Eddie to turn around, to which Eddie grumbled something about not needing this, but Andy ignored him. He wanted to do this, wanted to care for Eddie, wanted to feel him too. He took his time cleaning and massaging Eddie’s back, moving at last to rub the back of his neck. He continued until Eddie visibly relaxed and let out a low sigh. 

He slowed his movements to a stop and Eddie turned back to face him. They sat, mirror images, cross-legged. 

“Can–” Andy stumbled, “Can I kiss you again?”

Eddie nodded just once and Andy surged forward, this kiss deeper than the one outside. He felt Eddie’s calloused hands at his jaw and his waist. He heard Eddie’s intake of breath and felt his satisfied hum against his mouth. 

Eddie pulled back with shallow kisses and reached for Andy’s towel. He held Andy’s hand and began circling his wrist with it, going as far as to massage Andy’s hand. 

“You don’t have–”

Eddie silenced him with a look and continued his work, humming a hymn Andy couldn’t name. 

As he moved to Andy’s shoulders and neck his humming trailed off. His movements became more methodical and his expression changed to one of concentration. Andy took the time to look at him, the small hairs that made up his brows, the slight crook in his nose, probably reminiscent of a break.

Eddie must’ve noticed the blank stare, “You alright there?” one of his brows curved up.

“Yeah,” said Andy, going back to watch Eddie’s hand, “You’re just–I like the way you look.”

Eddie tucked his chin down; to be honest, it made Andy embarrassed too, but he wanted to be candid with Eddie.

“Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s only fair you get a good look at me,” Eddie twisted Andy's shoulders until he turned around, “I could look at you all I wanted in country, you being the Captain and all.”

Andy felt himself blush and knew it would creep around the back of his neck. When he heard Eddie giggle, he was assured. 

Eddie finished cleaning Andy at the small of his back, then rested his forehead to the base of Andy’s neck. 

 

That night they slept in their usual arrangement: Eddie curled into himself with Andy doing his best to give him room. Andy slept heavily until Eddie began to move. His head thrashed from side to side and one arm reached out to clutch at something that wasn’t there. A stunted shout came from his mouth and Andy threw out any gentility he may have offered in favor of shaking Eddie awake. 

He sat up and nearly collided with Andy. He gripped his arms and Andy had to keep from wincing at the pain. Andy waited for Eddie to come back to himself before wiping his curls off his forehead, damp with sweat.

“Here?”

Eddie nodded and licked his lips, looking off at nothing. Andy guided them back down and curled himself around Eddie’s back, pressed in as tightly as he could. Really, Eddie was too big for Andy to cover him, but Eddie seemed to calm, nonetheless.

After several minutes of silence, Andy began to drift into sleep. Eddie took a breath and said, “They’re about you.”

Andy hummed in question. 

“The nightmares,” Eddie elaborated, “they’re all about you and the day you got hit.”

Andy wrapped his arms tighter around Eddie and shushed him when he thought he might speak again.

“I made it,” he said, “so did you. That’s all there is.”

Andy fell asleep before he was sure if Eddie slept as well; when he woke he remembered none of his dreams. Eddie snoozed lightly next to him, spread out like Andy knew he would be. Andy thought about waking him but Eddie’s face was blank, none of the usual worry lines present. His arms were flung out and Andy was tempted to run his fingers along the line of the insides of them. He remembered vividly seeing Eddie sleep in Gloucester and Peleliu, how Eddie had looked younger somehow when he took reprieve from the noise and the carnage. He felt the same swell of protectiveness rise in his gut he had felt then. In country, Andy had been sure the protectiveness stemmed from his place as Captain, from the responsibility of leading a company. Now, he wasn't sure. Certainly, he loved Eddie as one of his men, one of his officers. But if he had met Eddie another way, would he have still grown to love him as he has? Love him for his wit and ingenuity, for his intelligence and heart? When Eddie stirred and Andy got to watch him wake peacefully, he decided he didn’t care, he was grateful for this regardless. 

They spent the morning floating lazily down the river. Andy tried to see how high he could climb a maple (not without Eddie’s egging him on). He waved at Eddie from a branch he was fairly certain could hold his weight and kicked his legs like a kid. Honestly, he felt boyish, out here with his best friend, no job, no chores. 

At lunch they cooked over a fire. Andy was afraid things would be different now, that Eddie would be shy or expect something of him. But it wasn’t. They talked and joked. Eddie got Andy laughing so hard he had to gasp for breath. Afterward they laid in the grass, shoulders touching, Andy absently tugging out tufts. 

“You knew for that long?” he blurted out.

“Hmm?” Eddie looked at him, “I knew what?”

“You knew that you…” Andy paused, “You wanted to kiss me for that long?”

Eddie didn’t speak for a long moment; Andy feared he’d overstepped. 

“Yes.” Eddie said, like he’d just decided, “I wanted to kiss you before my commission.”

Andy stayed silent, thinking about how long the wait must have been. When Eddie spoke again, Andy jumped a little it’d been quiet for so long. 

“Did you know?” he asked, “I mean, that you wanted to kiss me?”

Andy pulled out a rather large wad of grass and didn’t look at Eddie, “I knew there was something,” he said slowly, “I guess over there it felt like camaraderie, or at least, I thought it did.” He felt Eddie freeze next to him, like he was afraid of what he’d say, “I knew I wanted to be with you, no matter the circumstances. I’m not sure it dawned on me until yesterday.”

Andy reached across himself and ran his fingers down the inside of Eddie’s arm.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

Eddie nodded.

Andy ran his hand back up and turned on his side to kiss Eddie’s shoulder. He kissed his collarbone and then his neck. Eddie inhaled and brought his hand to Andy’s hip to pull him closer. It felt good but made Andy nervous so he nestled his head under Eddie’s chin and closed his eyes. He felt Eddie’s fingers flit through his hair a moment later. He felt Eddie’s lips on the top of his head. 

While the sun set Eddie dipped back into the water, pulled at Andy’s ankles to try and get him in. Andy feigned protest for only a moment before Eddie devilishly ran a hand up his calf. Andy gasped and Eddie grinned; Andy couldn’t help it, he fisted both hands in Eddie’s curls and kissed him. Eddie’s hands stroked up his sides, under his shirt. The sensations of Eddie’s warmth and the chill of the water mixed and made Andy shiver. Andy meant to fall into the water, to kiss him more but Eddie must’ve had other plans because he shoved at Andy and dipped his head to kiss at the inside of his knee, the insides of his thighs. Andy made a small noise, and he felt Eddie’s smile press into his skin. 

He decided to slide into the water anyway. He shoved at Eddie’s shoulders and Eddie laughed wholeheartedly, pulled at Andy by the forearms. They did their best to wrestle each other in the water and mostly succeeded in waring each other out. By the time night came, they were sitting by the fire, breathing heavy as anything. They ate in relative silence and Andy took the opportunity to watch Eddie’s curls come back as his hair dried.

He stood up from where he was sitting across from Eddie and moved to sit beside him, shoulder to shoulder. Eddie was staring at the fire, not in thought probably. Probably not thinking at all from the way his eyes followed the flicking of the flames. The light made his features sharper than they really were; Andy wished he looked happier. He pressed into him very slightly. 

“I wish you were staying.” said Eddie, looking down. 

“I’m here through Monday.” Andy watched Eddie’s hands. 

“What are you gonna do when you go home?”

Andy shrugged and frowned, “Work with my father, like I have been,” he said. “Help my mother plant rutabagas,” he ducked his head to catch Eddie’s eye, “Write you.”

Eddie breathed out a laugh and looked directly at Andy, “Then you’ll be at the wedding.”  It was hard to tell if he was asking for reassurance or reminding himself.

“Yeah, the wedding.” Andy pictured Sheridan in white, walking down the isle of a church. It would be beautiful. “I noticed you were happy when Sheridan invited me.”

“Couldn’t help it, a whole excuse to see you. And I didn’t even have to think it up.” 

Andy sat on the ground. “What are _you_ gonna do while I’m gone?”

“Oh,” Eddie pretended to muse, “I’m not sure what I’ll be able to do when all my time’ll be spent crying after you. Pining takes a lot of energy.” He looked like a little shit with that grin. And still it managed to put a pang in Andy’s chest.

He kicked him in the shin but still said, “I’ll miss you, too.” 

For several minutes Andy watched Eddie look at the fire, seemingly oblivious to Andy’s staring. Andy let his gaze wander up and became taken with what he saw. Andy had stargazed before, went outside the city limits with his family to sit and stare at the white dots in the black. They’d reminded Andy of the curtains in his brother’s room, where mice had chewed pinpricks through them. Even in Japan he’d managed to watch the night sky when the ground wasn’t fucking exploding. 

But Eddie was right, this hemisphere… Andy hadn’t seen anything like it. The night was black, felt like a blanket. And the stars were little blots of milk that shined so bright, Andy was surprised he and Eddie weren’t bathed in their light. 

“Told you ours was better.”

 

Upon their return Eddie received a giggling and tangled Ruth in his arms and Andy was offered a coffee. He gladly accepted. Mama asked them how their time had been and Pop was interested in their campgrounds, if it was the same as always or if it had somehow changed. 

John tugged at Eddie and told him he’d better sing to Ruthie tonight, that she didn’t sleep well without him.

“I couldn’t!” Ruth defended herself, “I can’t sleep without a lullaby.”

“Don’t worry about it now,” Eddie shushed his siblings, “I’m here tonight.”

Now on the double, Andy slept curled on his side with Eddie curled around him. Both slept through the night.

 

When it came time for Andy to leave, Eddie dressed in the same clothes he’d worn to pick him up. Andy had packed and said goodbye to the Jones family in the family room, all lined up like they were taking a picture. He shook hands with Pop and Joe, hugged Mama and Sheridan, who reminded him to come back in a month. He wished her luck. He saluted to John and Frank and knelt down to let Ruth hug him around the neck. 

“Keep him company for me,” he nodded to Eddie and Ruth nodded back eagerly. “Attagirl.”

Eddie drove him in the pick up. Andy thought about their goodbye, the one they couldn’t share. There’d been a moment in the basement in which Andy had pressed his head down onto Eddie’s chest and then nosed at his temple sweetly. Eddie had caught his head and held him harshly, saying nothing but silently willing Andy to be still. Eyes closed, they’d stayed there for some time, not long enough. Eddie had come forward to kiss Andy roughly, only melting into Andy’s soft warmth when he’d run his fingers through his hair. Andy’d had to straighten his shirt from the wrinkles made by Eddie’s fists. Andy wondered if he’d been angry. 

The goodbye at the station was a handshake that pulled into a brief hug. 

A nod, “Captain.”

“Lieutenant.”

The whistle was near deafening. Andy watched Eddie from his window until the train rounded a corner and he couldn’t be seen. Absent-mindedly, he ran his fingertips over the pink welts on his hands. 

 


	3. The Wedding

_Dear Hillbilly,_

_I cannot describe to you what a wonderful time I had with you and your family. Your parents were more than welcoming and your siblings were each kind and a pleasure to be with. Please extend my thanks to your mother._

_I’m grateful Sheridan invited me to her wedding. It’s an honor and I’m more than happy to have an excuse to visit again. I’m so eager, in fact, I am writing to you from the train home. I don’t think you can criticize me however; there’s nothing to do here and I have nothing to think about but you. And you are not something I mind thinking about._

_I hope you are well and I hope you reply soon._

_Sincerely,_

_Captain A. A. Haldane_

 

_P.S. Will you be in the wedding? If so, as what?_

 

 

_Ack Ack,_

_I’m glad to hear you enjoyed yourself during your visit. I can tell you my parents were happy to meet you and Mama is grateful for the help you offered. You’re right, I don’t criticize you for writing on the train, rides are boring as Hell._

_Joe is constantly asking me to tell him about our adventures overseas. I don’t know what to say to him._

_Ruth won’t stop talking about you either. I think she’s smitten, but that I’ll forgive her for._

_I am in the wedding. We all are. I will be one of Rob’s groomsmen._

_I hope you are well and extend my hello to your family._

_Sincerely,_

_Lieutenant E. Jones_

 

 

_Dear Hillbilly,_

_I hope this letter finds you well and I am sorry for replying later than anticipated. Life has been moving faster than expected._

_I suggest you tell Joe the truth. There’s no need to be cruel but there’s no need to shelter him from it either. He’ll be one less person to think we’re something we’re not. I could use more of those. Here I have people greeting me and thanking me for my service, calling me outrageous things, like hero. People I have never met calling me a hero. Certainly, I believe our cause was just, but every time I am thanked I can’t help but think of someone I didn’t bring home, some family who wouldn’t want to thank me._

_Of course, I share this with no one. It is easier to simply accept the thanks._

_I have to tell you, I think Ruth may be my favorite Jones._

_Send my regards to your family._

_Sincerely,_

_Captain A. A. Haldane_

 

 

_Dear Andy,_

_Your letter arrived at a fine time. The wedding has my entire house turned upside down. I’m never without something to do._

_Whether or not we are heroes seems moot to me. As a Captain in the U.S. Marines, you performed your duty to the letter, namely your duty to not die. Asking any more of someone is ludicrous._

_Separately, I’ll let you know that John broke his arm this past week. He still won’t tell anyone how it happened. I have a suspicion that Frank knows, but neither has anything to say. With the break, John is in a considerable amount of pain, but we are doing our best to keep him occupied._

_Sincerely,_

_Eddie Jones_

 

_P.S. Sheridan wants me to have a date to bring to her wedding. She’ll be disappointed I’m only bringing you._

 

 

_Dear Eddie,_

_I’m sorry to hear about John. I broke my leg when I was near his age. I hope he recovers quickly._

_My mother has asked me several times now why I haven’t gone out with any girls here. I think her concern comes more from my being alone so much as opposed to my lack of romantic relationships._

_Your friend,_

_Andrew Haldane_

 

_P.S. Sorry to be a source of disappointment to Sheridan. Not sorry enough to encourage you to get a date._

 

 

_Dear Andy,_

_Your mother is right, you shouldn’t be alone. You deserve better. What is your answer when she asks why you don’t go out?_

_I have only been on a handful of dates and all of them were before I left for basic. Mama has never seemed concerned. If Pop ever was, he never said so to me._

_Ruth has a cold this week, to add to the madness. I’m afraid I might be catching it as well. Times like these make me wish I could hop on a train and come to you._

_Yours,_

_Eddie Jones_

 

 

_Eddie,_

_I can’t tell you how excited I am to be joining you and your family next week. The 23rd has been circled on my calendar for weeks and I have my train ticket ready. The more time passes the more I wish I was with you. I am almost certainly the most at ease in your company._

_And of course, I’m very excited for Sheridan and Rob._

_Don’t worry, a lot of my time is taken up by work and as far as I’m concerned, after all we did, I’m entitled to some leisure time. I would never say that to my mother, but I can think it. Mostly, I only tell her that I am tired and would rather stay in. I did, however, go on a date with a local girl for my mother’s sake. She was very pretty and I enjoyed our time together. Still, I found her lacking in comparison to our trip. Perhaps it is an unfair comparison to make._

_A kitten has been following me to and from work everyday for the past several weeks. A tiny black thing. I’ve been setting out bits of food for it. I’m afraid of what will happen when I leave. I’ll keep you posted._

_Yours always,_

_Andy Haldane_

 

_P.S. I’m bringing a suit and tie as well as my dress blues. I’m not sure which your family would prefer._

 

The train ride took too long and the sun began to set before Andy was an hour from the Jones household. His leg bounced in anticipation, much to the annoyance of the elderly gentleman seated next to him. Andy stilled and smiled apologetically when the gentleman side-eyed him. On occasion, Andy thought about how people would treat him differently in these situations if they knew. He knew it was bullshit, that he was just a someone, but there were people who bent over backward to please Captain Haldane. A Captain found respect anywhere, even where he didn’t deserve it. Captain Haldane was someone Andy kept in his pocket and only pulled out when someone saw him first. When someone recognized him and asked to talk to him, not knowing that Andy had to go through the trouble of taking him out and dusting him off. 

But on the train he was Andy, wearing slacks and a faded cotton shirt and suspenders two generations old. Entirely comfortable in letting people glare at him. 

He pitched his now unoccupied leg forward and accidentally kicked his bag. Looking for something to do, he opened it and checked its contents for the tenth time that day. He’d brought small gifts for everyone. He hoped the Jones would like them and not think he was overstepping. 

When he sat up the low sun nearly blinded him, but in the next several minutes it was gone entirely and the sky was made a deep blue. This was Andy’s favorite time of day, after the sun and before the stars. The earth was painted in milky blues and Andy was calmed by them. He closed his eyes.

The whistle and the jolt woke him. He didn’t understand where he was and for one wild moment he thought he was on the train home from California. But the train station outside the window was more welcoming than any other he’d seen. 

This time Eddie had no cigarette and he didn’t try to hide his smile. He saw Andy, walked forward, and hugged him tightly for just a moment. Andy smiled into his neck and resisted threading his hand through the hair at the nape of his neck. 

On the drive home Andy smoked one of Eddie’s cigarettes while Eddie jabbered on about the family. Seeing him this animated made Andy’s heart rate hike up; listening to the exploits of his family made him eager to get to the house. Although, he knew the younger ones wouldn’t be awake for much longer. The thought of seeing Ruth made him smile. 

Mama and Pop were waiting on the front porch for them. Andy hugged Mrs. Jones and shook hands with Mr. Jones, who was smiling brightly at him. Eddie helped his father inside and Mama took Andy’s bag without his say so. He tried to tell her he could take it, there was no need, but she wouldn’t hear it. Andy suspected she was treating him the way she frequently treated Eddie and when he looked over his shoulder he found Eddie smiling and shaking his head at him. They shared a shrug. 

One of the bedroom doors from the hallway opened and out poured three small Joneses. Ruth led the charge and to Andy’s surprise she did not jump onto her brother. Instead, she stopped herself in front of Andy and beamed at him.

“Hello, Captain Haldane!” she opened her arms to hug Andy as he knelt in front of her. 

John and Frank were behind her, both shouting their hellos. As expected, John’s arm was in a white cast. Andy gave both of them a one-armed hug. Eddie stood next to him, smiling, and Andy thought his heart might pop. 

Mama shooed them away and walked Andy to the kitchen to get him coffee he didn’t ask for but would accept nonetheless. Accepting the cup from her, he saw Joe appear at the doorway and wave to him. He leaned forward and shook his hand. Joe asked him about his trip; Andy replied that it was fine if not long. Sheridan came to stand next to her brother but soon moved to stand by Eddie, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing into him. He held her with concern knit into his face, but said nothing. After a long moment, she breathed a sigh and let go, but did not move away. 

As Andy drank his coffee, he asked Mama how she was, how all the plans were working out.

“It’s working,” she gave her daughter a weighted look, “We’re ready, we’re just exhausted.”

“I understand,” said Andy, “when my brother was getting married it felt like he never sat still. And he was the groom.”

Sheridan laughed and Andy felt a bit lighter. 

 

That night Eddie led Andy into the basement and they sat on the foot of his made bed. Andy’s bag was at their feet. 

“Your trip was good?” asked Eddie. Andy only laughed and nodded because he knew Eddie already knew the answer. But he seemed nervous. Andy wanted to put him at ease. 

“I’m happy I’m here.” he said and touched Eddie’s shoulder. 

“I’m happy you’re here.” Eddie seemed to realize what Andy was doing. He touched his fingers to the back of Andy’s hand. 

“I brought gifts.” said Andy, cheering at Eddie’s now uplifted expression. “For everyone.”

“What’s mine?” asked Eddie with something wicked behind his eyes, “Where is it?”

Andy looked at his bag without realizing it and Eddie leapt for it. He tried to stand and unzip it but Andy was on him, doing his best to wrestle it away from him. 

“Hey!” he shouted, “You get yours with everyone else, tomorrow!” He had his arms wrapped around Eddie’s from behind; he couldn’t get a hold on the bag.

“Andrew, lower your voice,” Eddie feigned discipline, “You’re gonna wake the whole house.” He knew Andy couldn’t get to the bag and he loved it.

“Bastard.” sighed Andy as he relented. 

Eddie grinned as he let Andy take the bag, “Not a nice thing to call me.”

Andy tucked the bag under what he had come to think of as his side of the bed. He sat by the pillow there–his pillow?– and glared at Eddie with little heat. “Doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

Eddie sat beside him and said nothing for a while. He brushed a lock of hair from Andy’s eyes and kissed his forehead. Andy had forgotten what it was like to be kissed by Eddie. Little sparks ran from the spot on his forehead and he sighed into it. He reached up and pulled lightly at Eddie’s collar, wanting more but unsure of what to do, what else he could do. Eddie leaned into him and kissed him so soft and sweet Andy couldn’t help the low noise that escaped him. Andy kissed him again, unafraid of pushing his luck. He felt Eddie smile. 

 

Andy had come into town on a Thursday with the wedding on Saturday. Friday found the house nearly empty; Sheridan and her parents were gone most of the day. Joe and Eddie had chores to get done around the house and the littles had school until three. 

Andy stepped into the kitchen where Eddie was lying on his back, under the sink.

“So do I wear my suit and tie or dress blues?” he called.

“I’m wearing my dress blues,” said Eddie, voice slightly strained from the work he was doing, “I’d be mighty appreciative if you’d do the same. I hate being the only one wearing ‘em.” 

Andy nodded.

“People look at me different,” Eddie continued. 

“Yeah, okay.” Andy agreed and kicked at one of Eddie’s boots. 

Eddie pushed forward and sat up, rested his forearms on his knees, “You doing okay?” he slapped Andy’s leg with the rag he was holding, “Sorry I’m not much company.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Andy smiled down at him, “I like being here, doesn't matter what I do.”

Eddie squeezed the back of his calf in reassurance. 

“I have to finish this and rake, but after that I’m all yours.”

“Do you need any help with that?”

“Nah,” Eddie replied, “You’d probably just slow me down anyway,” he winked. “Why don’t you go downstairs and read or something. I’ll be along as soon as I can.”

“Okay,” Andy smirked, “not a bad idea.”

Eddie returned to the sink and left Andy to make his way downstairs. He thought about reading like Eddie suggested, but he only made it through a chapter of a book before he was bored again. Sitting in Eddie’s room, he became curious. The room was sectioned off from the rest of the basement and had only Eddie’s bed, a dresser, and a small desk on the adjacent wall. He decided Eddie wouldn’t mind his snooping. Or if he did, he’d make up for it later. 

The desk was mostly empty. Andy found a few pads of lined paper, envelopes and notecards in a drawer, and a bible. Andy rifled through the dresser but found nothing of consequence. 

It didn’t make sense that Eddie wouldn’t have any personal effects. There were no pictures, no trinkets. It reminded Andy of a guest room. In a last effort to find something interesting, Andy ducked down to peer under Eddie’s bed, past the bedskirt. 

There it was. A small box, unmarked, and very suspicious looking. 

Andy sat on the edge of the bed with the box in his lap. He opened it and found it full. Some items, he was surprised to find, he recognized. Eddie’s dog tags were tucked into a corner, his Purple Heart was there, sheathed safely in its case, and a picture of his family he carried in theater was there as well. Among the things Andy didn’t recognize were: a picture of a young man holding an infant, obviously taken without his immediate knowledge (it took Andy almost a full minute to understand that this was a picture of Eddie and Ruth), a ticket stub to some event Andy couldn’t read, a small, brown glass bottle with the label torn off, and an obituary clipped from a newspaper. Eddie didn’t recognize the name of the man mentioned. 

Below all of these things was something else Andy realized he knew. Placed back in their envelopes and tied together with string, were each of the letters Andy had sent Eddie. The letters he sent before his first visit, as well as the ones in between. His heart swelled in his chest. Eddie had hidden these away, afraid of anyone finding them, and still took so much care to keep them well. Andy had thrown away his letters. He hadn’t wanted to, but he was too afraid to keep them.

Carefully, he placed each item back in the box as he’d found it and hid it all under the bed. Andy picked up his book and began reading again, but found it all too difficult to concentrate. 

 

Sheridan, Eddie, Mama, and Pop all had to attend the rehearsal dinner, which left Andy and Joe to feed the younger three dinner. Mama assured them they didn’t need anything huge, they’d eat sandwiches. 

“Before the dinner,” Andy spoke up, “I have something I want to do.”

Mama and Pop looked confused but Eddie smirked at everyone, happy to know something they didn’t. Andy excused himself and disappeared into the basement. A moment later he returned with his bag. 

“I hope, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, you don’t mind,” he prefaced, “but I brought gifts for everyone.”

Mama and Pop both looked at a loss for words. In fact, the whole clan, spread out over the kitchen looked shocked, save for Eddie, Ruth, and John, who were excited and leaning forward. 

“Mrs. Jones, I thought I’d start with you,” Andy was nervous as he pulled out the first small package, wrapped in brown paper. “That’s if you don’t mind.”

Mama looked at him and shook her head no, “That’s perfectly fine, Andy.” 

She was quiet but Andy noticed her smile as she ripped at the paper. She pulled out a long knitted scarf with reds and pinks woven throughout. She examined it with an awed expression. 

“My mother loves to knit, I described you and your home to her and she made this for you. I… hope you like it.” Andy felt his stomach flutter. 

“It’s beautiful,” said Mama, “Thank you, tell your mother I said thank you.” Andy thought she sounded sincere, even touched. 

Andy cycled through the rest and felt his stomach unclench little by little with each one. He swore, he was never this nervous in country. Maybe it was just a different kind of nerves. 

Mr. Jones received a leather belt, Joe a pair of dress shoes, which Andy promised were exchangeable if they didn’t fit correctly. Andy gifted John and and Frank each a brand new baseball mitt and two new baseballs. Both boys thanked him and looked at each other's mitts, comparing them in excited voices. 

“Ruth,” Andy turned when it came her turn. She was pitched as far forward as she could be, her smile stretched wide, “I found this especially for you.”

He handed Ruth a small brown package. The moment it was in her hands she ripped and pulled at it. Andy looked over at Eddie, who was laughing and watching his sister. Andy thought he looked so tender. 

Ruth unearthed a box made of a warm wood. It was painted on the top, a portrait of a woman with long hair in a flowing gown. Ruth giggled and turned the thing over in her hands, “It’s so pretty!” 

“Open it,” encouraged Andy. 

As she did her eyes became huge. A figurine popped up from the box, a ballerina turning in arabesque. Soft, tinging, music floated from it and Ruth watched in quiet awe as a small hammer hit notches on rotating belts. She could see the music being made. 

Andy was so enamored watching Ruth, he jumped when he heard Mama say, “Andy, it’s beautiful. Thank you.” She looked grateful and warm and seemingly resigned about something. Andy wondered what.

“Jones,” Andy said and watched Eddie straighten automatically, “you better like this.”

Andy was pretty sure Eddie was surprised he wasn’t saved for last, but Andy knew he’d forgive him. Handing of the gift, their fingers brushed lightly and Eddie looked like he’d done it on purpose. 

Eddie opened a wrist watch, with leather strap and a face set in silver. He held it in both hands and looked at Andy with disbelief. Andy’s smile nearly hurt. 

“Skipper–” Eddie stopped himself, he always reverted to rank when he was nervous, “Andy, I don’t know what to say. I can’t keep–”

“Yes, you can. I’ll make you.”

Eddie ducked his head and grinned. “Thank you.”

Andy watched Eddie fasten it around his wrist.

“Sheridan,” said Andy, “I hope you don’t mind. I saved yours for last.”

“That’s certainly fine,” she answered softly. 

Andy was proud of her gift. It costed more than the others, but he was sure it was worth it when she opened it an clasped her hand over her mouth. 

“Oh, Andy…” She held it up, a necklace with a fine silver chain and a single pearl hanging from a silver setting. “It’s beautiful.”

She got up from her seat at the table and hugged him. Andy held her tightly; he was surprised how quickly he’d taken to Sheridan, how much he liked her and wanted her to like him. 

“Thank you,” she said a moment before letting go. 

Mama helped her clasp the necklace around her neck and fixed her hair.

As everyone got ready to either go to the dinner or prepare the children for supper at home, Pop pulled Andy aside. 

“Son, that was a fine thing to do,” he began.

“I hope I’m not overstepping,” Andy spoke too quickly, “I–I wanted to treat you all.”

Pop held up his hand and a smile came to his face, “It was a fine thing to do.”

Andy nodded, the words sinking in, “Thank you, sir.”

Andy and Joe stayed in the kitchen and made ham sandwiches for the three youngest. When Joe stepped out to get them, Eddie swiftly took his place. He wore a dark gray suit for the dinner and his hair was parted. Andy was about to quip about his appearance when Eddie grabbed him by the front of his shirt, checked behind him, and backed Andy into the wall. Out of view from the rest of the house, Eddie kissed him. It was harsh and rough and it sent lightning through Andy. Without thinking, he clasped his hands around Eddie’s neck and dragged his fingernails around it. Eddie gasped against his mouth and broke the kiss. 

“Shit,” Andy touched the scratches he’d made and Eddie quickly checked behind him. 

“Don’t worry, no one’ll notice,” Eddie straightened Andy’s shirt. “Even if they do, that was worth it.” He pecked a kiss to his cheekbone. 

Andy made sure to look as if he wasn’t pleased. Of course, the opposite was true, the red lines on Eddie’s neck oddly making him proud. 

 

Dinner was easy and the food was finished quickly; everyone stayed long afterward to talk. Joe thanked Andy again and assured him that the shoes fit. Andy was glad to hear so. When John and Frank heard talk of the presents they began discussing when they would get to use their gifts. They wanted to tomorrow but Joe told them they’d be too busy with the wedding. Ruth bragged that her gift had been especially picked out for her; Andy thought perhaps he shouldn’t have told her that. 

Joe stood up and said, “John, Frank, both of you have homework to do, don’t you?”

“It’s the weekend!” protested John. 

“Yeah, we don’t have to do it tonight,” said Frank.

“You ain’t gonna have time tomorrow, believe me,” replied Joe easily, “Get to it.”

With somewhat slumped shoulders both boys left for their room. 

“Ruth, you gotta get ready for bed, darlin’,” Joe began collecting the dishes to run them under the sink. 

“But what about Eddie?” asked Ruth, “He’s not here to sing to me.”

Joe seemed to become more tired then, “You’re just gonna have to do without.”

“But I can’t do that–”

“Ruth, Eddie ain’t gonna be back until late–”

“I can do it,” offered Andy, “would that be okay?” he turned to Ruth. 

Ruth examined him skeptically and then eyed her brother who looked as if he expected something of her. “Okay,” she decided, “I can do that.”

Ruth went to wash her face before bed; her mother would make her bathe in the morning before the ceremony. Joe thanked Andy as they cleaned the kitchen together. 

“I like Ruth,” Andy smiled, “besides, I feel like I gotta start pulling my weight around here.”

Ruth went down easily once she explained her routine to Andy. He wasn’t sure what to sing, or even if he could sing. He settled on a hymn, _Come Thou Fount,_ and Ruth seemed to enjoy it. He was sure he didn’t sound as good as Eddie, especially with no guitar. But Ruth was sleepy, and she was breathing deep and even by the time Andy was done. 

 

Andy woke on the couch to the sound of Mama, Pop, Eddie, and Sheridan filing into the house. He rubbed at his face; he hadn’t even realized he’d fallen asleep.

“Why don’t you head downstairs,” Eddie said to him, “I’ll be down soon.”

“Yeah, uhm,” Andy couldn’t quite get his bearings, “I need a cigarette.”

Eddie smirked and rummaged around to find his pack.

“Don’t bother, I got my own.”

On the back porch, Andy laid on his back. He was exhausted and anxious for tomorrow and he couldn’t quite organize his thoughts but he felt slightly bothered about something. He couldn’t figure out what. 

His eyes were closed but he heard the back door open and felt someone sit beside him. He opened his eyes to see Eddie, but instead found Sheridan with a meek smile, looking down at him. He sat up like a bolt and she laughed at his surprise. 

“I’m only out here to think,” she said, “same as you.”

“Yeah,” Andy’s voice was soft, “you thinking about tomorrow?”

“Mhmm,” Sheridan nodded and looked at the floor between them. 

“Nervous?”

“Oh, yes,” Sheridan laughed, although it did not sound happy, “terrified more like.”

“Terrified?” Andy ducked his head to meet her eyes. 

Sheridan didn’t speak for a long time. She watched Andy, as if considering him for the first time. Suddenly, she spoke, “Can I confide something in you?”

He hadn’t expected this, but he couldn’t come up with a legitimate reason to deny her.

“Yeah,” Andy replied, even as his gut twisted, “yeah, sure.”

Sheridan let out a breath, “I love Rob,” she said, “and I’m happy, I am.” There was another long pause, “But when he asked me to marry him I didn’t really think, I just said yes,” she continued, “I don’t think I realized it was real until now.”

Andy was unsure of what to say. Nerves before a wedding must’ve been normal, expected, but he had no idea how to quell them himself. 

“You don’t think any less of me, do you?” Sheridan asked in a quick breath, “I mean, I really do love him. And I think we’ll be happy together,” there were the nerves again, “but marriage suddenly seems so big.”

“Marriage is big.” Andy took a drag from his cigarette, “But from what I can tell it’s a pretty good deal. Most folks I know would recommend it.” He smirked sideways at her. 

Sheridan brightened only to dull slowly, “But what if…” she started, “what if it doesn’t work? I mean, what if I can’t do what I’m supposed to, love him like I’m supposed to?” Her voice wavered. 

And smoked again and thought for a while. He wanted to encourage her and he wanted to be as honest as possible. Then again, Andy had no experience in this field. 

At last, he said, “Love, I think, especially romantic love, works best if you think of it as an action–not a feeling.” He tried to gauge Sheridan’s reaction, “I mean, not every day of your marriage will be good and somedays you might not _feel_ like you love Rob.” She looked worried so he continued as quickly as he could, “But it’s the dedication, the decision to stay and work with him that counts.”

Sheridan said nothing. Andy continued smoking to quiet his stomach. Why would she confide in him? He obviously had no idea what he was doing. He was almost finished with his cigarette when Sheridan spoke again, so loud and sure he jumped. 

“Can I have a drag?”

Andy was astounded. He sat in silence with the cigarette hanging from his lips and she didn’t look away, didn’t flinch.

“Uh, yeah sure,” his speech was slow, “I’m about done with it anyway.”

He handed the thing to Sheridan and watched her suck in the smoke. She only coughed twice when she breathed out.

“Thanks,” she handed it back and kissed his cheek before rising and returning to the house. Andy took one more drag, stubbed it out, and walked inside. 

 

The wedding was held at the only Methodist church for several miles, the one Sheridan had grown up in. The ceremony was small and short. Andy was allowed to sit in the front pew next to Mrs. Jones to his amazement. Eddie had been truthful, every sibling was involved in the ceremony somehow. Joe played the piano for the processional, Eddie, as he said, was one of two groomsmen, John was the ring bearer while Frank helped wheel Mr. Jones down the isle, and Ruth was the flower girl. Her hair was brushed and curled by her mother; she kept looking behind her to see if her sister was following.

Sheridan was a vision. Her dress was certainly beautiful, but her smile was enamoring. It seemed as if light was coming from her, and although it was near impossible to look away from her, she looked nowhere but at Rob. 

Eddie watched his sister with a wide and unashamed smile. He and Andy were the only two there in uniform. Andy knew Eddie wasn’t exactly comfortable wearing it; it did attract more attention than the usual suit. But despite himself, he was pleased. He’d seen Eddie in every state of uncoordinated, unpolished, and dirty disarray; seeing him clean and bright was something of a treat. 

The reception dinner was good, but Andy was seated away from Eddie. He spent most of the meal making unappealing but polite small talk and waiting until he could approach Eddie. A small band was hired and people were encouraged to dance, Andy couldn’t bring himself to do it. He’d never bothered with dances to begin with, only went when he was invited directly by the host or his mother begged him to. The majority of his dance partners had been sweet but nervous girls who Andy’d felt bad about having no interest in. 

He didn’t feel bad here. He sat with Eddie at the far end of the room, not talking, just drinking what was available and making sure they didn’t drift too near. Some time in the night they went out to smoke. The room had been hot with so many people and their cheeks were flushed against the cool air; there was almost no light aside from the burning tips of the cigarettes. Eddie reached over and squeezed Andy’s wrist but otherwise didn’t move. 

Coming back inside, Ruth sprinted over to Eddie, the ribbon around her waist coming undone and trailing behind her. She pulled Eddie down so she could whisper in his ear before glancing up at Andy and worrying her lip. Eddie straightened himself and leaned into Andy. 

“She wants to dance with you,” he said in a low voice. 

“Me? Why does she–why do you wanna dance with me?” he laughed. 

Ruth looked at Eddie again. 

“She wants to dance with Prince Charming,” Eddie explained. 

Andy opened his mouth but found no words, only succeeded in looking like a fish. He looked at Ruth and then at the dance floor, crowded with couples. He caught Sheridan looking at him from her seat behind her table; she nodded at Andy, telling him to go on. He realized she must’ve encouraged Ruth to approach him. 

“Okay,” he said, “okay.”

Ruth reached her little hand up and grabbed Andy’s, led him to the dance floor. Andy wasn’t sure what to do; he tried to hold Ruth the way he’d hold any other partner but she protested.

“No, you have to bow first.”

“I do?” Andy couldn’t help but laugh again. 

“Yes,” said Ruth, obviously thinking he should already know this, “you bow and I curtsy.”

So Andy stepped back a pace, crossed one arm over his middle, the other over his back and took a deep bow. Ruth gave a little dip when he straightened. She reached for him but was of course too small to reach his shoulders. If Ruth wanted to dance with him, Andy wanted to make sure she was comfortable. 

“Here,” he took one of her hands in his and she held onto the sleeve of his other arm, “stand on my shoes.”

Ruth was unquestioning and did as Andy told her. She smiled up at him as he danced them around in circles. Andy hadn’t wanted to dance at all, but Ruth was so bright, he knew he didn’t stand a chance. He found himself smiling at her, laughing when she did. She watched their feet move together with a small amount of awe. When the song ended she hopped off and curtsied again, so Andy bowed. She bounded back to sit with her mother; Andy watched her go and nodded to Mama when she gave him a thankful smile. 

He returned to his seat with Eddie and found his friend shaking his head, the corner or his mouth quirked upward just slightly. 

“What?” asked Andy, perhaps a little embarrassed. 

“Nothing,” replied Eddie coolly, “Prince Charming.”

 

Without question, everyone shuffled into bed upon arriving home. Weddings were lovely, but they were also tiring. Andy found the most distressing part of the evening was undressing and properly folding his uniform. He fell into bed in only his briefs, hoping Eddie would understand, too tired to care if he didn’t.

They spent the morning lying in bed; it was hard to justify doing much else with Andy leaving in a few hours. Andy laid on his back with Eddie almost dozing next to him, at the very least, refusing to open his eyes. 

“I wanna tell you something,” Andy said.

Eddie only hummed. 

“I found your box.”

Eddie’s eyes flew open. Andy could see the panic there an instant before he realized Andy was no threat. After a beat he said, “What did you see?”

“Dog tags, a Purple Heart, a bottle.”

“The letters were still there I take it,” Eddie had closed his eyes again. 

“Safe and sound,” Andy reported. After working up the nerve he added, “I think it’s sweet. That you keep them, I mean.”

Eddie snarked, “Well you know me, Skipper, always sentimental.”

Andy turned onto his side to watch Eddie’s shoulders move with the rhythm of his breathing. He inched toward him and felt their knees bump together. 

Andy’s gut did a swoop before he said, “Who’s obituary is it?”

“Uhm,” Eddie squeezed his eyes tight before opening them, “George was my good friend growing up. He went to our church. He drowned when we were teenagers.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” said Eddie, “Lots of our friends have died. It’s just the way of our generation.”

Andy nodded once and Eddie rolled to the edge of his side of the bed, reached underneath the bedskirt, and pulled up the box. He opened it and fished out the obituary. 

“I was there,” he said, “when it happened.” 

Andy sat up and put a hand on his thigh, trying to walk the line between comfort and pressure. 

“He hit his head, I didn’t even know he was hurt until it was too late.”

He turned the newspaper clipping over in his hand before giving it to Andy. The picture of George was fading and a little out of focus, but the smile was unmistakable. He looked bright and so little. Andy felt old, much older than he had before the war, everyone seemed so small to him now. 

He placed the obituary back in the box and noticed that his letters had been placed on the bed. 

“Why’d you take those out?” he asked Eddie, pointing to the letters. 

“Because they were on top of everything else.”

A cold fist curled in Andy’s stomach; he felt hot pinpricks on the back of his neck. 

“Did you put them there? Have you been in there since yesterday?” He was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

“No,” Eddie looked concerned, Andy was upset but he wasn’t putting together why. “I haven’t opened this since your last letter.”

“Shit, Eddie…” Andy pushed his fingers through his hair and tugged painfully. “I put them back in the way they were.”

“What? What do you mean?” Eddie’s spine was a bolt, but he didn’t understand. Or maybe he hoped Andy was mistaken.

“I put those letters in the very bottom of the box, underneath everything else. That’s how they were when I found it,” explained Andy with growing impatience, “If you just found it with the letters displaced, and neither of us moved them…” He really didn’t want to finish his thought. 

“Shit,” said Eddie, the panic obvious in his face, “Shit, shit, Andy–”

“I–I don’t know–”

Eddie ripped off the blanket and stood; he mussed his hair and began to pace. Before he could finish the first lap Andy stood and grabbed him by the shoulders. Eddie didn’t want comfort, though. He jerked out of Andy’s touch.

“If someone read those–” Eddie didn’t look at him

“They’re not necessarily incriminating,” Andy tried. 

“Yeah fucking right–”

“We don’t even know if they’ve been read–“ 

“But if they have, Andy.” Eddie looked at him now, face sharp with fear. Anger spat out of his mouth before he seemed to suddenly surrender, give up, “Andy, what are we gonna do?”

“I don’t know.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was published late! I was without my computer until today. The next chapter will be published next Saturday.


	4. Massachusettes

Unknowing and uncaring of their fear, the 2:00 train came on time and Andy was taken away. Back to Massachusetts, back to his parents, and back to the little black kitten at his feet. He heard nothing from Eddie by way of letter or telephone, but that did little to quell Andy’s nerves. Two weeks away, he decided to write Eddie.

 

_Dear Hillbilly,_

_I hope you and your family are well. I hope Sheridan is settling well into her new married life. I was expecting to hear from you by now. Let me know of any interesting developments in your home life._

 

_Sincerely,_

_Captain A. A. Haldane_

 

Andy took the letter to the post office as an excuse to clear his head. He left it to Eddie to understand any extra formality in his speech as just a precaution. On his way back he felt the slinky motion of a cat circling his feet, and he bent down, holding out his fingers. The black kitten sniffed, made a small noise, and tucked its head beneath Andy’s palm. Scratching its chin, Andy smiled, glad to have a new friend. 

A month away from Eddie, he’d still heard nothing from the Hill Country. He found a small apartment a few blocks away from his parents, still wanting to be close to work. He sent Eddie another letter with his new address and phone number. 

The cat followed him from work to his apartment. He scooped it up and carried it inside. 

He wasn’t sure what to call it, first figuring out it was a boy, then putting him down to watch his behavior. He figured he’d find a suitable name soon enough.

The kitten was odd, as it turned out. He followed him from room to room and shoved into his side on the couch. The thing even slept on him, be it his feet, his arm, or even once his chest. 

He thought perhaps the cat was a dog in another life. 

Thinking back to his days in the Pacific, he began to call it Snafu. Not only because its behavior seemed A.F.U., but because he was reminded of Shelton, and his habit of circling Sledge. Thinking of his boys made him smile. 

Most days he spoke to Snafu aloud, going through the house, making dinner, washing clothes. Snafu was always there, half in his way, and Andy told him about his work day, or about his mother and father. Mostly, he talked about Eddie. 

“I miss him,” he said, “I wish he would write me so I’d know whether or not we’ve been found out.” He paused as he folded another shirt, “It’s not like there’s much to find out, anyway. I’ve only kissed him.”

Snafu was a good listener. He purred in response and sat down on the very pile of laundry Andy was working on. Andy sighed. 

“You’re not much help.” But Snafu’s eyes were closed now.

Six weeks away from Eddie, Andy had his mother and father over for dinner. He made them chicken and green beans. Andy liked being with his parents, he liked chatting about their days and about people they knew; Andy was sure his father knew every Scottish family from there to Boston. He was sure he knew them and all that was happening in their lives. He _knew_ his mother knew them and all the available young ladies they had. 

“Don’t you think you’ve been home long enough?” Mom asked him, “I know plenty of nice girls who’d love to go out with a Captain in the Marines.”

Andy toyed with the remains of his meal and looked up at her without bothering to really lift his head, “I know, Mom,” he shoved some green beans in his mouth, “I’m just not interested right now. I mean, there’s no point in me asking out these nice girls if it’s not gonna go anywhere.”

His mother gave him a look, “You don’t know that.”

Andy scooped up another mouthful and gave his mother a shrug and a hum and didn’t bother audibly arguing. 

There was only one beat of silence more before the telephone rang. Andy jumped; that phone hadn’t rung once since he’d moved in. He excused himself from the table, walked three paces to the counter, and picked up the receiver.

“Hello?” he asked somewhat tentatively.

“Ack Ack.” The voice on the other end sounded like a sigh, a happy one.

“Eddie!” Andy kicked himself for allowing that reaction in front of his parents. 

He heard a soft little chuckle from the other end, “I got the house to myself for a moment,” Eddie said slowly, “I’ve missed you.”

“I–yeah.” Andy bit his lip, looking back at the table, “My parents are here.”

“Oh,” Andy could practically hear Eddie straighten, “I can call back if–”

“No, don’t. It’s okay.”

Eddie huffed relief into the phone, “Did you miss me, too?”

“Yeah, I did.” Andy’s grin was wide and he found himself turning away from his parents. 

“Good.” Eddie sounded sincere. “I have news,” he said, “I sent you a letter. You should be getting it soon, I suppose. But I didn’t want to wait to hear from you.”

Andy laughed a bit at that, “I was wondering if I’d done something to upset you when you never wrote back.”

“No, nothing like that.” Eddie’s voice sounded so sweet to Andy, “Life’s just busy, I got a job.”

“That’s great,” his smile became bigger somehow, “I’m happy for you.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Andy heard him adjust somehow, get more comfortable, “It’s just at the local automotive shop, but it’s good for me. Keeps me occupied.”

“Good, good.” Nodding, he replied, “I sleep easier on work nights.”

“Though not as well as I sleep with you.”

Andy shook his head and bit back whatever response threatened to come out. After a long pause, Eddie spoke again.

“Well, listen, I don’t wanna keep you but I was wondering…” He swallowed, buying himself time, “I know you probably won’t come down for the holidays, and I wouldn’t want you to leave your folks, but I was thinking maybe New Year’s–”

“Yeah, yeah, I’d love to.” Damn, he knew he was too excited but how could he help it? “Hey, why won’t you come up here this time around?”

“Yeah,” Eddie’s excitement peaked and then dropped off steeply, “I’d like to but I don’t know if I can…”

“I can take care of it. If you need me to.”

“No, I don’t want–”

“Eddie.” Andy sounded like he was scolding a child.

“There’s no reason.”

“Why don’t I write you about it?” Andy settled, “We’ve got time to figure it out.”

“Okay.” Eddie sounded sweet again.

“I’ve gotta go now,” Andy said, letting Eddie down gently. 

“Alright. Goodbye, Andy.”

“Bye, Eddie.”

Andy returned to his seat and found himself explaining, “That was my friend, Eddie Jones. You remember, he was my Lieutenant.”

“Of course,” said Mom, “Is he going to come here to visit you?”

“He might,” Andy sat back in his seat, “We’ll see.”

 

_Dear Andy,_

_I’m sorry to not respond to your letters sooner. I didn’t want to get you worked up and I wasn’t sure which course of action would achieve that. Nobody has said anything to me about you or the letters or anything else. I’m still nervous. We should lay low for a while, a least not visit._

_I’ve got a job here, now. I’m working at the automotive repair shop. My manager is an ass, but my boss, the man who hired me, is okay. I don’t run into Rob much but I think he is more managerial than anything.The hours go by fast and the work helps me clear my head. Helps me sleep, too. Maybe being bone tired helps get rid of nightmares, but I’ve been bone tired for years._

_Ruth asks about you, she misses you. Can’t imagine why._

 

_Sincerely,_

_Eddie Jones_

 

Andy had a month. Whether Andy rode to the mountains or Eddie came up to the city, a month was something he could do. Besides, Christmas was fast approaching and work was keeping him busy. 

  He took every excuse he had to stay out of the cold, only leaving his apartment for work and trips to the post office. Twice he stocked up on groceries. He wrote Eddie nearly everyday, though he hardly ever mailed these letters. They were full of dull descriptions of his days at work and the antics of Snafu. And some of them felt entirely too emotional to send, sure that Eddie wouldn’t want to hear it. 

One letter he did send. Instead of arguing over ticket sales, Andy mailed Eddie the exact change for a one way trip into Boston. 

 

_Dear Eddie,_

_It’ll cost you more to mail it back. Just take the train._

_Your friend,_

_Andrew Haldane_

 

_P.S. I’ll let you pay for the ticket back home._

 

Andy would be spending Christmas with his parents; he’d bought them both gifts. (There was a new book for his mother and snow shoes for his dad.) While wrapping them, Andy’s mind drifted to Eddie, of course it would. Would Eddie want a Christmas present?

Close to a week later Andy ventured into town. The weather wasn’t as bad as it had been the previous week, that is, it was about freezing. The tip of Andy’s nose was red and the clouded, winter sun made his hair look pale. He browsed store windows at a brisk pace, head slightly inclined forward, and his hands pushed into his pockets. 

Inside one shop, there were featured many small trinkets. Some jewelry that seemed nice to Andy, although he was never any good at telling for sure, some delicately carved bookends, small statuettes. The young woman behind the counter asked Andy if he was looking for a gift for his sweetheart and seemed rather pleased when he laughed and told her no. 

When Andy did find the gift, it seemed to stare at him. Some kind of burning lit itself underneath Andy’s skin until he decided. He brought it home. 

 

Christmas was a long ordeal in his family. He visited with his brother and brand new nephew. He was so small and blond Andy was almost afraid to hold him. They ate a modest, but delicious, Christmas Eve dinner together with Andy’s parents. Andy’s brother would be spending Christmas day with his wife’s family, but the Haldanes were so happy to have their son back, they almost seemed not to mind. 

Andy spent the night drinking cider (alcohol made him woozy now and took to plaguing his mind with images of Japan), sitting on the floor with his back against his father’s lounging chair, and staring at the Christmas tree. It was a shimmering red, gold, and green vision, almost didn’t seem real to Andy. He remembered his mother decorating a tree each year growing up, but he couldn’t see that now. This one, he was sure had been erected from the very parlor floor, grew up from the floorboards to nest in his childhood home. He couldn’t decide if it was welcome or not. The smell was sweet but somehow offensive to him, it was so foreign now. 

When his mother found him, dazed as he was, she sat on the couch and patted the seat next to her. Andy sat down, dutifully, and let her stroke her fingers through his hair. She asked nothing about where Andy’s mind was, not that he could have told her if she had. Eventually, he thawed a bit and rested his head on her shoulder. 

 

Andy’s parents seemed pleased with his gifts. He earned a kiss from his mother and a hug from his father. Christmas dinner was good. Andy had helped his mother prepare it, his first time ever, and was mostly pleased with his efforts. 

Late Christmas night he found himself in his room, sitting with Snafu, and toying with Eddie’s gift. Wrapping it, something nervous kicked at his stomach. This seemed heavier than the gift he bought Eddie for Sheridan’s wedding. Perhaps it was because he couldn’t disguise it with gifts for other people. This was just Eddie’s; he didn’t want other people to see it. He didn’t want to share. 

 

December 30th, Andy drove to Boston to pick up Eddie from the train station. It was odd, of course, to be on this side now. Driving occupied his mind some, unlike the hours-long train rides, but he found himself nervous. He hadn’t realized, hadn’t thought about it, really, how dangerous it must have felt for Eddie to show him his home. Now that Andy was expected to do the same, he wondered if Eddie’s hands had been restless like his are now, or if he had some unknown tune in his head like he did now. 

Waiting at the train station was worse, it turned out. He had nowhere to put his energy, first bouncing his foot and then standing to pace a long path. He picked at his lip and nail beds, a habit his mother had chastised him for many times. Everything at the station was brown. The benches were brown, the columns were sanded oak, the kiosks the same shade; Andy was upset to realize he wore the color, too. 

He jumped at the hoarse whistle of a train (not his, ten minutes too early) and afterward made himself lean against the cool wall. He prayed some stability would seep into him then. 

Eddie’s train slowed to a stop as its whistle and brakes filled the station. He was one of the last ones off; he looked tired from his trip but still pleased when he spotted Andy, waiting on the outskirts of the crowd. When he approached, Andy took his bag on instinct and clapped a friendly arm around him. 

In his little car, Andy’s nerves were taken away with the open window and the faint smell of Eddie’s cigarette. Andy was surprised when Eddie didn’t roll the window back up after he’d finished. 

Catching his look, he said, “I like the cold now. Reminds me that I’m here.”

Andy nodded. He said after a moment, “I’m taking you home first. I made up the guest bedroom,” he laughed at Eddie’s too-wide grin, “My parents are coming over for dinner tonight.”

Eddie’s smile remained right where it was; he kept looking at Andy.

“What?”

Eddie settled back in his seat, “You’re taking me home.”

Andy smiled, too. 

Andy’s apartment was crowded and gray. The walls were chalky and stale, the small couch was the color of dark gravel, and the only artwork in the house was a painting of a field of flowers his mother had gifted him when he’d moved in. He’d hung that up in the guest bedroom, feeling like that’d be something a good host would do. 

And now Eddie was here, an impossibly bright spot, in his blue cotton shirt, a dense center of the universe. They had coffee, and Eddie told Andy about Ruthie and Frank and John. He said he saw Sheridan most weekends and Joe had a new girl he was seeing. Andy made dinner while he listened (he’d decided on spaghetti). 

Dinner was warm and comfortable and Eddie was greeted with affection by both Andy’s mother and father. Mrs. Haldane, who was small and sweet looking, asked Eddie about his job. He explained his job at the mechanic’s shop with clarity, like she knew exactly what he was talking about. Mr. Haldane asked about his family, asked what his parents did for a living. 

“My dad was an miner,” Eddie said around a half-mouthful of pasta, “but an accident put him out.”

“And your mother?” inquired Mrs. Haldane.

He swallowed. “She raised six children. Still is raising three of ‘em.”

Mrs. Haldane let out an impressed noise and Mr. Haldane gave a low whistle. He asked, “How do they keep bread on the table now?”

“My brother Joe and I, mostly.” He spent a few seconds twirling noodles onto his fork, “All my pay from the Corp went to them.”

Andy looked up at him sharply from his place across the table. Eddie had never mentioned that before. 

“Now, let me ask you, son,” Andy could hear him put on his Dad Voice, “how did my boy do over there?”

“Dad–”

“No,” he held up his hand but continued to look at Eddie, “quiet, Andy. I want to know.”

Eddie took a moment to look at Andy, probably deciding what to tell and what to tailor, “He…” He closed his mouth quickly before speaking again, “well, he’s here, which tells you enough.” Adjusting in his seat, he continued, “But, uh, Andy was incredible. He’s a natural leader. He was like a father to the entire company.”

That wasn’t what Andy had been expecting. “I wasn’t–”

“You were, though.” He flicked his eyes to look at him with something heated, but still soft, “You checked up on every single one of them, Andy. You talked to them about anything you could to keep them occupied.” Stuffing his mouth full of spaghetti, he settled back and said, “Plus, Sledge told me that’s how he thought of you.”

Andy parents were beaming. “Sledge.” Andy said, somewhere between affectionate and admonishing. 

Eddie cleaned his plate, shrugged, “You know, I heard Phillips is getting married.”

“Phillips?” It took Andy a moment to understand the shift in subject, “Really? God, he seems too young to get married.”

“Old enough to go to war,” Eddie said with his arms crossed. 

Eddie seemed too angry for this conversation. Maybe he was talking about something else altogether. Regardless, his parents didn't seems to notice.

“Do you have anyone in your life now?” Andy’s mother asked in a calm voice that held other intentions. Andy knew exactly what she was doing and–“My boy refuses to try with any of the girls here.”

“No, I…” Eddie looked anywhere but at Andy, “It’s hard–nearly impossible–to find someone who understands… all of what we’ve been through.” He sounded soft, “It’s hard to find interest in someone who doesn’t.”

“But certainly you’d be happier if you weren’t alone.” Andy’s mother tried again. 

“Could be.” It was simple and placating. Andy realized Eddie was defending him, in a way. It made his cheeks prickle too hot. 

“I promise, I’m happy, Mom.” He wanted this conversation to shift somewhere else.  

His father looked to Mrs. Haldane and the pain she was only half hiding before glancing at Andy, “We just want what’s best for you.”

Andy nodded and took his plate to the sink, “I know.” 

Mrs. Haldane dropped the subject and helped Andy clean all of the dishes and put away leftovers. He kissed her cheek in thanks and apology. They all shared an after-dinner coffee; Andy and Eddie let Andy’s mom and dad sit on the gravel couch. There wasn’t much to talk about now and the Haldanes excused themselves with the reason of letting Eddie get some rest. 

When the door closed behind them, Andy took Eddie’s hand and guided him back, past the open doorway of the guest room, and into his own. Eddie’s smile was soft as he closed the door behind him and, checking that Andy’s curtains were drawn, pulled Andy close to him and nestled his face into the crook of his neck. Andy could feel the rush of air as Eddie breathed him in and decided he liked the pressure from all sides Eddie’s arms gave him. He sighed and slumped into him and they stayed there for some time, Andy soaking in warmth and allowing himself to relax. 

They undressed and Andy took the time to run his hand across Eddie’s shoulder and trace the line of muscle in his arm. Eddie laughed and stepped forward to help Andy out of his shirt needlessly. It wasn’t until Eddie was so close Andy could feel the tension coming off of him, could feel the way his feet had turned to stone, that Andy pushed forward to kiss him almost desperately. He’d forgotten again, at least, he hadn’t meant for the kiss to be anything rough or challenging, but he felt like fire was in his bones and he couldn’t help but cling to him with every bit of himself. 

The idea was to stay up and be together as much as they could. But the bed was warm and tempting and the train ride had taken most of Eddie’s energy. They settled for lying side by side, gentle touches soothing each other into sleep; Eddie fell asleep first and Andy watched him go, stroked his hair as his eyes drooped low and heavy. 

They both woke early to the quiet sounds of needle-like claws against the wooden door and upset mewling. Muttering indistinctly, Andy got up and let little Snafu in. He was almost fully grown now and he was still such a small thing. He circled affectionately around Andy’s ankle before leaping up onto the bed with an excited growl. He pawed his way onto Eddie’s stomach, where he sniffed and cautiously tested for a suitable surface to curl up on. 

Eddie looked from the cat which was now reaching up to sniff at his nose and paw at his face before he looked to Andy. “Who is this?” He asked with his brow raised. 

“He’s called Snafu,” Eddie raised his brow again, “He circles a lot. Reminded me of Shelton.” Andy explained. 

Eddie hummed and with a surprising air of practice, picked Snafu up by his scruff, sat up and dropped him into his lap. Snafu made a little discontented noise but soon settled into comfort when Eddie started petting him. 

Snafu stayed with them throughout the day as they drank coffee, listened to the radio, and read together on the couch, thighs touching because they could. Andy didn’t refrain from casually touching Eddie whenever the urge hit him; this was the first time he could. 

 

They ate dinner at the table, seated next to each other, Eddie’s hand rubbing circles on Andy’s knee. Andy pushed his food around his plate as he worked up his nerve to go retrieve Eddie’s gift. He was afraid and not entirely sure of what. Eddie would, at the very least, accept the gift. It was Christmas for goodness’ sake. 

Finally, he just did it. Pushed away from the table and walked into his room without a word. Coming back, he was greeted with a perplexed Eddie. Andy rather liked that expression on him. 

“It’s Christmas,” he said, holding out the small, wrapped box. Eddie seemed to wait for more but Andy remained silent, hand outstretched. After a few slow breaths, Eddie took the box from Andy with gentle fingers. He turned it over in his hands.

Andy sat back in his seat as Eddie began to tear the paper away. The box came open and there it was: a small, silvery Saint Christopher medal. Eddie looked perplexed again. 

“I know you’re not Catholic. But that wasn’t really the point,” Andy watched as Eddie’s fingertips stroked the smooth metal slowly, “He’s the patron saint of travelers.” He paused to think before continuing, “I don’t believe in saints, but soldiers wear these for protection. I don't know, when I saw it, it seemed right.”

Eddie pulled the medal out of its box and squeezed it in his palm. “I’m not a soldier anymore.” His voice was hoarse. 

“No, you’re not.”

“You ever gonna stop being my Captain?” The medal was still held tightly in Eddie’s hand. 

“I doubt it.” Andy laughed a little to ease himself. 

Eddie dipped his head as he looped the chain around his neck. Andy felt the nervous knot in his gut loosen. Eddie gripped the necklace with a harsh fist and furrowed his brow as he kissed Andy. Andy did his best to soften him with his hands on his arms and in his hair. His hand found the medal and pressed it into Eddie’s chest. 

It was New Year’s Eve, but they did not listen to the countdown, they didn’t watch fireworks out Andy’s window, fireworks made both of them tense now, anyway. Instead, they shared the space of Andy’s bed and lounged in a comfortable semi-silence. 

After a long while, Eddie spoke suddenly, “Do you ever consider telling them?”

Andy tilted his head at him.

“Your family,” he almost elaborated, “about this?”

Andy looked at the sheets while Eddie watched the question turn through his head. Without looking up, he answered, “I don’t think so.” He took a breath, “I’m not sure how they’d react and I’m not even sure…” he circled his hands as he search for the right phrase, settling on, “what I am.”

“What you are?” Eddie sat up a little straighter. 

Andy inhaled through his nose and shifted, “You’re the first… I never thought I was interested in men.” He studied the features of Eddie’s face for a small moment, “Of course, now I’m not as sure. Though, I never felt so inclined towards anyone as I do you.” Andy shuffled out of bed and walked to his dresser to change into sleeping clothes, “Never had much interest in girls. I thought, maybe I had to wait for someone.”

Eddie watched Andy as he pulled his shirt over his head to replace it with another. A clapping firework lit Andy’s profile, “Do you still think that?”

Andy stopped, straightened, and looked squarely at Eddie, “I think I’ve never wanted to be with anyone as much as I want to be with you.”

Eddie held his gaze a long moment before nodding. He sat up and maneuvered out of his pants and shirt, apparently electing to sleep in only his underwear. When Andy returned to the bed, Eddie was leaning back, absently playing with his medal. 

Andy slid down in the bed to rest on his side and asked, “Did you know? Growing up?”

“Uh,” Eddie’s hand stilled, “I guess I knew. But I liked girls enough. Figured it didn’t matter if I liked girls.” His voice was quiet like he was afraid someone would overhear. 

“And now?”

The response was immediate, “I don’t want them to know.”  
“Are you ashamed?” Andy wasn’t trying to be accusing. He understood. 

Eddie still looked shy when he answered, “Ashamed isn’t the right word.”

“What is?”

“I don’t know…” Slipping down to match Andy, Eddie looked at him with an openness Andy hadn’t seen before, “maybe scared. I’m the oldest,” he said with his jaw set, “I set an example. I have duties to fulfill and I don’t want my folks disappointed that I’m not what they thought.”

“Does this make us something else?” Of course it did. Eddie had rewritten him from the marrow out. 

Eddie shook his head minutely. Instead of answering he said, “I couldn’t stand for Ruthie to see me as a secret or a mistake. I can’t risk losing her.”

A painful thread pulled through Andy’s chest then, so he leaned forward to kiss Eddie beneath his eye and say, “She loves you.”

Swallowing hard, Eddie nodded and turned onto his back, head supported mostly by his arms. “She saved me a bit,” his eyes moved across the imperfections of Andy’s ceiling, “when I came back.”

Andy wasn’t positive he understood Eddie completely, but he believed him. “She’s good for you. Your whole family is.”

Some emotion swept over Eddie’s face then, perhaps frustration, Andy thought, but it was gone in the next instant. He let out a loud breath. 

“Let’s sleep,” Andy decided. Eddie agreed and both settled curled toward each other, like twin buds on a stalk. The continuing fireworks painted them in reds and blues and Eddie woke once from a fitful nightmare.

The morning came late with rain and slow kisses that made Andy dizzy. Just for the sake of kissing; Andy became nervous that someone would find them but his stomach burst into giddy butterflies when he remembered they were alone. For the very first time, they were absolutely alone. No one would intrude, no one could stop Eddie from dragging his nose up the side of Andy’s face and nuzzling in the hair behind his ear. No one could see Andy’s smile when he tucked his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck. No one would know that Eddie pushed Andy softly into the mattress, his medal hanging from his neck and burning a hole right through Andy’s chest.

Coffee and showers came hours later, sometime when they should’ve already been up. But Andy would be hard-pressed to say it was a wasted morning. Two days he got to be with Eddie, only two days with Eddie and no one else. And it was easy, he thought, to talk over coffee and fuss about the rain and hide under a wool blanket for the few hours they could. 

Eddie didn’t seem to be all there, however. He talked happily and settled into Andy’s side to read as he had the night before but there was something stirring in the back of his mind. Andy could see it when it came forward to read on his face with a furrowed brow or pursed lips. Andy thought maybe he missed Ruth, or maybe the cold of the North made him uncomfortable. Regardless, it was hard to ignore. Seeing Eddie in any form other than happiness was almost painful. 

As the wind became louder and Eddie tucked his long limbs closer to his body, Andy asked, “What is it, Eddie?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re upset about something. Don’t think I can’t read you.”

Eddie shifted in his seat and tugged at the blanket, “It’s Joe.” The words came out like they took great effort. Andy waited for him to continue but Eddie’s neck began to blush and he seemed unwilling. 

“What about Joe?” he prompted. 

“He found the letters.”

Andy’s whole body became hot in a way that only comes from fear. The same kind of fear he’d felt on Peleliu. His mouth was dry and he his tongue felt stupid. 

Eddie swallowed harshly, “He didn’t tell me,” he continued, “but after the wedding he acted strange. Didn’t want to talk much.”

“Are you sure he did?” Andy could hear his voice but was unaware of talking himself. 

“Found the letters?”

Andy didn’t respond but Eddie must have taken that as an affirmative.

“Yes,” Eddie replied with cold confidence, “I had begun to suspect and it terrified me. Not knowing was… I had to know. I only asked him why he wouldn’t talk to me.” Here Eddie flung the blanket off of himself like he couldn’t stand to have it touch him or like the heat was too much. He kept on, “And he asked me if I remembered Red and Charlie.”

“What?”

A deep intake of breath and a hand through the hair at the crown of his head, Eddie said, looking at the floor, “Red and Charlie were these two old birds who’d lived together since before either of us were born. They were this _thing_ that everybody knew about but didn’t talk about, you know?”

Andy nodded but he didn’t, he didn’t know. “Did they–did something _happen_ to them?”

“I don’t know.” Eddie shook his head, “I never thought so, but they vanished when we were teenagers. I was told they moved.”

“But did they?”

“Jesus Christ, I don’t know, Andy. Does it matter?” Eddie was suddenly lit up in the lashing anger that came with these sorts of things, “Joe said he remembered hating them, despite not knowing them. Said he never questioned it either.” Before Andy said anything he continued on one breath, “Now, I don’t know if he means he’s begun to question it or if he just wanted to remind me of how he felt but… I don’t know. Either way doesn’t seem to matter.”

Eddie seemed spent and leant his weight onto his knees. Andy wanted to comfort him but moving seemed such a great effort and his breathing came short and shallow. He could see Eddie’s head hang and his shoulders shudder with his breath. 

“What do we do?” His voice came floating to Andy, quiet and meek.

Andy just shook his head.

 

Sleep that night came in short bursts before either was awoken by the anxious pounding of their hearts. Refusing to be kept away, Andy wrapped himself tightly around Eddie’s back and breathed the smell of his hair to calm himself. They were alone. 

In the morning, sitting on the edge of Andy’s bed, Eddie kissed him and held his head with one calloused hand. He insisted Andy press against him, if not with words, then with his actions. Forehead to forehead, Andy sighed before sliding in to kiss Eddie again, reassuring himself that Eddie was his. When he made to pull away, Eddie held his head still and refused to move. 

“You’re mine.” He said, not with frustration or anger, but with heat. “And I promise you, I’m yours. I want you. I’ve never wanted anything so badly in all my life.”

Breathing out in a huff, Andy could feel his heartbeat in his throat. He nodded, eyes closed and mouth hanging open, and pushed forward to kiss Eddie harder than before. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! This chapter kicked my ass! Hope you like it!
> 
> A few things:  
> 1\. There's some talk of sexuality in here. You may take the discussion Eddie and Andy have as loosely or literally as you'd like.   
> 2\. I wanna talk about Joe, because I love him because I love all my characters. Joe looks up to Eddie so. much. He loves his big brother in that way that is only reserved for big brothers. Eddie went to war, Joe couldn't. Eddie works with his hands, Joe can't. Eddie was sought after by girls, Joe wasn't. Joe has come to the conclusion that Eddie is in a romantic relationship with Andy and that kind of freaks him out. He's a product of his time, after all, and he's not sure what to do or think about the situation. But he feels slightly betrayed, because his big brother isn't what he thought he was. (That's how he sees it.)  
> 3\. Why does Andy keep giving people gifts? I don't know??? Because he really likes to, I think.


	5. The Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so this is where the non-graphic violence comes in. It's really not bad but just thought I should warn you.

When Andy got the out-of-state call he was surprised not to find Eddie’s voice on the other end. It was Sheridan. Her voice was slow and her thoughts were scattered. She said Mama and Pop hadn’t thought of him at first, but she thought he oughtta know, that he oughtta come down. Andy didn’t respond; he forgot he was holding a phone at all. 

“Andy?” Sheridan’s voice echoed through the line.

“Yeah,” he slowly came back, “Yeah, I’ll come down.” He pinched the bridge of his nose with his eyes squeezed shut. He needed to calm his breathing.

“Alright. I’ll see what I can do about getting you picked up from the station.” Sheridan was trying to comfort him and it was like a punch to the gut. How fucking upside-down was that? 

The train ride took too long. They always took too long, but this was excruciating. Andy couldn’t focus on the mountains, on the trees, or the cold. He kept chewing on his nails and his fingers, tasting blood before cursing at himself under his breath. When the station came within sight he was up and at the front of his car before anyone else. 

He found Sheridan and Rob waiting for him. They didn’t say much until he was in their car, only a hug from Sheridan whose face was red and a handshake from Rob who looked dead on his feet. 

Sheridan was the one who explained it to him, Rob coming in to finish any thoughts she couldn’t. A stranger had found Eddie behind _Johnson’s,_ shirt covered in blood, unconscious, but breathing. The hospital knew him (one of the blessings of a small town) and called the house. A friend was staying with the children for now; the extent of Eddie’s situation had not been explained to them yet. Mama, Pop, and Joe were at the hospital with Eddie who was still sedated. 

The hospital room was small and all white aside from the blue cotton blanket draped over Eddie. There were three chairs crammed along the wall; there wasn’t even a window, but the door remained open. 

Andy held his breath, unthinking. Eddie looked just as he did when he was hit, his eyes perfectly closed and his mouth hanging open the smallest bit. He couldn’t help himself, he felt the tears cloud up his eyes. He pressed his hands to them, not ashamed to cry, but afraid of failing Eddie’s family when he felt they needed him. Mama came up to soothe him; she ran her hands over his arms and ducked her head to make him look at her. Andy was sure mothers were the most powerful things in the world. He did his best to not crumble into her. 

“Here,” Andy looked up to see Joe standing from his chair and placing it at Eddie’s right side. Andy was too upset to refuse. When he sat he reached out to touch Eddie but fell short at the bed railing. It was all he could do to watch the rise and fall of Eddie’s chest and not picture him covered in coral dust. Joe stood by him and listed off the injuries. 

“He’s got a broken nose, several broken ribs, and a fractured wrist. Doctor says that’s probably from defending himself from whoever jumped him.”

“You’re sure he was jumped?” asked Andy.

Joe shrugged, “It’s likely,” he said, “doctor seems to think so.”

Andy sighed and Joe stiffened next to him. He leaned heavily against the bed railing, didn’t look at Andy as he continued speaking.

“Obviously, he’s got bruising along his torso, neck, and face.” Andy watched his knuckles tighten and release, “It’s probably superficial, but it could go deeper. They’re monitoring him for signs of internal bleeding.”

“Is he–” Andy swallowed thickly, “Are they keeping him under or…?”

“Uhm, he’s on some heavy-duty stuff, but they’re waiting for him to wake up. The doctor assures us he’s asleep.” Suddenly, Joe looked tired. His shoulders sagged and he brought a hand to his face. Andy placed a hand on his back and felt him trembling. 

Everyone stayed until late in the evening, eating a small hospital dinner. Afterward Sheridan announced she and Rob were going to go back to the house and check on the younger ones. 

“I’ll go with you, if that’s okay,” said Joe, “I gotta get outta this place for a bit.”

Sheridan only nodded and led him out. 

“Mrs. Jones,” Andy said in a quiet voice, “if you want to go home and sleep, I’m gonna stay here. Eddie’ll be here in the morning.”

Mama looked at him for a long time before shaking her head and saying, “No, I can’t leave him. Not yet.”

Andy nodded. He expected someone to suggest he go back to the house and sleep, but he was grateful no one did. He couldn’t have slept alone in Eddie’s bed if his life depended on it.

He managed to doze in his chair, waking up every couple of hours with a tightness in his chest. When he did, he found it easier to touch Eddie. With his parents asleep, he took the opportunity to touch his shoulder, push his fingers through his hair. One brave time when the night was thick, he stood to press a kiss to his forehead.

In the morning he woke for the last time, Eddie had not moved. Mr. and Mrs. Jones slept, but it seemed light, like the slightest noise would wake them. Andy needed some air. He stood, tugged on the sleeve of Eddie’s hospital gown to say he’d be back, and took a walk down the hall. Other hospital rooms were open. He passed several sleeping families. He did his best to avoid the paths of nurses and doctors as they tended to their patients. On his second lap of the hall he saw a nurse enter Eddie’s room. A moment later, he heard a clatter and an undistinguished shout, several male nurses and aids jogged into Eddie’s room at a call for assistance. 

Andy ran to the room. He had to pause at the door to understand what he was seeing. Several people surrounded Eddie, two grabbing at his shoulders, others trying to hold his arms and legs down. Eddie was flailing like a captured animal. A breath later Andy understood the shouts coming from him.

“Goddamn Nips! Get the fuck off me!”

An orderly told him to calm down but Eddie only fought harder, getting a hand free and landing a solid punch to someone’s chest. Andy stepped forward without much thought. 

“Eddie, Eddie–”

“Skipper!” Eddie shouted, “Skipper–fucking Japs–!”

Andy weaved his way to Eddie’s side and tried again, “Jones, get ahold of yourself, you’re not–”

“Help me, Skipper! They’re gonna kill me!” Eddie’s voice was wild and broken as he said, “Why aren’t you helping me!”

“Lieutenant!” Andy pushed past one of the nurses and grabbed Eddie by the shoulders. “You better fucking square up.”

Eddie’s breathing had become shallow and labored.

“That’s an order, Lieutenant!”

Eddie began to calm when Andy held his head. 

“There are no Japs, there are no Japs,” Andy was saying, “You’re home.”

When he stilled, those holding him hesitated. Eddie jerked out of the grip on his wrists, “Get off me, I know where I am.” He said roughly. 

Eddie sat up, his eyes wide and his body twitching with his heavy breathing.

Andy spoke, “It was a nightmare–one of those waking nightmares.”

Andy saw the tears come and didn’t understand. Eddie shouldn’t be embarrassed, it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t–

Eddie cried. An honest-to-God sob wracked through his body. Andy took his face in his hands but he pulled away.

“I can’t–It’s not fair.” Eddie tried to gasp for air but was met with another sob. 

“What is it?” Andy asked, “It’s not your fault.” He sat on the edge of the bed. He was still talking about the nightmare.

“Skipper,” Eddie whined and wouldn’t look at him, “Skipper, it was my fault, I killed him.”

“What? Eddie…” 

“I killed him, I killed him.” His voice cracked and broke his words.

Andy took Eddie’s face in his hands again and this time did not let go when Eddie tried to get away. “What are you talking about?”

Eddie continued rambling incoherent thoughts, “It was a nightmare but I had to–I couldn’t let–”

Andy understood. He pulled Eddie forward roughly and he gave up, collapsed himself to Andy’s chest and cried in earnest. He trembled and gasped and clutched at Andy’s back.

“It wasn’t his fault, he didn’t know what he was doing.” Eddie spoke into Andy’s shirt. Andy could feel it soaking through to his skin.

“You did the right thing,” he said, “Eddie, you didn’t know–he would’ve woke the whole island.”

“I tried!” Eddie was shouting again, “I tried to shut him up, but he wouldn’t and I didn’t know what, what else to do.”

Andy brought Eddie’s face back to look at him. He met his eyes, realizing he was crying too. He said, “Lieutenant, you did the right thing. He would’ve gotten half the company killed.”

Eddie nodded but didn’t seem entirely convinced. His crying was quiet now, but showed no signs of stopping. He tucked himself into Andy’s neck.

“But I killed him, I did. I don’t deserve–” His voice cracked again.

“Shut up,” Andy said too harshly. “Shut up, Jones.”

Eddie became quiet but still shook and clawed at Andy’s shoulders as he cried. Andy had never seen him so upset, never like this in country. Then again, maybe he had. It had been impossible to tell what each man felt then, everyone trying to be strong for the fella next to him. That only worked for so long. 

Andy turned his head to look at Mama and Pop. They looked scared, terrified, and they made no move to come forward. This was likely the most hysterical they’d seen their son since he came home. Had Eddie done so much as cry? Every soldier, every Marine, did all he could to keep his experiences from his family. Andy could do nothing but hold Eddie tightly, rub at his back, run his fingers through his hair. He found he didn’t want to do anything else. 

Eddie stayed pressed to Andy until his breathing calmed and the tears stopped flowing. Andy had no idea how long it took, it felt like forever. When he felt Eddie slump against him he spoke into his hair.

“You should sleep more. You need to rest.”

Eddie hummed and nodded. Andy leaned him back to see he was already halfway there. Eddie fell back against his pillow without so much as a huff and Andy was left to stand and fix the blanket. 

When it was clear Eddie was completely out, Mama came forward. She looked at her son and looked at Andy. With the discipled practice of a mother she brushed curls from Eddie’s forehead and stroked his cheek. With no pretense, she collapsed back into the chair. Andy was watching her, waiting for her to ask, maybe she was waiting for him. 

“I’ve heard of boys dreaming and crying,” she said, “I never saw my boy do it, though.”

She seemed exhausted, Andy was sure she was. 

“Has he–?” she swallowed, “I mean, he never seemed so affected.” She was quiet for a long time and Andy wondered if she forgot he was there. 

Pop came to the foot of the bed and asked, “What did he mean?” he looked pained, “Why was he crying?”

Andy thought about lying; he thought that maybe Eddie didn’t want his parents to know. But Mama and Pop watched him with so much hurt. He couldn’t lie to a mother. 

So, Andy told them. He told them about the young Marine and the nightmare. He told them he had been inconsolable, told them how Eddie had tried desperately to talk him down, how Sledge had said he had been kind and it hurt. He told them it was unavoidable, Eddie had given the order because it had been the only thing to do. He had saved the rest of their boys. 

 

Sheridan, Rob, and Joe came back in the afternoon, Andy was unsure of the exact time. Eddie still slept and Mama told them about the episode. She did not tell them he’d cried. Sheridan reported that Frank, John, and Ruth were okay but anxious to see Eddie. They wouldn’t be bringing them here, though, they’d have to wait until Eddie could go home. 

Andy noticed Joe sit to Eddie’s right and stay there the entire evening. 

When Eddie woke again, it was slow and without much noise. Everyone moved to him and then pulsed back, afraid to overwhelm him. 

Mama asked, “Do you know where you are, Eddie?”

Eddie looked at the ceiling. He nodded. 

“Do you remember what happened?” asked Sheridan. 

“Do I remember getting the shit beat outta me?” Eddie asked with some heat in his voice, “Yeah. I do.”

Joe looked as if he was gonna speak up, but before he could Eddie’s doctor entered. The crowd parted for him as he addressed everyone. He asked Eddie several questions and explained his condition to him. Andy was only half listening. The doctor told everyone that Eddie would be staying one more night for observation. He could be released in the morning. 

 

That night, all parties went to sleep in their own homes, at Eddie’s request. All except Andy, who refused to leave. When the family was out of the room and entirely gone from the hallway. Andy closed the door and moved to sit on the edge of Eddie’s bed. Eddie reached for him and Andy could finally hold his hand like he’d been wanting to. Eddie’s bed had been propped up and he reached forward, not speaking, but Andy got the idea. He wrapped his hand around the back of Eddie’s neck and pulled him until they were forehead to forehead. Andy let out a quiet sigh, but Eddie didn’t seem to be breathing at all. Andy placed his free hand on the side of Eddie’s face, traced his thumb over an eyebrow. 

“Are you okay?” Andy whispered as if he was afraid of spooking him. 

“I’m–I don’t know.”

“Okay,” said Andy.

Andy pecked a kiss to Eddie’s unbruised cheek and separated from him. After several beats he asked, “Do you remember waking up the first time?”

Eddie flushed red and nodded. 

“Nobody blames you,” Andy comforted him. 

“So says you.”

Andy wanted to put that down, tell him he shouldn’t be embarrassed. But he thought about himself in the same situation; it was unlikely he would come out of that without hurting his pride.

He dragged a hand up Eddie’s arm to lightly squeeze his shoulder but Eddie flinched at the pain. Andy moaned out and hung his head. 

“Quit mopin’ Ack Ack,” Eddie flicked his ear, “I’m fine.”

“Your parents asked,” Andy returned, “about your crying.” 

“Did you tell them?”

Andy bit his lip and played with Eddie’s hospital band, “I couldn’t lie to your mother.”

A nod.

“Eddie, do you,” Andy’d throat felt thick, choked, “do you know who jumped you? Or why they did it?”

Eddie watched the blue blanket and told him, “Kids from town. I recognized them but I couldn’t tell you their names.” For a strange moment, Eddie looked like he was about to cry. But he didn’t. When he spoke his voice did not waver, “Andy, they called me queer.”

Andy winced and kept his eyes on their joined hands. “I was afraid–”

“You were right.” Eddie had venom in his voice. Was this his fault? If he and Eddie never… would Eddie be okay right now? “Andy, my family has no power here. My old man… What if someone comes to the house? What if someone tries to hurt Sheridan or–?”

“I don’t know.” He spoke too quickly, just as scared as Eddie, “I don’t know. But,” he tried to seem firm, putting on his Captain’s voice, “no one’s done that yet. We can’t go crazy over something that might not happen.”

Eddie laid back to look at the ceiling. To look anywhere but at Andy.

“Eddie, do you think Joe had something to do with this?”

Eddie hesitated. So, that was it. Joe wasn’t concerned, he was guilty.

“I’m gonna kill him.” Andy’s blood boiled. 

Eddie didn’t have an answer for that either. 

“Sheridan called me…” Eddie didn’t know, he didn’t understand how angry he was, “I was afraid you were gonna be dead before I made it down here. I kept thinking about what would’ve happened if–”

“You can’t dwell on any of it.” Eddie parroted to him. He looked at Andy now, venom gone cool and his face set. 

Andy sighed and dropped his head to Eddie’s chest. “Hillbilly,” he whined, “this isn’t what I wanted.”

Eddie placed a hand at the nape of his neck and scratched at the hairs there; it felt wrong, it was backwards.

Andy turned and put a kiss at the base of Eddie’s neck. He kissed him again and again until he was under Eddie’s jaw.

Eddie groaned. “You can’t be doing that to me,” he said, “not here.”

Andy kissed him again before saying into his neck, “I just want to make you feel good.”

“Don’t worry,” Eddie was stroking his back, “you do.”

Most of the night was spent in relative silence, Andy stroking Eddie’s hair while he fell in and out of sleep. Andy slept across the three chairs, but there was one half hour or so in which (at Eddie’s repeated requests) he hovered delicately over Eddie and kissed him until they were both breathless. He never settled down next to Eddie, although he wanted to; they were both too spooked. 

Morning came with Sheridan and Joe and a clean set of clothes for Eddie. A final examination and questioning from the doctor and Eddie was good to go. 

But Andy was not looking forward to getting Eddie dressed. 

Joe pulled out an undershirt, flannel, blue jeans, briefs, and a pair of boots. The briefs went on first without much incident. When the hospital gown came off, Andy got to see the full extent of Eddie’s injuries. There’d been light bruising along his neck and face, but that was nothing compared to the purples and blues that decorated Eddie’s chest and stomach. He looked like a water color painting. Andy found himself enraged all the more. 

Andy pointed out to Eddie that he didn’t have to wear the undershirt, that he could just shrug on the flannel, but as soon as the words were out Eddie contradicted him. Andy rolled his eyes and tried not to visibly flinch at the pained noise Eddie made when he reached above his head to slip it on. Joe stood behind Eddie and slid the sleeves of his flannel up his arms while Andy crouched to put on Eddie’s jeans. He helped him into his boots while he adjusted and buttoned his pants. It was obvious Eddie was pained to have to ask for such help, but Andy and Joe would not’ve taken no for an answer, regardless. When it was all done, Joe gave Andy a weary smile and Andy had to pull from the bottom of his gut to return it. He did not know if his anger was misplaced; the anger needed somewhere to go, nonetheless, and Joe was as good a target as anything. 

The ride home was quiet. Andy kept his hand as close to Eddie’s leg as he thought he could get away with. 

Andy helped him through the door and smiled as wide as Eddie did when the three youngest Joneses came tumbling toward them. Mama and Pop must’ve told them not to touch Eddie because each of them stopped mid-motion and looked suddenly rather nervous. Eddie smiled and it looked genuine; he held out one arm and the three took patient turns hugging him. Ruth squeezed her arms around Andy’s waist with all the force she wasn’t allowed to give to her brother. 

Mama appeared from the kitchen with a turkey sandwich for Eddie. He moved to enter the kitchen but Mama wouldn’t let him, saying that both he and Andy could go down to the basement. Eddie looked displeased, but who could argue with their mother at a time like that?

On his bed, Eddie crammed the whole sandwich in his mouth and ate it almost whole. Andy waited for the wise crack, waited for the cursing, waited for anything. But Eddie was unusually silent. He breathed in deep, fell back into his bed, and let out a half-pained groan. 

“Fuckin’ hospital bed was more comfortable than this piece of shit,” he said half into his pillow. 

Andy toed off his shoes and fished out a pair of Eddie’s pajama pants to wear. He sat on the end of Eddie’s bed and began undoing the laces on Eddie’s boots, as he tugged them off and went for his socks he heard Eddie object.

“Andy–”

“Shut up.”

Andy continued his melee assault. He rubbed little circles in the arches of Eddie’s feet, his ankles, the bottom of his calves. Eddie twitched and made a little noise of protest, but when Andy looked up, Eddie’s face was slack. He crawled up to lay beside him; they fit next to each other like two matchsticks. Andy couldn’t tell which of them was more afraid to touch the other. Regardless, the closeness was enough for now. They both fell asleep like that, both sets of feet hanging off the edge. 

When Andy woke it was dark out and Eddie still slept. Andy kissed an exposed strip of his neck and slipped off the bed; upstairs John and Frank were still lounging, so it must have been early still. He moved slowly, thinking about eating but also feeling too tired to bother. He smoked two cigarettes on the back porch, tried to find and name any constellations he could, but there weren’t many. 

He walked back inside to find the house almost entirely quiet. Frank and John must’ve gone to bed; Andy heard some nighttime noises coming from the hall. He walked into the family room, debating the effort to shower now or in the morning, but it didn’t matter. The door was closed. A moment’s hesitation had him standing, staring sideways at it from the top of the basement stairs when Joe exited dressed in his pajamas. 

He looked surprised to see Andy, he greeted him quietly, “Hi, Andy.”

Andy nodded, worrying the inside of his lip, “Joe.”

Joe looked uncomfortable, but Andy had no sympathy for him. He tried to wriggle his way past Andy, toward his own bedroom door, but Andy caught him by the arm in the last moment. 

“Eddie’s still sleeping,” Andy said in a low voice. Joe didn’t respond, so he continued, “The medicine you’re given when you sustain multiple injuries like this is strong. I’ve seen plenty of my men strung out on it. It will probably take twenty four hours to get out of his system completely.”

Joe nodded, and glanced down at his arm which Andy still held. 

“He’s not angry,” Andy paced his words, trying to find the very best ones to use. “Maybe he’s too tired to be, I don’t know. But Joe,” Andy paused here to collect himself, “you know what he told me when everybody left?”

Joe shook his head.

“They called him queer.” Andy could feel the anger rising in his throat like bile. He had to stop himself from raising his voice and ripping at Joe’s arm. “The guys who jumped him called him queer. And the crazy thing is,” he swallowed loudly, “well, what I think the crazy thing is, that he’s not concerned about himself. He’s scared for you.”

“For me?” Andy squeezed Joe’s arm when he raised his voice.

“For the whole family.” Andy let go of Joe’s arm, trusting him to stay. “Joe, word gets out about this, about why this happened, not just Eddie’s gonna need fixin’ up.”

“I didn’t–”

“This shit you’re pulling, it’s dangerous.”

All at once Joe was closer than he had been, crowding up to Andy, pushing him against the moulding of the door frame, “I’m not the one with another man. Wasn’t my sins that endangered this house.” He gave Andy a once over. 

Andy realized belatedly that he was still wearing Eddie’s pants. He felt as if he should be embarrassed, maybe he was, but he was angrier still. 

“Every house has secrets,” he said, “It’s up to us to keep each other safe.”

Joe was quiet a long time, looking from the floor to Andy’s shoulders and back again. He backed away slightly before saying, “I never told anyone, least, not directly.” 

Andy only waited for him to continue, “I said something–something stupid because I was upset. But I never said Eddie’s name. I never thought it would come back like this.”

“Yeah, well,” Andy said, looser than he’d been, “you gotta be careful. Those boys could be looking to hurt more than just Eddie.”

Joe nodded, “I’m sorry, Andy.”

Andy swallowed, but could only nod at Joe, not quite ready to forgive him. “Go to bed, Joe.”

He watched Joe as he walked into his bedroom and closed the door. Alone, he felt cold. He walked down the stairs and found Eddie sleeping; his shirt was gone, he must’ve been up at some point. The chill that rode in his spine blossomed out, made him shiver violently. 

His footsteps were nearly silent as he walked across the carpet, the bed didn’t groan as he climbed next to Eddie, and Eddie didn’t stir when Andy touched his arms. He really must’ve been on some strong stuff. 

Andy thumbed over the bruises on Eddie’s arms. There were purpled stripes cutting across his biceps; Andy could nearly match his fingers to them. The doctor had said Eddie’s fractured wrist had likely been from Eddie’s fighting back. He’d been proud when he heard that, despite the situation. Now, his gut rolled. He could see Eddie being held back by some nameless schmuck, getting punched in the ribs by another. Andy wondered if he’d lost consciousness before then or if he’d kept his head up in protest. Andy wondered if Eddie had been surprised to wake up in the hospital bed, thinking he’d be dead before he went under. 

He looked at Eddie’s hands. The skin was broken at the knuckles; the hospital staff had dressed the wounds, but they had opened again and bled. Given his past injuries, it was likely Eddie hardly noticed. 

The hen’s egg that had sat in Andy’s chest before was back, this time making its way up Andy’s throat to bubble out. He didn’t want to, fuck, he didn’t want to. He got up and sat on the stairs before it happened. Before the tears spilled over his cheeks and he had to suck air in by the gulp to get any. He was hiding, hoping he wouldn’t wake Eddie. He didn’t want this, didn’t want to be weak now, but he couldn’t keep all of his anger and worry and heartache. It was bound to flood out sometime.

He hugged his knees and wiped at his face with the heel of his palm. He let himself shake until the hen’s egg was gone. 

He didn’t know how long he’d been on the stairs when he crept down to sleep with Eddie. He laid on his back and willed himself to ease into the pillow underneath him. 

“Did you get rid of it?” He heard Eddie say. Andy winced. Damn it. “Whatever you needed out?”

Andy didn’t answer, just pressed his eyes closed and breathed out harshly through his nose. He felt Eddie rest his head on his stomach. Andy’s hand came down to flick through Eddie’s hair, then it ran a trail down his arm, stuttering and rubbing at the lines on his bicep. 

“Don’t worry about it.”  Eddie said, “I’m fine.”

Andy sputtered out a disbelieving laugh. He changed the subject by a hair’s breadth. “Your knuckles came open, you should clean them.”

“I don’t think I can move,” Eddie admitted. 

“That’s actually–” Andy shifted to look at Eddie, “You need to take a shower.”

“I do?”

“Your muscles are already gonna hurt like Hell. Taking a shower will help.” Andy said, “Plus, you need to clean your cuts.”

Eddie groaned his protest. But Andy stood up.

“The rest of the house is asleep,” he reasoned, “come on.”

He helped Eddie sit up; Eddie was pouting. Still leant over him, Andy kissed him, he couldn’t help it. He meant only to do it once, but Eddie touched his shoulders and he got lost in it. Maybe he could use this as an incentive. He pulled Eddie up, soothing him when he winced at the pain. 

As they made for the stairs, Andy said, “If you don’t fight me too hard, I’ll figure out a way to reward you.”

“I can think of a few rewards that might be appropriate,” Eddie tossed back. 

In the bathroom, Andy flicked on the light and left Eddie to sit on the edge of the tub. Andy drew the water, waited for it to warm, and turned to Eddie, holding out his hands expectantly.

“What?”

“You usually take a shower with clothes on?” 

That earned him a smirk, but Eddie’s cheeks turned red and he looked away. 

“Eddie, come on.” Andy asked, quietly, “It’s not like I haven’t seen you before.”

“I know, but–” But it’s different. Andy hadn’t seen Eddie naked since they’d been, whatever you’d call this. And now Eddie was painted blue and purple. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. Andy knew that, but it couldn’t be helped now. 

“I know. But that’s not what this is about.” Andy dropped his hands by his sides.

“I could be. It could easily be,” Eddie was defensive. 

“It’s not.” Andy’s voice was punched out of him, “Jesus, I wouldn’t–”

“I didn’t think you would,” Eddie’s voice became quiet, “I’m just saying.”

Andy bit the inside of his lip before nodding. He knelt, square on his knees, in front of Eddie and held his hands out again. “The water’s gonna run cold.”

Eddie let Andy undress him. It was a struggle; Andy kissed him behind his ear each time an article of clothing came off. The shower was hot when Eddie got under it and he sucked in a breath at the berating pain of the steady stream of water. Andy figured it was probably good for him, though. Eddie washed his hair, arms stiff and hardly able to reach the crown of his head. He could wash his arms and most of his torso, but after several failed attempts to reach his legs he sighed aloud and looked at Andy. 

“I don’t think I can…” his voice was soft like before.

Andy stood, saying, “Do you mind if I help?”

“You’re gonna have to, regardless.” He sounded half aggravated, but he wore a shy smile. 

Andy quickly shucked out of his clothes, refusing to think of anything but the task at hand. This was something medical, professional. The implications of what this could be, what Eddie or Andy were comfortable with, they didn’t matter. Not here. 

Andy slipped into the shower next to Eddie and had him turn around. He worked at his back, cleaning any cuts visible until they were clean and pink, and rubbing at the stiff muscles. He felt every time Eddie sucked in a breath or stiffened to stifle any reaction to the pain. As Andy went over a particularly dark area he heard Eddie let out a whimpering sound. Andy found Eddie’s left hand where it was resting on the shower wall and covered it with his own; he twined their fingers together lightly. 

“Feet apart,” he said and nudged at Eddie’s calf with his foot. 

Eddie obeyed. Andy was forced to let go of his hand as he knelt on the ground. He worked at Eddie’s legs, spent several minutes cleaning a particularly rough gash on the inside of his right thigh. Eddie yelped then and had Andy gushing out apologies. When he’d finished he sat back and took a deep breath.

“You’re gonna need to turn around,” he said, hoping his voice didn’t sound as remorseful as it felt.

A long moment passed in which Eddie did nothing, just held his hands to the wall and let his head hang. Andy watched his shoulders move with a sigh before he turned around. His face was flushed; Andy knew it was painful to be seen like this. Eddie stared resolutely ahead, blinking only when the water ran into the corners of his eyes. 

Trying to be respectful, Andy focused only on Eddie’s shins as he minded the darker areas, smoothing over the length of them when he had finished cleaning. He repeated the process at Eddie’s thighs. 

At Eddie’s hips, Andy had to pause. Try as he might, there was no missing the stark discoloration of Eddie’s groin. From hip bone to hip bone, Eddie was about thirteen different shades of purple. 

Eddie must have noticed Andy’s hesitation, because he huffed out a cold sounding laugh  before he said, “Yeah, they stamped me pretty good.”

Andy looked up to read Eddie’s face but he was still gazing straight ahead. Eddie’s words rolled through him like ice, made his throat work in sudden nausea. Really, he shouldn’t have been surprised, he could’ve guessed that the men who did this would’ve taken a special interest in injuring Eddie’s genitals. Still, he couldn’t help the anger and pity that blazed through him. 

Swallowing it down, he stood and met Eddie’s eyes. He said nothing, but reached for a washcloth behind Eddie and then took his battered right hand in both of his. He took extreme and precise care as he wiped away the blood collected on his knuckles and rubbed at the wounds until the water made them glisten with pink. 

Eddie carded his left hand through Andy’s hair. The affection, the comfort, toward him, even as Andy cared for Eddie, made something prickling and orange burst in Andy’s chest. He pressed forward and kissed Eddie, giving him all the heart he possibly could. It hurt, almost, to care for someone this much. 

He broke away and said, forehead pressed to Eddie’s, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Andy shook his head, swallowing the sob he knew was coming, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t,” said Eddie. Andy could hear his hurt too, “Just, don’t make me think about it. Help me think about something else.”

Andy nodded. He could do that.

He kissed Eddie again, held his face in both hands. Then he turned off the water and brought Eddie downstairs. Both only bothered to wrap towels around themselves. 

He guided Eddie to the bed, had him sit on the foot, and leaned over him to kiss him. Andy felt lost in Eddie as he touched Andy’s cheek, traced over his collarbones with his fingertips, pressed his hands to his waist. Andy angled his head and deepened the kiss, earning a satisfied hum from Eddie. He ran his fingers through Eddie’s curls and held the back of his neck gently. 

Eddie pulled on his shoulders, laid backward and had Andy follow him. They maneuvered themselves to the top of the bed. Eddie tugged Andy’s towel away and took interest in dragging his dull fingernails across the newly exposed skin of Andy’s hips. Andy shivered at the sensation and felt Eddie’s proud smile against his lips. 

Emboldened, Andy straddled Eddie’s still towel-clad hips. He kept himself on his hands and knees, however, not daring to put his weight on Eddie. Eddie gripped the back of Andy’s thighs tightly as Andy nipped at his bottom lip. Andy kissed underneath his jaw, slowly making his way to Eddie’s ear where he bit at the shell. Eddie made the smallest noise and dragged his hands from Andy’s thighs all the way up his back to dig his nails into Andy’s shoulders. 

Andy worked at Eddie’s neck, pressing open mouthed kisses along it, scraping his teeth in a soft bite at the base. Eddie made a pleased noise and arched into Andy. Andy smirked and repeated the bite, only just harder; Eddie moaned aloud this time. 

Andy pulled away to look at Eddie who was now running his hands along Andy’s arms. His cheeks and chest were flushed and Andy could see a small red mark on his neck. It would be faded by morning. 

He lowered himself slightly, now lightly pressed to Eddie from chest to hip. He tilted to get at the other side of Eddie’s neck. He nosed along it gently before biting down at the juncture between shoulder and neck. In response, Eddie made a noise, loud and sharp, and yanked Andy’s head back by his hair, earning him a similar noise in return. 

For a moment, Andy felt wild. He pulled away Eddie’s towel and ran his hand up his thigh. Eddie never looked away from him, even as the motion wracked a shudder from him. Andy made to grasp at Eddie, but Eddie suddenly looked panicked and reached for Andy’s wrist. 

“No, don’t,” he said, “It–it’ll hurt now.”

Andy brought his hand away, held it hovering in the air. The anger and pity was back, this time however, Andy brought his face down to kiss Eddie for all he was worth. He kissed Eddie until he was breathless, punctuating the kisses with soft apologies, barely audible against Eddie’s mouth. He didn’t know if he was apologizing for his unthinking behavior or for the entire situation. 

Eventually, Eddie brought his hands up to hold Andy’s head. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he said between shallow kisses. 

Andy nodded, his breaths coming shallow, and held himself there for a moment. Then, all at once, he slid off to the side. Left his right leg draped over Eddie’s and linked their fingers together. 

Eddie brought those fingers to his lips and kissed each one before letting go of Andy’s hand and reaching down between Andy’s legs.

“No,” Andy grasped his wrist as Eddie had his, “When we do this, we’re gonna do it right. Not like this.” He looked square at Eddie and waited for him to say something or look away. Instead, Eddie came forward and gave Andy a chaste kiss on the lips. 

“I love you,” he said. 

Whatever had prickled, orange at Andy’s chest earlier, rose in him now. He couldn’t speak; he was certain Eddie had stolen all coherent thought from him. In a delayed response, he took Eddie’s hand in his and kissed at the knuckles he’d cleaned earlier. Eddie smiled at him. 

Eddie turned so Andy could curl around him. Andy wrapped his arm around Eddie’s waist as tightly as he dared; he snaked his other arm beneath Eddie so he could hold him completely, protect him. He nuzzled himself into the light hair at the back of Eddie’s neck. 

“I love you, Eddie.”

Eddie squeezed his hand and curled in tighter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things to know:  
> 1\. The boys who beat Eddie stole his Saint Christopher medal.  
> 2\. That's all but they're fucking evil.  
> ALSO  
> 3\. The account from Sledge about Eddie trying to calm the boy with the nightmare is from his memoir. He said something along the lines of "Lt. Jones tried to talk him down desperately and he looked as if he were in pain." He said it hurt to watch.


	6. Two Healing

Andy woke with one arm still wrapped around Eddie, feeling stiff and his skin dull with sleep. He didn’t open his eyes at first, taking in the warmth and comfort he felt here, even if the bed was too small and he felt slightly sticky with sweat. When he remembered, it felt impossible to determine how long he’d laid there, forgetful of yesterday, but when he remembered it came back quickly and made him cringe and squeeze Eddie in his arm. Just, he supposed, to remind himself that he was there at all. 

A whine and a grumble met him. He felt Eddie’s muscles tense to move, and then heard the muffled shout of pain Eddie made. 

“Don’t bother trying to move,” he said into his neck, “you won’t be able to.”

Trying again, Eddie huffed before dropping his weight onto the bed. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know, uh,” Andy turned and grabbed his watch on the bedside table. Bringing it close to his face, he read, “11:30.”

“Fuck, I’m surprised no one’s come down to check on us yet.”

Andy hummed and tucked himself back into Eddie, “‘m glad they haven’t.”

Turning, Eddie groaned. He laid on his back and held Andy to him. 

“You shouldn’t’ve done that,” Andy chided. 

“I wanted to be able to see you.” Eddie yawned, Andy saw his eyelids flutter. He pushed into him to catch his smell and feel the stretch of his muscles around him. 

“We can sleep more,” his eyes were closing too and sleep pulled on him with a strong grip. 

 

Andy woke a second time around noon. He realized, belatedly, that he and Eddie were both still naked from last night. Standing, he dressed himself in sleep pants and an undershirt; he took out something similar for Eddie to wear when he woke. 

His stomach growled and forced him up the stairs. There he found Mama and Pop at the kitchen table, not doing much of anything. When Mama saw Andy shuffle in she stood immediately and began to offer him food. “You must be starving,” she said. 

“Yeah, I kind of am,” he confessed, too exhausted to turn down a meal. 

“Is he up yet?” Mama asked.

Andy sat down at the table across from Pop and let his head rest in his hands, “No, not really,” he answers. “He wakes up every now and then and falls right back to sleep.”

“He’ll be doing that for a while, I expect.” Pop spoke as he pressed his newspaper flat to the table. Mama laid a steaming bowl of some kind of potato soup in front of Andy and he began to eat without preface.

For a few minutes there was silence and Mama was visibly tense. Andy looked at her, giving her the chance to speak.

She seemed to understand Andy could read her. She said, “I just don’t understand. Eddie’s never done a thing to anyone here.”

There was the thought of her son, Joe; Andy still blamed him. He wanted to say it, but Mama’s heart was breaking for Eddie. It would break for Joe, too.

“Bad things happen to good people, Anna.” Pop answered for him. 

Mama didn’t look completely satisfied with that but she turned her ministrations on Andy. “Is the soup good, sweetheart? I can get you something else if you like.”

“No, ma’am,” Andy replied, “this is very good. I think I’ll bring some down to Eddie, make him eat.”

Standing, Mama made a bowl for Eddie before Andy had hardly finished. Before going downstairs again he asked, “Could I use your telephone to call my father? I’d like to talk to him about my work.” Pop assured him he ccould and Mama helped him out of the room to give Andy privacy. Andy dialed the Massachusetts number and listened for the phones to connect. It’s his mother who picked up. 

“Hello?” her voice rang through uncertain.

“Mom? It’s me, Andy.”

“Andy?” His mother asked, “Where are you calling from?”

“It’s uh–I’m in West Virginia,” Andy scraped the back of his thumbnail across him forehead in search for what to tell her, “Eddie needed me to come down.” Before she could ask what for Andy said, “Could you get Dad? I need to talk to him.”

Andy’s mother seemed to be thrown from her rhythm, but she agreed and Andy heard the shuffle of the receiver. 

“Hello, Andy?”

It surprised Andy, the palpable relief he felt at hearing his father’s voice. He leaned forward onto the kitchen counter and sighed.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Dad. We’re–I’m okay,” Andy replied, closing his eyes. “Eddie–Eddie was put into the hospital and his family asked me to come down.”

Dad’s response was an immediate, “Is Eddie alright? What happened?”

“Yeah, he’s okay, I suppose relatively speaking. He was jumped.”

“Oh, my God.”

“Yeah, and,” Andy continued, “I need to take some days off work. I’m not sure how long.”

His Dad hummed and Andy knew he was nodding and picking his lip, “I understand,” he said, “Can you send word when you do figure out how long you’ll be gone.”

“Yeah, of course,” Andy twisted to lean back against the counter, “It should only be a matter of a few days.”

“Tell the Jones I’m sorry.”

“Alright, Dad.”

When the line disconnected Andy was left with a buzzing in his ear to help numb his bubbling thoughts. He hung up the phone and took the soup Mama poured out for Eddie, still warm. He passed Mama and Pop sitting in the family room as he made his way back.

He could hear Eddie making a discontented noise as he neared the bottom of the stairs. 

“Ack Ack?” he called.

“I’m here,” Andy replied softly. He sat on Eddie’s side of the bed and set the soup down so he could help Eddie sit up. He let out a groan and shot Andy an irritated look when he unthinkingly tried to soothe him. “Just,” Andy practically shoved the soup into Eddie’s hand, “eat this. Your mother made it.”

Eddie snorted, “No kidding, I thought you spent hours on it.”

But Eddie did eat, almost all of the soup before he replaced it on the nightstand. He reached for Andy’s hand and Andy gave it willingly; the warmth of Eddie’s palm and the roughness of his fingers bled into him slowly. Eddie stroked a thumb over the top of his hand. 

“How are you feeling?” asked Andy and brushed the matted curls from Eddie’s forehead. 

“Like I could use another round of whatever the hospital gave me,” Eddie sounded short of breath as he shifted. Andy saw that he hadn’t dressed himself and, without words, began to help Eddie into the undershirt and sleep pants. Whatever protest Eddie may have made, he must’ve known it was more important to dress than to assert his independence. Independence he didn’t have at this point, thought Andy. 

“You think you could sleep again?” Andy asked as he bunched up the shirt to fit over Eddie’s arms. 

“Not right now,” Eddie’s voice was muffled underneath the collar of his shirt, “pain keeps waking me up.”

Andy winced in sympathy, “Maybe I can find some booze to help you out later, if you’re not feeling any better.”

“For that, I promise I won’t feel any better.” 

 

The next hour was spent redressing Eddie’s wounds, talking, and joking despite the situation. Sometime after two o’clock, Andy sent his father a telegram stating that he would be staying the next two days. Eddie had insisted Andy get back to his work. 

Upon his return to the house, Ruth sprang up to him. 

“Captain Haldane!” Her little toes overlapped his, she stood so close, “is my brother okay?”

Unable to stop himself, Andy stooped and picked her up, placing her on a cocked hip. “He’s just fine, sweetheart. You wanna see him?”

Ruth nodded and snuggled into his side. Andy carried her down to Eddie, calling out, “You have a visitor!” as he descended. 

Eddie sat up against the headboard of his bed; Andy caught the brief confused expression before the joy Eddie shown upon seeing his sister. Placing Ruth squarely in Eddie’s lap, Andy laughed. “She asked me if you were okay,” he explained. 

Eddie carefully tucked a lock of hair behind Ruth’s ear and gave her the smile reserved only for her, “Of course I’m okay, darlin’,” she laid her head on his chest, “even better now that you’re here.”

Andy was transfixed. Sitting on his side of the bed, he was certain there was nothing more beautiful than the sight of Eddie so obviously in love with this little girl. The sound of their whispered conversation and the feeling of Eddie’s low laughter filled Andy with a prickling lightness he wished would follow him forever. 

He must have dozed because in the next moment Eddie was shaking his shoulder and Ruth was gone. “Shit,” he said, wiping his mouth, voice strained by his stretching, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Eddie shrugged, “It’s easy to do when you lie around in bed all day.”

“Are you hungry or thirsty or anything?” asked Andy, standing up and walking backwards toward the stairs.

“No,” answered Eddie, “You know I’m not helpless, right?” 

“Haven’t seen you out of bed today.” It was a quip, a joke, not a challenge. But Andy watched as Eddie slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed, stood, and walked to him. He looked up the stairs, the door was closed. Eddie was smiling, but Andy could see he was breathing hard, trying to hold himself at full height; Andy felt pity clench in his stomach. 

Eddie moved, perhaps to touch Andy, but did so too fast and let out a yelp and grasped at his side. He fell forward slightly and Andy steadied him with an arm around his middle. Eddie’s face was screwed up in pain.

“Let’s go back to bed,” suggested Andy.

Eddie remained where he was and audibly worked to control his breathing. “No,” he said, “I don’t want to be down here anymore. Help me up the stairs.”

Andy conceded and guided Eddie up the staircase, listening when he gasped in pain and feeling the twitching of his muscles as they tried so desperately to push him forward. Eddie sat on the couch when they finally made it up, easing down onto it, and smiling as the house seemed to erupt with motion. Ruth, Frank, and John came from the kitchen and Joe emerged from his bedroom. Each touched Eddie someway, a hand on his knee, on his side, on his head. Ruth sat on the floor with her back against his legs, which seemed to bother Eddie none. Andy saw him settle into his seat, listen to his siblings chat and bicker. He kept his distance, talked politely with Joe, and interacted with the three youngest when they tugged on his pant leg, or called out, “Captain Haldane!”

Dinner was served at five in the kitchen because Eddie refused to eat in the family room, even while his mother assured him doing so wouldn’t be a problem. Afterward, Andy helped clean and watched as the family filed out.

“Wanna smoke?” Eddie asked Andy when everyone was gone. 

Andy nodded, “Yeah, sure.” He went to the basement to retrieve his own pack of cigarettes and returned to find Eddie already sitting outside, the back door left open. He closed it behind him and sat to Eddie’s left; he took time in lighting Eddie and himself a cigarette and watched their feet swing as they dangled from the porch. 

The sun had set, but the sky was still a deep blue. When Eddie’s hand rested on his knee, the burning, orange tip drew his eye with bright contrast. They each smoked through one cigarette, Eddie reaching into Andy’s pocket for a second before they spoke. 

“I’ve been thinking,” began Eddie. He took a very slow drag, “I’ve been thinking we should tell them.” Even as he said this, he continued to look outward toward something Andy couldn’t see. 

Looking at him, cigarette between his lips, Andy hummed in question. 

“I’m gonna tell them why those kids beat me.”

Andy’s skin grew hot, “What? Why?”

Eddie took the cigarette from his mouth and looked at Andy, “I’ve made them a target,” he said, “They deserve to know.”

Andy’s brow furrowed together and he leaned away from Eddie, “A target? What are you talking about?”

“You know that those people could have it out for my family, too.” Eddie replied immediately. 

“No,” Andy said, “I don’t”

Eddie sucked on his cigarette and opened his mouth to speak but Andy’s mind was racing. He spoke before Eddie could. 

“What does telling them help?” He heard his voice raise in volume and he tried to control himself. 

Eddie didn’t look angry, still only determined, “If they get hurt, they deserve to know why.”

Andy felt too hot. He felt panic rise in him and, in an attempt to get away from it, he stood and said, “What is this? A month ago you were telling me you couldn’t stand to have them know.” He didn’t care if his voice rose. 

“That was before I thought they were in danger.” Eddie was a calm man, never faltering when Andy asked something of him, when his men needed him. When angry, he didn’t shout, his voice steeled. 

Andy was pacing, “What danger? Eddie, this isn’t–”

Andy watched as Eddie pulled himself up to match him, “Those kids could come looking for me or for my brothers or–”

“You can’t.”

Eddie’s eyes grew wild; Andy hated that look, hated that he was the one who put it there. 

Andy said, “You are not the only person with something to hide.” Why would Eddie do this to them? 

“You can’t tell me our secret is more important than their safety.” Eddie, such quiet man, raised his voice then. 

“Safety from something you’re making up!” Andy stepped into his space, “Something that won’t happen.”

“How can you know, _Captain?_ ” 

Andy’s voice broke, “Don’t do that.” he begged, “Don’t put this on me as if I’m trying to control you. I’m trying to protect you–us.” His voice became louder as he desperately tried to get Eddie to understand, “You don’t know how they’ll take it. You could lose your home, Eddie!”

“Boys.” The voice came from the house.

It was Mama, her tone calm but her eyes widened in either warning or shock, Andy couldn’t tell. She must’ve heard, they were shouting so loudly. If she understood what Andy feared, she said nothing, but it was obvious in her face she thought they ought to go to bed. 

Andy opened his arms to allow Eddie to lean on him, but Eddie moved away from him, refusing to be helped down the stairs. Following him, Andy apologized to Mama quietly and found himself unable to look at her or at Eddie.

They did not speak for the rest of the night, but the tension bled from the silence quickly. The argument wasn’t done, but no more was discussed that night. Eventually, Andy slept and he dreamed of Eddie’s beating before waking up to Eddie shaking his arm. When he gasped awake he’d forgotten about the argument and clutched at Eddie’s shoulder and came back to him. When he understood where he was he heard Eddie say his name and felt him pull Andy flush to him. Andy felt a pang of guilt in his throat a moment before he fell into sleep again. 

The morning came without more incident and with Eddie’s hand laced through Andy’s hair. He could feel his nails scratching lightly at his scalp and he could feel the lines of his legs twined with his. Andy never wanted to be taken away from this. 

After a long time, Andy ventured, “Are you going to tell them?”

In lieu of an answer Eddie said, “I want to protect them.”

Protection, Andy understood. At war, Andy felt nothing more than the intense desire to keep each of his men under his wing, to keep them from the death that followed them. He felt this desire most strongly with Eddie. If Eddie had died…

And maybe that was what love felt like. Regardless of the relationship, love for Andy was simply the overwhelming urge to protect. 

“I won’t take that away from you.”

 

In the coming days, Eddie made no attempt to tell his family and neither argued about it. At the very least, it seemed to Andy that fighting may keep Eddie from healing as he should. He helped Eddie in any way he would let him, helping him up the stairs and getting him water. When they talked, sitting cross-legged on Eddie’s bed, Andy would take Eddie’s arm in his hands and rub the tension out of it. Every time he did this, Eddie would complain before giving into the relief it gave him. Andy was glad Eddie let him have this one way of loving him. 

“I ache straight through to my fingers and toes,” Eddie said one evening as he watched Andy carefully press his fingers into his forearm. “Thank you for this.” He placed a firm hand on Andy’s thigh. 

Andy nodded, “You’re welcome,” he said, “I want to make you feel good.”

Eddie ducked his head and caught his eye, “You do,” he assured, “you do.” He took ahold of Andy by the waist and the upper arm and guided them back toward the head of the bed. All of a sudden, Andy was back in the hospital, lying with Eddie on the cotton blanket; all of a sudden, he was back by the stream, kissing Eddie for the first time. The part of his body that pressed on Eddie, he held up, but he still felt the need to touch all of him that he could. He pushed Eddie’s shirt up, smoothing a hand across the soft skin of his bruised belly, felt the heat there, brushed the back of his knuckles along the light hair of his chest. Painted blue and purple, it was easy to see Eddie and think of the sky or the ocean; Andy thought of Homer’s wine-dark sea. God created the sky and the sea with as much love and care as he created Eddie, and how perfectly knit together he was. And, really, God could have the sea, the sky, and every star in it; Andy only wanted Eddie. 

“Andy, I want to kiss you.” Andy heard it, almost from above him. He looked at Eddie, who looked expectant in a way that might kill him, not entirely sure of what he was saying. When he understood, Andy nodded and brought his mouth to Eddie’s, feeling with satisfaction the intake of breath from Eddie’s nose. Eddie kissed him again with a softness Andy didn’t understand. How could a man so hurt be so gentle?

“I love you.”

Andy heard him say it and felt his lips move against his mouth. With his eyes closed, Andy felt the way Eddie’s body breathed the words into him. 

“I’ve been yours for so long now,” Eddie continued with his hand gliding up Andy’s arm to the back of his neck, “How could I love anything as much as I love you–”

Andy caught the end of his thought with a harsh kiss, holding the back of his head with one hand. Words were impossible but he could show Eddie his love with this. He could give everything he was to him. 

When he came to himself, he said, “I will never leave you. You could tell them that I love you tomorrow and I would still be yours as much as I am now.”

Eddie moved beneath him to flip them both, pressing into him. Andy knew he was weak; he could feel him shaking around him, trying to hold himself up. Andy encouraged him to fall onto him, pulling at his waist. Eddie kissed from the corner of Andy’s mouth to the base of his neck, moved against him minutely, before he tucked his face into Andy’s chest, seeming to tire all at once.

Andy eased them to their sides, facing each other. Eddie breathed heavily and traced his fingers along the lines of Andy’s lips. Eyes closed, mouth open, Andy felt nothing but Eddie where they touched.

“Let’s stay like this,” Andy said, hooking an arm around Eddie’s waist to hold him as close as he could, “Let’s get a house somewhere no one will find us, or somewhere Japan can’t follow us.”

Eddie sounded pained, “Andy–”

“I want a home with you.” Andy’s eyes came open. Eddie made some negative noise so Andy dropped the subject. He knew it hurt to talk about; it was as if they had to mourn the life they’d never have. Reaching down, Andy pulled the blanket up to their chins and in the warmth, almost fell asleep before he heard Eddie speak.

“What would it look like?”

“What?”

“The house. What would it look like?”

Andy thought for a short moment, happiness blossoming in his chest, “We’d live somewhere small, with gardens,” he said, “I want gardens all around it. And a porch to smoke on.”

“And rocking chairs to get old in.”

Andy took his time in kissing Eddie. “We’ll grow old. We get to grow old, now.”

 

Before the train came and took Andy back north, he and Eddie sat alone in a corner of the back porch, the evening shadows hiding them away. Andy wore wool pants and a cotton shirt he loved, though he had yet to put on shoes, even in the cold. Eddie’s feet were also bare and he wore an undershirt, smoking his third cigarette. He watched Andy work as he redressed the cuts on his hands, the white bandages almost glowing in the dark. When Andy looked up to meet his eye, he took the cigarette from Eddie’s lips and finished the thing for him. 

Eddie held his hands as he kissed him, Andy felt over the rough edge of the bandages and where Eddie’s skin came to meet them. He touched the striped bruises on his biceps. He touched the stubble on his cheek. He imagined kissing Eddie in the light; he imagined giving Eddie something better than aloneness. 

But the train came, took him away. He went back to work and back to Snafu. 

 

Two weeks from then, he received a letter. Inside the envelope were two things. 

 

1\. A note from Eddie which read

_Ack Ack,_

_It has room enough for gardens._

 

2\. A clipping from a newspaper listing a lot of land for sale in Virginia. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry I haven't posted until now! I got sick for like three weeks (still not completely recovered, honestly). School is killing me, also my mental health has taken a bit of a turn. I'm working on it.   
> Anyway, I love these two and I'm working on wrapping all of this up. I love you guys, too! I would love some encouragement, and even if you don't feel fit to give it, just reading this would make my life.   
> Thank you for your patience!


	7. Families

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I bet you were wondering when this was going to get explicit.

Andy went to his parents’ house from the train station. He was tired and he wanted rest, but more than that he wanted comfort. It took longer to get to their house than his apartment and the cab fare was more expensive, but when his mother greeted him at the door, he was sure it was worth it. 

“Andrew!” He was surprised to hear his full name. He must’ve looked worse than he realized. 

“Hi, Ma.” Andy said softly with a weary smile. His mother took his bag from him and ushered him inside. Without protest from Andy, he was placed on the couch and given buttered bread, like when he sick as a child. 

His father came into the room and, upon seeing Andy, put his hands in his pockets and studied him from under his brow. Andy remembered that look from his childhood, coming home early from school, tear-stained and angry. 

_“Are you going to tell me what they said?”_

_Andy hadn’t replied, only furiously wiped at his cheeks with a fist and and watched as his father’s feet came into view before he crouched to look him in the eye._

_“Andrew, you can’t do this. You can’t hurt for everybody else.”_

Now, he looked his father in the eye and heard him ask, “How is he?”

Andy breathed deeply before falling back into the couch, “He’s… I don’t know. He’s hurting but–he’ll be okay, I guess.”

His mother came to sit beside him; she rubbed at his back the same way she always had. His father asked, “And how are you?”

He opened his mouth to say he was fine, because he was. He hadn’t been beaten. But the words didn’t come; his shoulders shuddered with a heavy breath and he shook his head. His father seemed to understand, however; he nodded and touched the top of Andy’s head.

Andy let his mother comfort him; he let himself pretend he was a kid. He fell asleep against her shoulder and woke to the smell of dinner. He shuffled into the kitchen and was grateful to be greeted with a quiet meal and no more questions. When he left for the night, his mother kissed his cheek and his father hugged him.

Sleeping that night was a chore. He slept on his side with a pillow tucked against his chest, hoping it might ease the pain of Eddie’s absence. When he woke, he couldn’t remember any dreams, but he felt unrested and stiff. A walk in the morning air and a cup of coffee helped, but without Eddie he felt sore and tired; he found himself thinking more about Eddie’s healing wounds than about his work or his own actions. He nearly stepped on Snafu twice, luckily, the little thing was too nimble to be caught under his foot. 

“I’m sorry, buddy,” Andy said as he scooped him up from the floor and held him to his chest with one hand, “I promise I’m not trying to hurt you.” Snafu kneaded into his arm and purred. 

The upcoming two weeks were spent in groggy routine. Andy settled into it naturally, if not with some boredom. He spent warm evenings inside, listening to the radio and reading while Snafu prodded around his ankles. He felt a lonely sort of happiness; it became easy to lie by himself and think of Eddie’s warmth. He wondered if writing him would help. 

Checking his mailbox to find a letter from Eddie sent the loneliness straight out of him. He dashed back up the stairs into his apartment as quickly as his legs would carry him, sat squarely on his bed, and tore the thing open. 

 

_Ack Ack,_

_It has room enough for gardens._

 

The clipping of the lot of land fell from inside the folded letter. Picking it up, Andy read it and felt his neck grow hot and his stomach drop away. He felt wonderful, he felt hopeful, and then he felt scared. Did Eddie want to live with him, truly? Could that even be achieved? He supposed the answer was _yes_. But they would have to live away from their families, away from anyone. Did he want that? To be alone beside Eddie?

If Eddie would have him, he supposed the answer was _yes_.

He couldn’t possibly wait to hear from Eddie again by letter. He called him on the telephone. When Eddie’s voice came through the line, clear and solid, Andy couldn't help but blurt out, “Are you sure?”

“Andy?”

“It’s a lot of work,” Andy continued, “It’s gonna be–I want this, Eddie. Are you sure?”

“I–” Eddie sounded shocked, “Yes, I’m sure.”

Andy let his head fall against the cabinets of the kitchen. “We’d have to lie. I mean, I don’t see how we could…”

“I’m not sure,” Eddie agreed and Andy could see the way he slouched down and played with the phone cord. “But I, I want to try.”

Andy nodded, “We can.”

Eddie let out a little relieved sounding laugh and it filled Andy’s heart. 

“Is anyone with you?”

He heard Eddie swallow and say, “No, no, I’m alone.”

“Eddie, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Eddie had to leave when his father returned, but both agreed to discuss it further soon. In the meantime, Andy’s heart beat the same way it had when he’d been hit on Peleliu, but now he couldn’t stop smiling. He felt light and excited, felt giddy, even. 

He kept the letter and clipping in his breast pocket where he felt they belonged and the following days were spent in a happy daze. 

 

Later, when work became boring again and he found little to do but walk about town, Andy visited his brother. Bill lived in a little house one city over with his wife Evelyn and his son Daniel. Now three months old, he looked much more like a person to Andy and he couldn’t resist the urge to hold and cuddle him. Bill laughed at him a bit, as he cooed and nuzzled Daniel, but Andy couldn’t be brought to mind. 

They sat in the family room, talking, and Evelyn tried to get him water or food, but Andy didn’t want her to wait on him. He was happy to see his family and hold his nephew. Daniel slept, mostly, but when he woke and snuffled, Andy bounced and rocked him back into a lull. 

“So,” Bill said, “Mom told me about your friend. How’s he doing?”

“Eddie’s alright.” Andy replied, trying not to dwell on it, “He’s got some healing to do, but he’ll be okay.”

Bill nodded and sipped at the coffee he held. “I’m sorry that happened to him.”

“Me, too.”

Their talking was easy and Andy felt comfortable in his brother’s warm home. Evelyn was sweet; Andy loved her as much as he loved his brother.

“How’s he been?” He asked her.

“Daniel’s been wonderful,” she said, looking down at her son, “it’s a big change, but he’s worth every bit of it.” 

Andy looked at Daniel, snuggled close to him and thought, _Hear that, little fella? Mama loves you so much._

It took him by surprise, the sudden thought that this was what a family looked like. He thought of Mr. and Mrs. Jones, they made another family. Mother, father, children. 

When Evelyn took Daniel upstairs to be fed, Andy found himself asking, without much preemptive thought, “Bill, do you enjoy being married?”

“Yes.” The answer came in an instant with no hesitation. 

“What about it do you enjoy?”

“I love Evelyn. She’s my best friend–And there’s no one I’d rather have as my partner, you know?” Bill takes a breath in and shifts in his seat, “She’s not just my wife, I mean, she’s not just the girl I decided to go steady with. She’s my partner, she supports me.” He held Andy’s gaze and nodded to him. 

“And you support her?”

“Andy, are you going to get married?”

Andy actually laughed out loud; the noise got startled out of him. “No,” he said, “No, there’s no one out there who wants to marry me.”

“Then why all the questions?” pressed Bill.

“I don’t know,” Andy let himself fall back into his seat, “I was just curious.” He watched Bill for a long time, who didn’t say anything. Just leaned his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. He looked just like their father, Andy thought. Maybe that was what happened when you became a father.

After the silence, Bill said, “You’ll find someone, Andy. Someone you love. And you’ll marry her.”

Wanting to indulge him, Andy asked, “How will I know she’s who I’m supposed to marry.”

“You won’t.”

That answer made Andy strangely happy. It felt right, that he shouldn’t know, that love was something to be feared, something to be embraced because of your fear. Bill smiled and laughed at him as if he could read his thoughts. Andy loved his brother.

 

His mother found it on a Tuesday, when she came over for a lunch date, and when Andy left the note and clipping on the table as he went to change shirts. Mom came in and called his name.

“I’ll be right there, Ma!” he replied from his bedroom. He came into the kitchen and opened his mouth to greet his mom, but stopped short, a stone in his stomach. She had the note in her hands and looked to the clipping on the counter. 

“What’s this?” She turned to face him, a crease between her eyebrows. 

Andy’s first reaction was, “It’s nothing, Ma.”

She continued to look at the note; Andy could tell she was reading and rereading it. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Andy tried again.

“That makes me worry about it, Andrew.” His mother looked to him sharply. Her voice became softer again, “Tell me what this is.” 

“It’s…” Andy knew he couldn’t lie to a mother. He couldn’t tell her the truth, either. “I’m thinking of moving.”

“And when were you planning to tell your parents about this?”

“I hadn’t gotten that far.”

His mother sat down at his little table and looked up at him before saying, “Virginia’s a long way.”

Andy braced one hand on the back of a chair, the other on his hip, “Yeah, it is.”

“Are you going to live with him?” 

Shit. Shit, she knew. She had to know.

“With who, mom?” Andy only just managed to meet her gaze.

“Don’t do that.” The hurt in her voice tumbled over into a trembling. Andy couldn’t stand it, “Don’t lie to me.”

“He found the lot.” he tried to appease her, “We talked and we thought it might help us both to go in on it together.” He sat down beside her. 

“And when is this happening?”

“I don’t even know if it _is_ happening.”

“You want to.” His mother said, quietly, as if she was the deciding factor. As if she _knew._

She was silent a long time. Andy held his face in his hands then wiped over his mouth with some frustration. He felt shame and anger and indignation in quick succession. He purposefully clenched his mouth shut to avoid lashing out at his mother. 

He heard her inhale sharply before she said, “Do you…” but the thought remained unfinished, to Andy’s relief. 

“Can we just,” Andy asked, “eat lunch? We can talk about this some other time, when I know more.” 

His mother nodded, putting on a smile. The meal was somewhat awkward, but anything beat talking about Andy’s plans to live with Eddie. After he closed the door behind his mother, Andy slumped into his bed. He wanted to be with Eddie and simultaneously was grateful to be nowhere near him. 

 

More than three months after Andy last visited the Hill Country, he got a telephone call. He’d been in his family room when he phone rang out and he walked slowly to answer it. 

“Hello?” he asked, scratching a thumb across his forehead. 

“Hello,” came across the line in the sweet tone Andy knew so well. 

“Eddie, it’s good to hear your voice.”

“Same to you, Skipper.” Eddie said with an evident affection.

“How are you?”

“I’m good,” he paused for a moment, “I have news.”

“News?” Andy turned to lean onto the counter and crossed his legs at the ankles. 

“Doctor says I’ve healed enough. I can travel and I can come see you.”

Andy knew the smile that spread across his face was mirrored on the other end of the line. 

“I have a ticket already. Next week.”

Andy’s smile faltered a bit and he sighed, “I doubt I’ll be able to take off work.”

“I know,” Eddie replied, “I just want to be with you.”

“I’ll be there to pick you up.”

Andy told his parents that a healed Eddie was coming into town and his mother immediately arranged a dinner with all parties, including Bill and Evelyn. Warmth spread through Andy at the idea of Eddie being included in his own family. A dumb looking smile took residence on his face for the remainder of the week. 

He wasn’t nearly as nervous when he picked up Eddie from the station this time. He managed to see Eddie before Eddie noticed him and was given the chance to watch him. Eddie moved with relative ease; he didn’t seem to be inhibited by any pain. His wrist was wrapped, but the same hand still held his suitcase, so the pain must’ve been minimal. Eddie stood tall, straight-backed, and when he saw Andy his eyes grew wide and his mouth pulled into such a bright smile, Andy felt something bloom inside himself. 

Surprisingly, as Andy watched, Eddie broke into a run, the last few yards of his way to Andy. He nearly knocked Andy over when they collided. He hugged him, tight and warm, and it took all of Andy’s will power not to melt into the touch. Instead, he hugged him for as long as he dared, and then clapped his back and led him to his car. The ride to his apartment was quick, as quick as Andy could manage. Eddie’s hand rested on his thigh the entire way. 

The door closed behind both of them and Andy made to move into the kitchen, but Eddie caught the cuff of his sleeve and yanked him back. He slid an arm around Andy’s waist and held him close; his other hand came up to touch his face, to trace a thumb across a cheekbone, across a brow, to run the back of his hand down the side of his face. He pulled Andy forward and down by the back of his neck and pressed a kiss to his temple. 

Andy let his hands rest on Eddie’s shoulders, unsure of Eddie’s healing wounds.

Eddie hummed and said into his skin, “Missed you.”

The words seeped into him with milky smoothness. Andy resisted the urge to lean against Eddie and instead smiled and kissed him, and said against his lips, “Missed you, too, Jones.”

Eddie grinned and pushed Andy somewhat playfully. Andy had told him about the dinner that night and both needed to change their clothes; Andy let Eddie have the bathroom to himself so he could gather himself after the long train ride. When both were ready, Andy drove to his parents’ house and let Eddie roll his window down. When he could, he snuck looks at the way the wind swept through Eddie’s curls and reddened Eddie’s cheeks. Andy was struck with the thought that he looked rather beautiful like this. 

Dinner was served and the family seated just as Andy and Eddie arrived. Mr. Haldane sat at the head of the table, Mrs. Haldane at the foot, Bill sat at his father’s left side with his wife beside him, and Andy sat on his father’s right with Eddie beside him. Mr. Haldane blessed the meal and they all ate large helpings of food; Andy chatted with his brother and father and Eddie mostly remained silent. Soon, though, Evelyn engaged him in pleasant conversation and Andy felt him relax next to him. Continuing in his own conversation, Andy kept half his mind on what Eddie was saying. 

Evelyn asked him all the usual things: what was his job, how was his family, how was he finding himself now? Eddie answered politely and in detail. Andy always loved that, Eddie never spoke down to people and took as much interest as they did in any given subject. He was warm and he was gentle and it baffled Andy that he would want him. 

Evelyn had kept Daniel in a little carrying cradle at her feet while they ate, but brought him up to hold in her arms after the meal was done and only conversation remained. The entire table began to talk together and as Andy sat and basked in the comfort and love he felt here, some odd thought kicked in the back of his brain. Sitting across from his brother and his wife, it became clear how Eddie fit into the family, or how he _could_ fit into the family. Andy wondered what it would be like if he could hold Eddie the way Bill and Evelyn held each other, if he could kiss him goodnight like they did, if Eddie could be his like his brother’s wife was his. The thought grew like fog over his brain until he could think of little else. He watched and blinked as the conversation went on, hardly participating. Then something happened that struck him.

Eddie asked if he could be allowed to hold Daniel and, before Andy’s eyes, Evelyn walked around the table, stooped, and gently gave her son to him and Eddie took him as naturally as he breathed. Andy watched Eddie rock Daniel and bounce him in his arms; he saw Eddie talk to him softly and kiss his little head. 

Eddie looked up with a gentle smile and said, “He’s precious. You know, I love kids.”

With her chin neatly balanced on her dainty fists, Evelyn replied, “Do you want any of your own one day?”

“I don’t know,” said Eddie easily, even as Andy’s heart did a quickstep, “If I can, I think so.”

Andy could see it, Eddie with a pretty wife and pretty children, living in a warm home so far away from Japan Eddie could find peace. Andy would never be able to offer that, he had no peace to give Eddie; he would always be a part of Japan. 

“Andy?” Evelyn broke into his thoughts. 

“Yes?” he looked to her sharply, “I’m sorry?”

Evelyn smiled the way she always did, warm and soft and graciously, “Nothing,” she said, “you just looked troubled.”

“Ah,” Andy waved a hand, “I’m just going through my to-do list.”

The table laughed and the knots in Andy’s stomach loosened somewhat. Soon, Bill and Evelyn made to leave with Daniel and dinner was called to an end. Andy kissed his parents and hugged his brother. He placed a kiss on Daniel’s head. 

The drive home held no conversation but was comfortable and pleasant. Eddie sang _Be Thou My Vision_ under his breath and Andy quickly brought him home.

In the family room, Andy and Eddie stood with the lights off, lamplight from the street spilling in milky and golden through the blinded windows. Chest-to-chest, they held each other; their heads were tucked onto the other’s shoulder and opposite arms held the other’s waist. Eddie’s right hand came up to hold Andy’s head and Andy’s right hand did the same to Eddie’s. They swayed, not dancing, but moving with the rhythm of their breaths. Eddie’s body was solid and warm; Andy held onto him with all he could and tried not to hold his breath. 

Eddie’s hand moved to stroke through Andy’s hair before he said, “It felt like I’d never get to hold you again, these past few months.”

The image of a happy Eddie with a normal family crept into Andy’s mind again and in an attempt to smother the guilt that filled his throat, he buried his face in Eddie’s neck. It wasn’t right, to keep Eddie for himself like this, not when he could so easily have more. 

He heard Eddie say it. He should have known that Eddie would figure him out. “What’s wrong?”

Without lifting his head, Andy replied with some trouble, “When I saw you holding Daniel, and you looked so pleased, I thought of you with a son of your own.” He squeezed his eyes at the pain he felt in his gut, “I think you’d be a good father.”

He felt Eddie nod, “I’ve wanted children; I love children. But I don’t understand…”

“If I wasn’t here, if I wasn’t–You could have a family.” Eddie was shaking his head but Andy went on, “A wife who would give you children.”

“Andy, don’t–”

Andy lifted his head to look at Eddie. He found confusion and pain on his face and it felt horrible, “You could be happy with a life so far away from the war… You were beaten because of me–”

“Stop it. Stop.” Eddie’s hand tightened painfully on the nape of his neck, “I don’t want to hear this.” 

Some strange desperation filled Andy and he felt as if he might cry or scream. Instead he said through a choking throat, “I’m not a replacement for–”

The hand that held his neck tightly shook him a bit, “No, you’re not.” Eddie said. “I’m not choosing you instead of a family. I’ve picked you to be my family. You’re it; I don’t want anything else.”

He waited for Andy’s response, but nothing came from him. He felt guilty for upsetting Eddie like this.

“Did I do something wrong? To make you think I didn’t want you?”

“No, Eddie!” Andy said, “No, it’s just–” he swallowed and tried again, “you’re healthy and you’re here. I feel like I’m keeping you from the life you could have.”

“You’re not keeping me from anything. This is my choice.” Eddie looked straight through him as his voice raised, “You don’t think I know my options? I know I could find a girl somewhere, but I haven’t.” Quiet again, he said, “Because I’d rather have you. This is the better choice.”

Andy took a moment to read the sincerity and determination in Eddie’s face before he relented and leant his head on Eddie’s shoulder. He sighed through his nose and pulled his arms tightly around Eddie’s waist, felt Eddie drop a kiss onto his head. Andy nodded, staying silent but deciding that he believed him. 

“I missed you,” Eddie said after a long time.

“God, I think about you all the time,” Andy raised his head to smile at Eddie, “I missed you, it almost hurt.”

“Don’t hurt,” said Eddie as his hand slid to the back of Andy’s head. He kissed him and Andy became bright and full of color. It was impossible not to be, when Eddie had been gone for so long, and now he was his and here. He let his hands thread into Eddie’s curls as he moved to kiss under his jaw. Eddie’s hand flexed around Andy’s neck and he took a slight step back, but he kissed Andy’s mouth again like he couldn’t help it.

Andy couldn’t exactly find the words he wanted; none of them seemed right. He hoped Eddie understood as he took his hand and led him back.

Here, in his own apartment, in his bedroom, door closed, curtains drawn, Andy had Eddie and a whole world to himself. Andy was surprised when Eddie pressed him against his door when he closed it. Then again, maybe not surprised. Andy was still afraid to hurt Eddie; he was waiting for Eddie to tell him it was okay, okay to touch him the way he wanted to. Pushing Andy against a door and pressing himself flush against him was a decent way of doing so. 

All day they’d been with Andy’s parents or in town or anywhere but here, alone. Before then, it had been months, months of too-short letters and Andy unable to keep watch over Eddie as he healed. Months without a touch. 

Now, Eddie kissed him, sweetly, but with heat, too. The way Eddie’s mouth moved against his, the way their bodies pressed from chest to hip, made Andy’s head spin. He swore he could float.

When they broke, Eddie said, “I don’t–”

“We don’t have to,” Andy said quickly. 

“Fuck that,” was the heated response, one that came with Eddie cupping his neck, “I want to. I’m just not sure how…”

Andy smiled. It was so gratifying to know he wasn’t the only one who had waited for this. “We’ll go slow,” he said, “We have all the time we need.” Andy pressed slow, soft kisses into Eddie’s neck as he spoke, “Slow is good.” Eddie’s groan was low and Andy felt it in his gut, “Slow means it lasts.”

Eddie pushed Andy back just enough to get his mouth in a kiss, one he deepened once he got his fingers threaded through Andy’s hair. Andy held Eddie’s waist; he could feel the muscles moving and contracting as Eddie moved his hips against him. That realization made him dizzy. The thought of Eddie needy sent a surge of blood to his groin. There was a chance Eddie noticed, too, judging by the smile Andy could feel in his kiss. 

Eddie moved to kiss Andy’s jaw, nipped at his ear, and Andy let out a whine he almost felt ashamed of. But how could he feel ashamed when Eddie’s response was to lick at his neck and press his forehead to Andy’s shoulder? The hurried breaths that came from him matched the nervous ones coming from Andy. He felt Eddie slowly, so fucking slowly, start to unbutton his shirt. Eddie’s breath was shaky, but his hands were sure as his undid Andy’s shirt, one button at a time. Andy dropped his head back into his door. Eyes shut and mouth open, he couldn’t do anything but let Eddie strip him. 

When Eddie had his shirt open, he surged his hands up Andy’s sides, and Andy opened his eyes just in time to see Eddie push his shirt over his shoulders and down his arms. His mouth hung open and his eyes so obviously soaked in everything he saw that Andy could feel his cock grow harder. He had to close his eyes again, chest heaving. Eddie could take him apart so easily. 

“Fuck,” Eddie breathed. His hand came up the center of Andy’s torso and down again, his thumb dragging across Andy’s nipple. Andy felt a zap go through his spine; he’d never felt that before. He grasped Eddie by the head with both hands and flipped their positions. 

“I want to see you,” he said before he took to sucking a spot onto Eddie’s neck and undoing his shirt. Andy fit their hips together and could feel Eddie moving against him, possibly, it occurred to Andy, unthinkingly. Another thing Andy couldn’t help but find wonderful. 

Andy dragged his fingers down Eddie’s chest as each bit was revealed. Goosebumps blossomed across Eddie’s skin; Andy suddenly couldn’t help himself. He licked a hot stripe up Eddie’s neck and ducked down to kiss twice at his chest before sucking his nipple into his mouth. Eddie sucked in a shuddering gasp. Andy brought himself back to smile smugly at Eddie and push his shirt completely off. 

The sight of Eddie’s exposed chest sent something through Andy. Eddie was clean and unblemished; months of healing had done him good. The relief Andy felt threatened to pour over, so instead he kissed Eddie and held them flush together. 

They got lost in it for who knows how long. 

When they broke apart, Eddie was gorgeous and flushed and breathing hard. 

“What,” Andy needed to catch his breath too, “What’s next?” A breath of nervous laughter bubbled up. Eddie, however, seemed sure as he undid his own fly and shucked his trousers and briefs. Andy watched as he stroked his own cock. 

“Oh, shit,” Andy’s words were barely audible and he couldn’t be sure his voice was unbroken. He backed up a few paces, palming his cock through his pants. He was hard enough now that it hurt. Eddie stalked forward until the back of Andy’s knees found the bed and he sat down. 

“Fuck, no,” Eddie said, “You don’t need to do that when I’m here.” He knelt in front of Andy, kissing at his stomach as he undid his fly and tugged down his pants. The cool air made Andy shiver. Without warning, Eddie grasped his cock, forcing a surprised shout from Andy. Eddie’s grin was wicked and Andy’s eyes were wide as Eddie moved down and lapped at the head of Andy’s cock. Andy gasped and felt his eyes close.

When they opened, he found Eddie looking intently at him. Andy wondered if he was waiting for permission. 

“You–you don’t have to–”

“Shut. Up.” Eddie pushed Andy’s chest so he laid flat on his back and held his hands by his sides. He licked up Andy’s cock once, earning a shudder from Andy, and then took Andy’s cock in his mouth. 

“Oh, my God,” Andy knew his voice was broken that time.

Eddie moved slowly. Andy had never felt anything like it. His mouth was hot and wet; it was spectacular. He could feel Eddie’s tongue dragging along the underside of his cock, up and down, and Andy couldn’t help the noises coming from him. Eddie hummed in response and the vibration jerked a yelp from Andy. 

With nothing restricting him, Andy found his hips moved up into Eddie’s mouth without his say so. Andy apologized blindly but Eddie didn’t seem to mind. He hummed encouragingly and moved in time with Andy’s minute thrusts. 

Andy’s mouth hung open with the stream of helpless sounds he made. The rhythm of Eddie’s mouth, of his tongue, had him crazy, delirious with pleasure. 

“I think I’m–Oh, _God_ –” Eddie released Andy’s wrists and let Andy twine his hands in his curls as he pulled his fingernails harshly down Andy’s chest. It felt like fire.

“ _Fuck_.” Andy convulsed as he came, helpless to the waves of pleasure that rolled through him.

When he came back to himself he realized that he’d come into Eddie’s mouth, that Eddie had apparently swallowed it, and that a pearl of it was decorating his lip. Seemingly possessed by something, Andy surged forward and licked it from Eddie’s bottom lip. He tasted salt and tang and the thought of Eddie tasting him, of _liking_ the way he tasted, made his cock twitch helplessly. He sat back and saw that Eddie looked completely blindsided.

“Jesus, Skipper,” his whispered, “never thought you’d do something like that.”

Eddie was breathing just as hard as Andy. Andy could only shake his head; he had no explanation to give him. 

“I didn’t expect you to touch me like that,” Andy managed to say after several moments.

Eddie crawled on top of him, swaying almost, as he said, “I want to do more than that.”

Andy grinned. He brought his hands up to tangle in the curls at the crown of Eddie’s head, kissing him slowly and thoroughly. Eddie moaned into his mouth and Andy felt him rutting against him. The solid line of his cock on the inside of his hip was unexpectedly hot and intense. Andy felt the tip of Eddie’s cock spread precome along the inside seam of his hipbone. Andy dragged his fingernails down Eddie’s back to feel him shiver and then grabbed his ass to help his thrusts. Soon they weren’t really kissing, just pressed together, open lips brushing as Eddie panted wildly. 

But Andy wasn’t ready for this to be over–not yet. He collected himself as much as he could and stuttered against Eddie’s mouth, “I have–I bought–”

He couldn’t quite continue, but Eddie lifted his head and looked where Andy was gesturing to his nightstand table. Eddie leaned over and slid open the drawer. He pulled out the small jar of vaseline Andy had bought maybe a week ago. 

Andy feared Eddie would pick on him for having it prepared, but Eddie only propped himself up on his hands and looked at Andy. 

“Is this what you want?” he asked. 

“Assuming you do, too,” Andy nodded, already squirming under Eddie’s gaze. 

Eddie was back to kissing him an instant later. His hands slid underneath him so he could hold Andy flush against him and the movement made Andy gasp. 

“I haven’t before, you know.” Eddie said in between kisses. He wasn’t shy, only letting Andy know. 

“Slow,” Andy smiled.

Eddie sat up and picked up the vaseline. He unscrewed the top and took some on his fingers. 

“Is this okay?” he asked, seriously.

“Yeah,” the thought had him heady, “I want it.” 

Eddie kissed down his chest and stomach, shifted down to kiss at the inside of Andy’s thighs where his feet were firmly planted on the mattress. Andy knew he was done for when Eddie smoothed the vaseline over him. His legs fell open and his eyes rolled closed. 

“Shit,” whispered Eddie, like he was in awe. Andy didn’t understand what he had to be astonished about. He lifted his head to see him and found him looking back, looking at his flushed chest, his restless hands. Eddie’s expression was filled with heat and it pressed into him.

Eddie took Andy by the hips and moved both of them so Andy was positioned on top, straddling Eddie’s hips while Eddie sat back against the headboard. Andy realized he liked being moved around like that. 

From this position, Eddie could kiss him while he worked at him with the vaseline. It was obvious to Andy that both of them were nervous, but it gave the encounter an added energy that twittered high in their chests. Andy was breathless and it seemed Eddie couldn’t help but smile.

It was a long time before Eddie pressed his index finger into Andy, to the first knuckle, and then completely. The sensation made Andy breathe in harshly through his nose. It felt… a lot, but Andy let himself relax and feel the way Eddie’s other hand stroked gently up and down his side. 

Eddie added more vaseline to his hand before working his finger in and out.

“ _Oh_ ,” Andy moaned because this felt a lot too, but it was good. It was so good. 

“Is this okay?” It was unclear whether Eddie was nervous or if he just wanted to hear Andy say it.

“God, Eddie…” Andy clutched Eddie’s shoulders tightly. 

Eddie pulled his finger out to massage Andy with two vaseline-coated fingers before pushing both in to the first knuckle. Andy jolted but didn’t protest, so Eddie worked them both in and out, pushing a little further with each thrust until both fingers were completely inside of Andy. Andy’s forehead rested on Eddie’s shoulder. 

“How do you feel?” This was Eddie checking up on him. 

“I feel good,” Andy smiled against his skin, “It’s new, but it’s good.”

Eddie ducked his head so he could kiss Andy. He laced his free hand in Andy’s hair at the base of his skull, cradling his head. Andy rose up on his knees while Eddie moved his fingers inside him. For a long while, they just kissed, Eddie drinking up every sound Andy made as he rocked his body up and down with Eddie’s fingers. Andy felt a leading edge of desperation begin to fill him; his cock was nearly hard again and he felt warmth spread throughout him. Eddie’s hand just felt so good. Eddie seemed so calm. How could he be calm?

Eddie pulled Andy back gently so they could look at each other. 

“Could I…” his breath was shuttering, “I want to fuck you.”

“Yeah,” Andy’s voice was breathless and he nodded his head emphatically, “Just slow, slow…”

Eddie nodded and kissed him. He pulled his fingers out and Andy watched, heavy-lidded, as he coated his cock with the vaseline. He gasped when Eddie massaged vaseline onto his entrance one more time. 

When Eddie lined himself up and pushed in, Andy found himself pushing down to meet him and groaning louder than he thought he would. 

Eddie moaned out brokenly, “A–ah.”

Eddie filled him more completely than he thought possible and any pain he experienced was more than offset by the circular movements of Eddie’s hips and the feeling of closeness. 

Really, he couldn’t get close enough. He kissed Eddie, lapped at his tongue with his, he pressed in as tightly as he could. He touched Eddie’s collar, his neck, his face. He wanted to feel him everywhere. It seemed impossible and, yet, necessary. The sounds Eddie made as they rocked together slowly and thickly were like honey or molasses. Deep and full and Andy needed to hear each one, to understand it entirely. 

But Eddie was pushing him back, his eyes following his hands as they mapped over every inch of him. His hands came to rest on Andy’s forearms and his eyes on Andy’s hips. Andy grinned when he realized Eddie wanted to watch. He wanted to see Andy take what he wanted. 

Andy began pushing down with more purpose. He fucked himself on Eddie’s cock and couldn’t help the high pitched noises that were punched from him every time their hips met. He looked down at Eddie and placed a hand on the center of his chest to steady himself. 

“You like this, Jones?” his voice was proud, “Do I make you feel good?”

Eddie’s response was to surge up and kiss Andy as if he’d never get to kiss him again. The change in angle made Andy cry out. Eddie was suddenly hitting some switch inside him he hadn’t known about before. Eddie moving inside him like this was like fire; it was almost too much. But Andy found he wanted more of it. He braced his hands on Eddie’s shoulders so he could push against him harder, silent breaths pushed out of him each time he did. 

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut as he leaned back against the headboard. When he opened them again his expression was so open it made something pull hard in Andy’s chest. Eddie looked shattered. 

“God, you’re beautiful,” Eddie said and the thing pulled inside Andy again. Andy didn’t understand what Eddie saw but he knew Eddie was beautiful. Right now, he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Ah–Fuck, Andy, I’m–” Eddie sounded distressed.

“It’s okay,” Andy hushed him, “You can.”

“No,” Eddie said, his voice almost cracking, “No, I want you to first.”

Andy wrapped a hand gently around Eddie’s neck, “No, come on, Eddie,” he said, “I want it, please,” the thought of Eddie coming inside him made him dizzy. “Give it to me, come on.”

Eddie kept moving in and out of him and Andy matched him all the while; he leant down, couldn’t get close enough. He whispered soft encouragement to him, urging him to let go. 

He felt Eddie still as their hips met. He wound tight and gripped Andy’s arms hard. Andy could feel it as Eddie came inside of him; Eddie’s cry was broken and his chest heaved with the force of it. The sight drove Andy crazy and he had to touch himself. He stroked his now leaking cock with his eyes shut and his mouth open. When his orgasm overtook him, he whimpered and watched himself empty onto Eddie’s stomach. 

He did his best not to press all his weight onto Eddie when he collapsed forward and sometime later Eddie detangled himself so he could clean them both. He pulled at the covers of Andy’s bed and tucked both of them underneath. Andy and Eddie both laid on their sides, facing each other. There was some nervousness between them, but Andy felt warm and sleepy. It was impossible to not be happy. 

“You think you’d be interested in doing that again sometime?” Andy asked.

Eddie stroked his cheek and Andy turned his face to kiss his fingers, “You’re beautiful, Andy.” was all he said. 

Satisfied and supremely exhausted, Andy found it all to easy to begin drifting into sleep. Before he completely went, he felt Eddie turn him around and fit himself around him.

“Could you imagine us with a son, or a little daughter?” He heard Eddie ask into his hair. Andy smiled with his eyes still closed. 

“A pretty little girl with nobody but two ex-military officers? She wouldn’t know what to do with herself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated since october? seriously? gosh, you guys, thanks for sticking it out with me.


	8. Gardens

Building the house took months. Andy and Eddie bought the lot of land, each contributing half, contractors coming in to do the actual construction. Andy told his parents together and he made it as simple a lie as possible. 

“Eddie and I decided to move to Virginia together,” he told them at their dinner table, “There’s good job opportunities there and we thought living together might be easier.” He watched his mother, who didn’t look at him. She must’ve known he was lying. He had no idea what he’d do once he got down there. She didn’t say a thing, however. 

“Don’t you enjoy your work here?” his father had his brows knit together, one hand holding his wife’s.

“It’s not that, dad, I just…” Andy dragged a hand over his mouth, “I don’t know how to explain it.”

His dad nodded once, “I understand. I mean, I think I do.”

Andy was sure he didn’t. But he was grateful nonetheless. 

He called Eddie a short time later to ask him if he’d told his family. 

“Yeah, Mama and Pop know,” he told Andy, “and I told Sheridan and Joe.”

“Did Joe… say anything?” Andy twisted the telephone cord in his hand.

“No, he,” he heard Eddie shift around, “I think he learned his lesson.”

There was a pause before Eddie said on a sigh, “I don’t know how I’m gonna tell Ruthie.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Andy said as easily as he could, “Maybe I can help you.”

“I don’t know, Ack Ack.” 

 

However, Andy didn’t get the chance. A month and a half later he received a letter from Eddie. 

 

_Dear Andy,_

 

_So, I told Ruth today. At first she didn’t understand, she asked me if I had to go back and fight again. I explained to her as best I could, and she was much happier to hear I would be with you. But she’s still upset. Hopefully, she’ll come around._

 

_I’ll see you soon,_

_Eddie_

 

Andy was unable to visit the property during its construction, it wasn’t practical, but Eddie could. He lived much closer and sometimes took trips down from the mountains to check the progress of their home. He’d call Andy every time he did. 

“Walls are up, it’s basically a box.”

“But it’s ours.” Andy said.

“You’re too sentimental for me, Captain.”

It became apparent that Andy would have to give up much of his belongings in order to move. He and Eddie made a list of what they would need, keeping in mind that a guest bedroom was necessary. It didn’t come back to much. The day before they were to move in, Andy kissed his parents goodbye-for-now and hopped on a train headed for the Hill Country, this time with a wiry Snafu by his side. Eddie met him and upon standing on the Jones’s stoop, Andy was struck with the sudden reality of his soon-to-be new life. Eddie seemed to catch him, but Andy never knew because the front for was flung open by Mama and he was pulled inside. 

“Andy, dear, how was your trip?”

“Ah, very good, ma’am.” Andy said, laying down his bag, this time full of as many clothes as he could pack. 

“Enough of that, call me Mama.” There was something anxious in her energy; she seemed unable to still herself. Perhaps she was nervous for her son to move away. 

Andy replied quietly, as if he might upset her to speak loudly, “Yes, Mama.”

Eddie came to stand beside him, placing a hand on his back briefly, “I’ll take your bag downstairs for the night.”

As he left, Ruth appeared, peeping around the frame of her bedroom door. Andy smiled at her and put up his hand in a wave; seemingly glued to her spot, she leaned forward but didn’t move to him. That was, until Andy crouched on his knees so she might talk to him face-to-face. She slowly approached him, little bare feet making no noise on the carpet. 

“Hello, Captain Haldane,” she said, one hand blocking her mouth and her eyes dancing around to look at his clothes. She didn’t smile as usual.

“Ruth, why don’t you call me Andy.”

“You’re a grown-up.”

“I give you permission, then,” Andy said and slowly reached out to touch her pretty hair. 

She nodded and then walked into the kitchen to lean against her mother as dinner was prepared. 

Dinner itself was simple and good. Conversation was sparse but comfortable and pleasant. Mr. Jones asked if he should ask Joe tomorrow to help pack items into the truck and, to Andy’s surprise, Eddie said yes. After dinner, all went their separate ways, and Eddie accompanied Ruth to her room, Ruth holding his hand and pulling him along. 

From the basement, Andy heard the muffled but obvious sound of Eddie’s voice, unaccompanied by his guitar. He must’ve been singing to Ruth, something sweet and a little melancholy. Andy laid on his back, beneath Eddie’s blankets, listening to the sound of his voice travel through the wood of the house. He almost fell asleep himself before Eddie sat on the edge of the bed. 

When he didn’t lie down, Andy sat himself up and looked to him. “Everything alright?” he asked. 

Eddie nodded, but even as he did his face scrunched up and he began to cry. Before he thought of it, Andy was already holding him, petting his head and squeezing him tightly. Eddie didn't say why he cried, but Andy could guess. It didn't last long and when it was over Eddie dressed himself in sleep pants and an undershirt. He tucked himself into the little bed next to Andy, without a word, feeling the warm skin of his stomach and back underneath his shirt. His palm was calloused but felt pleasant between Andy’s shoulders.

Andy kissed him and touched his face, feeling the soft, short whiskers that had grown within the the past two days. Eddie took him and deepened the kiss as he rolled over Andy and pressed into him insistently. Andy meant to push him off, he did, but it felt so impossible to be in Eddie’s warm bed, surrounded by the smell of him, and not touch him. He let Eddie move with him and he let himself feel good, only for a little while. Before they were too far gone, Andy pushed on Eddie’s chest.

“Not here.” he said against his mouth and felt Eddie pull away, “I want to, but… we’re so close. Let’s not jinx ourselves.”

Eddie nodded, then grinned something mischievous and nipped at Andy’s neck once before flopping onto his back with his arms stretched above his head. He looked at Andy for a while. Andy let him study his face. But after a while, Eddie closed his eyes and curled up, just like Andy had seen him do dozens of time before. Andy let himself fall into sleep and waited for Eddie to spread out in his sleep, just like he’d seen him do dozens of times before.   

In the morning, they woke before the sun, showered, ate, and began packing the truck before the earth got too warm. 

“Is Ruth still mad at ya?” asked Joe from his spot in the bed of the truck.

“Yeah, thanks for mentioning it.” Eddie gave his brother a frustrated look.

Joe nodded, pausing with his hands on his hips, “Eh,” he clucked, “she’ll come ‘round.”

Eddie only shook his head and slapped Joe’s calf as he hopped from the bed of the truck before slamming the tailgate shut. 

Joe walked back into the house and passed Mama as he slid through the front doorway. Coming onto the porch, Mama called, “Andy, come have a cup of coffee with me.”

“Mama?” Eddie said, taking a step forward before Andy could reply.

“I asked for Andy, when I want you, Eddie, I’ll call for you.” 

Andy looked to Eddie, who shrugged, and walked up the porch, following Mama into the kitchen. 

“Ma’am?” Andy asked to her back as she picked up two blue mugs. She turned around and gave one to Andy, the coffee warming his hands, and walked to the back porch without a word. 

Andy followed her and closed the door behind himself.

“Mama,” she tossed at him and upon Andy’s inquiring look, she said, “I want you to call me Mama.”

“Yes, ma–” he stopped himself, “Yes, Mama.”

“I’ve done a lot of thinking, recently,” she said into the morning air, “and I’ve come to a decision.” 

Andy sipped his coffee because it seemed like the thing he should do, “What’s that?”

She looked at him for a moment and smiled with closed lips, “I’ve decided that you’re my son.”

The wind was knocked out of Andy. He looked to Mama, found she did not waver, and tried to speak. “I–”

“Eddie’s more himself when he’s with you. He’s _better_ when he’s with you.”

“Ma’am, I–” Andy could feel the back of his neck prickle red with heat and he prayed it didn’t show on his face.

“Mama.” she corrected again, “I know you’re scared, but Eddie’s my son, and he loves you. So, you’re my son, too.” She touched Andy’s arm. He couldn’t say a thing, “I’ve loved him his whole life, Andy,” she said easily, “There’s no way he could’ve managed to fall in love without my noticing.”

“What do you–should I do something?”

Mama waved off the idea, “There’s not a thing to do. Both of you have my blessing.”

Without another thought, Andy hugged her. And she hugged back and that was that. Andy made his way back to Eddie and had to resist the urge to kiss him there. Eddie could see it in his face, though. 

“What’s wrong?”

Andy bounced on his heels a moment, looked to find Mama placed in the doorframe, then whispered into Eddie’s ear like a child. 

“She knows.”

Eddie tensed but Andy reached to grip his forearm, “It’s alright, it’s alright.”

Eddie pulled away and studied Andy’s face with something wild in his eyes; he looked to his mother, standing in the doorway, seemed to crumple and choke, and took a few striding steps toward her before falling into her arms. They held each other, and his mother touched his face tenderly. Andy couldn’t hear any words that were exchanged, but it seemed to him that he didn't belong there. He was happy to step aside for this. 

 

Before 8:30, all of Eddie’s family stood, pretty as a picture, ready to see them off. Both Eddie and Andy hugged each Jones in turn, giving their love and their thanks. When Eddie reached the end of the line, he crouched and held little Ruthie to him. 

“I love you, Ruthie.”

“I love you, too.”

He held her gaze for a moment, nodded, and kissed her head. Andy followed suit, and wondered at the feeling of her little hands clasping him so tightly. 

Out the door and into the truck Andy, Eddie, and Snafu piled and rolled away, waving goodbye. By the time they were on the main road, Eddie was humming and singing. The trip was to take about five hours and the majority of it took place on abandoned, one-lane roads. Eddie sang with the windows down and Snafu snoozed in Andy’s sun-soaked lap. 

The house itself stood alone on a large swatch of land, a single, white monument sitting, sunlit in the afternoon air. They rode up a hill, overlooking the property and to Andy, it looked idilic. Peaceful and quiet. The inside was empty, two tiny bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen and a living room. Andy fell in love with it. 

Without much to move in, Andy and Eddie slept on a mattress on the floor for a long time. There was nothing for the guest room, a little couch and a little table, a coffee maker. They painted the bedrooms blue and the kitchen green; together they carpentered bookshelves and slowly filled them with well loved volumes. Windows were often kept open and radios often on. Snafu made his way in and out of the house at will and spent most of his time pawing through the gardens Andy planted. 

Both worked and earned money; neither were addressed by rank. 

But the very first night there was only Andy, Eddie, and the frame of a house. On the mattress on the floor Eddie kissed Andy freely and without fear; on the mattress on the floor Andy stripped Eddie and himself of their clothes and felt what it was like to be so close and so full of warmth. Andy loved Eddie and let himself be loved by him. Eddie moved against him and with him and inside him and, with his arms draped around his neck, Andy said his name on their shared breath.

_Eddie, Eddie, Eddie…_

“Andy.”

His voice was reverent and shaken; Andy took his mouth in a kiss and told him he loved him without words. When Eddie touched him, Andy cried out and felt Eddie hold him flush. The world narrowed and there was nothing but him; there was only ever him. 

When Andy fell over the edge, he took Eddie with him. They laid together, side by side, and fell asleep with the happy knowledge that this was it and this was everything. 

When they woke, they woke in a home. The first morning of many to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, my dudes! I can't believe this is the end! It's been such a pleasure to write for you and I hope to write for you again! Thank you all so much. I love all of you!

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. This is made up and based on fiction.  
> 2\. Kudos and Comments are adored!  
> 3\. Find me on tumblr! @ackackh  
> 4\. Chapter count may change.


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